Jenn - Do NOT read this entry.

I've done it. I think I have finally figured out why I've been so down the last couple months. I suppose I've known it all along and I've been in denial. But, I need to man-up and face reality.

I miss college.

I didn't exactly lead the typical college lifestyle. I never drank, I never hooked up with randos at the bar, I rarely skipped a class, and I certainly never showed up to one drunk and/or hungover. Still, my unique experience was perfect for me.

It's funny to think that only two months ago, my life was completely different. I would wake up (at the ever-so-early 11:00 AM), shower, and slowly amble to class...where I spent more time talking with friends than actually learning anything. After returning home, I'd go through a drive-thru or stop at a restaurant with Jenn and get lunch/dinner. At 7:30, I would head over to Derailed for some Jeopardy and get ready for the evening's events. These events usually included hefty drinking (for the others, not me), one (or more) bars uptown, and a rowdy dance party in the living room - complete with grinding and a strobe light.

Don't get me wrong. I paid for this lifestyle. I would get home between 1:00-2:00 AM and then, I was forced to write papers, do reading, study, etc. In my last semester of college, I pulled more all-nighters than most people pull in their entire lifetime. I kid you not.

But, I would do anything to get that life back. Now, all of my friends are getting married and have big kid jobs. They wake up super early, work 9-5. They have no problem going to BW3's for a beer or two...but it's not the same. No one dances, no one gets unruly. I can't believe I'm saying this - but even a tiny part of me misses nasty Underground.

Secretly, I've been telling myself that we are all going back in the fall. We will go to Brick Street, Underground, or Mac & Joe's every night for some debauchery and then, two hatorades later, head back to Derailed for the most epic dance party known to man. Only now that I've been home, alone during the day, have I've realized that even if I were going back, it wouldn't be the same.

Eventually, I will move on. I can't live in a perpetual state of denial (although I'd like to try). I remember graduating from high school and feeling the same way. It just takes time. Time that I don't want to spend. I need to find something to occupy my time, a routine to fall into.

Until then, I'll miss it. Everything about it. Piano Man Wednesdays. Admiring the stars and avoiding the cops at Houston Woods. Jump Around during the 3rd period. Burrito Loco. Dance parties on furniture. Bonfires. Clintons at Shriver. Holding Jenn back from the black corner at Brick. Trips to see the motorcycle ghost. Hot Scott subs. Dance battles at Underground. Being one of only a few fans at Miami football games (and still being proud). Watching CJ dance when she thinks no one is watching. Tacos and tubbies at Mac & Joe's. Rock Band for far too many hours at Swing Hall. The sound of Pulley Tower playing a song on the bells. Watching the leaves change in the fall. Listening to Ben play the guitar or rap. Misfitz and Remnants concerts at Hall Auditorium. Thanksgiving at Central Perk. Bell Tower and Harris dining hall dinners. Watching the hockey team win after waiting in line for four hours. Green Beer Day. Watching Nick dance alone at the bar. Late night trips to McDonald's. Watching broomball games. '90s night at Brick. Oxford Diner. Bar crawls and pub golf. Marchoween. The Mexi-Club at 45. Walking on Western Campus. Sitting on the patio at Skipper's. Truth or dare. My 'band' with Cara. Sharing a dorm room with my best friend. Begging Eric to tuck. Sitting in MET Quad with friends. Halloween at Derailed. Sneaking boys into Ogden. Octoberfest. Tower-to-Go loaded fries. Long talks with TJ on the couch. Avoiding the seal. Cramming into Steinkeller. The plum tree in front of Central Perk. Jorts! Dancing with Claire(s). Passing student tours and wanting to reassure them that Miami is perfect.

I have such incredibly fond memories from my four years at Miami. My life was changed by unfair teachers, peers, great teachers, and most importantly, friends. Some of the best friends I will ever have. I'm not too worried - I know we will stay friends. It would be impossible to sever the bond we have created. Despite the distance, nothing will change. We will comfortably fall back into place during reunions. Until then, I take comfort in knowing that I have taken a piece of them with me. They have changed me for the better and I can't thank them enough.

It's not so much that Oxford is the perfect town - it's simply that Miami served as the perfect place for my life to be changed by wonderful people. Now, the people have left...as they always do...and Oxford sits, largely unchanged (exception - no more Qdoba), waiting for our return. Consequently, Oxford has become the symbol for the best years of my life. I love that no matter how much WE change, the place I called home for four years will always stay the same. Now, I can't wait to visit with my best friends and reminisce on our perfect days there.

It is a privilege for me to think that in such a place, we led such a life. Love and honor.