Man Meat Monday #4

In honor of the official end of football season this Sunday, I've decided to man meat one of my favorite football players - ever. You're welcome, America.

Tim Tebow

Claim to Fame: Quarterback (back-up) for the Denver Broncos and former QB for the University of Florida

Birthday: August 14, 1987

I am overwhelmingly convinced that Tim Tebow is perfect. First, he is considered by many to be the greatest college football player of all-time. During his career as a Florida Gator, he became the first sophomore ever to win the Heisman, won two national championship games, and was named MVP in one of those games. His determination, passion, and will to succeed is staggering. He has worked hard to be a first-round draft pick and a starting quarterback in the NFL (hushing thousands of critics along the way), finished a game on a broken leg, and never settles for anything less than the best.

On top of his incredible football credentials, Tebow is quite the humanitarian. He puts his Christian faith first and foremost and was heavily criticized for wearing Bible verses on his eye black during games. During college, he spent his spring breaks working in an orphanage in the Philippines (where he was born to Christian missionaries). Since graduating, he has created the Tim Tebow Foundation, which does a number of charitable works throughout the country. Despite his astounding talent, his career, and his accomplishments, he remains incredibly humble - the perfect, southern gentleman. He helps teammates, reaches out to fans, donates his time and money to those in need, and oh yeah - did I mention he's saving himself for marriage?

As if these things weren't enough, he looks like a GQ model. He's 6'3" and 245 pounds of southern, football-playing man meat...and I cannot get enough.

Random Tidbit: Tebow was home-schooled his whole life by his mother.

Only downfall?: Uhh...he's not in my mouth right now? No, but seriously, his only downfall is that he makes me look like Satan in comparison (as is evidenced by my previous comment).

Finally, this youtube clip has absolutely nothing to do with football. It has everything to do with torture - the horrible torture I'm enduring while watching him take his clothes off. Why? Because he's about as sexually accessible to me as a Ken doll.



So, readers: it's your turn. Would you let Tim Te-bone you? ...after the nuptials, of course. ;)

Who Wants to be a Maniac?

As usual, I couldn't sleep tonight. So, I sat on my living room couch, flipped on the TV, and decided on Who Wants to be a Millionaire? because my obsession with trivia is almost disturbing.

With five minutes left in the show, Regis read the last fastest finger question. It was "Put these playwrights in order of their birth, starting with the earliest." The man who won, Richard Rosner, had the most absurd reaction I've ever seen. Not only did I spit my water out, but I almost choked to death. I can't tell if I think this is hilarious or horrifying.

You tell me. Go to 7:40 and watch until 8:40.



If I were Regis, I would have told him, "Uh...you know what? We just ran out of time. Also, we are going to have you arrested...Slumdog Millionaire-style. No, not for cheating. For the terrifying faces you just made at me. I am afraid for my life, Rick. Thanks, but no thanks."

Transformative travel story.

When I graduated from high school, I took an amazing two-week trip to Peru with my dad. I did the necessary tourist things - I explored Lima, strolled through the streets of Cusco, and watched the sunrise over the magnificent ancient city of Machu Picchu. I also got severe altitude sickness and threw up on some Incan ruins, but hey - chaos makes for the best memories...and that's a completely different story altogether.

At any rate, my dad, being the adventurous man he is, wanted to do something out of the ordinary. He wanted to push my limits and take me out of my comfort zone. He wanted to travel off the beaten path. So, he decided that we would go to Lake Titicaca, the highest navigable lake in the world, for the night. We took a boat out to the island of Uros and I was amazed to see that the island wasn't actually land at all - it was made entirely of floating reeds. Stepping on the island felt similar to walking on a squishy mattress. The island floated around while the native people fished, collected more reeds for eating (which tasted kinda like celery), and lived their normal lives. I was blown away.

After our brief experience on Uros, we went to the island of Amantani. As soon as we stepped off the boat, my glasses randomly broke. To this day, I cannot explain it. The temple just disconnected from the rest of the lens and suddenly, I was blind. After a few moments of panic, I put the remaining pieces of my glasses in my pocket and looked to our guide. Our guide was a 60-year old woman who seemed nice enough but spoke absolutely no English. She was directed to take us to our lodging for the night and instantly set off at a speed that easily classifies as my jog. I should mention that the terrain on Amantani is quite hilly, so it wasn't long before I was sucking some serious wind.

After what seemed like five days, we finally arrived at our 'hotel.' What I had previously been referring to as a 'hotel' actually turned out to be a guest room of a native family's home. I was shocked, but I soon learned that not only were there no hotels on Amantani, but there were no cars, no electricity, and one tiny shop. My mind was blown. Nevertheless, we dropped off what little luggage we had and made our way to the town square.

From the town square, the indigenous people wanted to take us to the top of a hill to see the view. I sarcastically remarked to my dad that I wasn't seeing much of anything and we started our ascent. Let me be clear - this wasn't a hill. This was a small mountain. I am not an athletic specimen (understatement of the century) and after about twenty minutes of climbing a very steep incline, I felt like I was dying. I asked my dad to stop with me. He obliged.

After a few minutes, we continued the torturous climb. Because I didn't have glasses, I was stumbling on every rock and root we passed...and I assure you, there were quite a few. At one point, I actually fell to my knees. My dad turned quickly to help me up and my wonderful response was "I hate you." I continued the climb, cussing the entire way.

Finally, after what seemed like eternity, we reached the summit. From the top, there was a clear, open view of the expansive lake and the Bolivian mountains in the background. I could hardly see a thing and I made sure to let my dad know. I was bitching, complaining, whining, and throwing myself a regular pity party. However, as we sat to catch our breath, I started to notice the colors of the sky changing.

Gradually, the bright blue of the sky turned a striking shade of pink. The sun, which had changed from yellow to deep orange, was reflected in the still, glass-like lake. The wispy, white clouds danced with the yellows, blues, pinks, and oranges. Although I couldn't make out the shapes or see anything with real definition, the beautiful colors blended together in an image I could never re-create. Without clarity of vision, I was acutely aware of my other senses. I heard nothing but silence and the rocks shifting under my feet. I could faintly smell the food being cooked for us, the visitors, down at our host family's house. I could feel the crisp breeze brush past my face, blowing my hair and chilling my cheeks.

At that moment, I started to cry because I realized two overwhelming things. First, I realized that I was a very small part of something much bigger than me. All at once, I felt both in awe of the big picture and incredibly grateful to be a part of it. I also realized that all of the hard work to get there was worth it. No matter how bad things get, no matter how ugly, how hard, how impossible things seem, it gets better. The pain, the discomfort, the hard work, the sadness, the anger, and, in this case, the blindness and banged-up knees were totally worth it.

Sometimes, back in real life (you know - as opposed to the fake Peruvian one I lived once upon a wonderful time with my dad), I forget this. I complain. I cry. I mope. I get sidetracked by the sadness, the ugliness, the horrific realities of life. I feel lonely, scared, frustrated, and unhappy. I'm stressed, I'm depressed by the news, and ultimately, I feel hopeless. Then, something beautiful happens and it reminds me why I can't give up and why I live through the bad. Without the bad, you can't truly appreciate the good.

...and every once in a while, I need to think of my Peruvian sunset to remember that.

I've got a nautical-themed pashmina afghan.

Lately, I have been obsessing over travel...or my travel fantasies, at least.

I partially blame Oprah for her three-part Australian excursion. Ugh. I would love to go to Australia and I promise it has absolutely nothing to do with the name Sydney. Ha.

Seriously, though...I've been incredibly lucky when it comes to travel. I have parents who love to see the world and they instilled that passion in me at a very early age. I've been given amazing opportunities to travel, domestically and internationally. One thing I haven't done yet, however, is go on a cruise.

I'm usually not one to 'relax' on vacation. My idea of the perfect vacation is a million museums, restaurants, excursions, pictures, sight-seeing stops, history lessons, sporting events, and non-stop action. I want to see and experience places.

But lately, I've been fantasizing about cruises. Needless to say, I've found the PERFECT one for me. It has SO much to do on the boat that I would never be bored! That is, of course, if money were no object. I need to work much harder on finding my sugar daddy.

It is a 14-day Eastern and Western Caribbean trip on the Norwegian Epic (port stops in Miami, St. Maarten, St. Thomas, Nassau, Costa Maya, Roatan, and Cozumel). This boat blows my mind. In fact, I can't quite wrap my mind around the fact that all of this takes place...on a boat. I would never even have to set foot on land to enjoy this cruise (although if money truly weren't an object, I definitely would do some excursions).

Listen to the stuff on this boat (most of which is all-inclusive):

- 18 different restaurants: some buffet-style, Italian, French, Chinese, sushi bar, steakhouse, sports bar, Japanese, Mexican, poolside, 24/7 pizza service. I might be sold right there.

- Multiple bars: poolside, sake bar, martini bar, cigar lounge, whiskey bar, beach club, dance club

- Aqua park: 2 pools, 5 hot tubs (some restricted for adults only), the only tube slide on a cruise ship, three huge water slides

- Two bowling alleys, an internet cafe, an arcade, a movie theater, a full casino!, a marketplace, an art gallery

- A sports complex: a basketball court, a batting cage, rock-climbing wall, the first ever rappelling wall on cruise, jogging/walking track

- A fitness center: with an amazing view; offers classes (if you want to pay and work out on your vacation? weird)

- Mandara spa: the works - massage, mani/pedi, facial, steam room, acupuncture, botox, teeth whitening, etc. (my mind explodes thinking about this)

- SHOWS: Blue Man Group, Legends in Concert, Cirque Dreams dinner/show, Second City Troupe comedy show (LOVE!), a HOWL AT THE MOON dueling piano bar *passes out*

- More fun: Spice H20 (adults-only dance club at night), Svedka ice bar!, Fat Cats jazz and blues club

Since money isn't an issue, let's take the deluxe cabin with balcony.

I am lusting for this trip and it sounds like Sid needs some more time to rest his little concussed head, so I think I've got a remedy for both of us.

Man Meat Monday #3

Last week, I received a request from my dear real-life and blogging friend, Emma at Legally Lovely, to man meat a musician this week. She did have one stipulation: I couldn't choose Dave Matthews. So, I've decided to choose the next-best thing and delve into my on-again, off-again love affair with...

John Mayer

Claim to Fame: Melting girls' souls and making guys jealous with his amazing music

Birthday: October 16, 1977

I pride myself on finding John Mayer relatively early. As a freshman in high school, I remember swooning over this romantic, borderline nerdy guy in Atlanta. I never thought I'd fall for something as cheesy as "Your Body is a Wonderland." Really - it's just like that annoying guy playing the two songs he has memorized on guitar in the quad all day long to attract girls. Despite my logical side, he hooked me. I could relate to his lyrics unlike any other musician I had ever heard. He seemed to be questioning his place in the world, holding on to things from the past, and struggling with a "quarter-life crisis." His voice was entrancing and his guitar playing was some of the best I'd ever heard. In interviews, he seemed hilarious, self-deprecating, and incredibly smart. I even thought the ridiculous faces he made while singing were cute. I was sold.

Three concerts, many tattoos, a few CDs, plenty of tweets, and some celebrity girlfriends later, I'm still loving John Mayer. He has certainly changed, though. Still, he puts out what I think is some of the best music of today. The lyrics to "Stop This Train" are things I've always wanted to say, but wasn't poetic enough to put into words. He even does covers better than the originals (ex. Jimi Hendrix's "Bold as Love" and Tom Petty's "Free Falling")

Random tidbit: John enrolled in the Berklee College of Music in Boston, Massachusetts, but dropped out after a year and moved to Atlanta.

Only downfall?: Unfortunately, John has a long downfall section. As much as I love his snarky personality and his sense of humor, John has some serious issues. His celebrity relationships (with Jennifer Love Hewitt, Jessica Simpson, and Jennifer Aniston) have received a lot of media attention and he has said some inappropriate things about them. For instance, he called Jessica Simpson "sexual napalm," explained why he broke up with Jennifer Aniston to the press, and called his penis a 'white supremacist.' Clearly, he's a disaster that needs some help...but maybe that's why I find him so relatable. He wrote "My Stupid Mouth" for a reason.

...and the youtube video. I can't help myself. Everytime I watch this video, even still, I sound something like, "Ohhh my godddd.....blahhh.....gahhh...holy......." This is the John I love...because, deep-down, I'm still a pathetic little fangirl...and John knows that. *passes out*



So, readers: It's your turn. Would you let John use his hands on your wonderland?

Because you knew it was coming...

...a football update.

Today was a huge weekend for NFL football. This, of course, translates into a huge day for me. Both the AFC and NFC championship games were played today, resulting in the Superbowl 45 matchup for February 6th - Packers vs. Steelers

Game 1: Packers vs. Bears

I was beyond torn for this game. Although my family allegiance and my heart lies with the Green Bay Packers (in fact, my grandma is a team stock-holder), my beloved Brian Urlacher plays for the Bears. He's getting close to retirement age and I would love for him to win a Superbowl ring before his glorious career is over. Although the Packers shot out to an early lead, the Bears battled back, despite losing their starting quarterback Jay Cutler in the 3rd quarter to a "knee injury." In a championship game, I think it would take a very severe injury to keep a player from helping his team win. The Superbowl is on the line and it would take something catastrophic to keep me from playing. From my admirable position as couch quarterback, it appeared to me that his injury was a bit exaggerated, due in part to his poor performance. Only Cutler knows just how "injured" he really was...and I'll let his sexy (yet wimpy) conscience deal with that.

At any rate, Brian had an interception, a sack, and led the team in tackles. However, his heroic efforts weren't enough to carry the Bears to single-handed victory. The Packers won, 21-14, clinching not only a spot in the Superbowl, but dominance of the NFC North, some bragging rights for cheeseheads nationwide, and a little closure after the horrifying Favre aftermath. GO PACK! Oh yeah - Aaron Rodgers and his belt celebrations are amazing. However, absolutely nothing beats big BJ Raji and his phenomenal touchdown dance. There is nothing I like more than a 338-pound defensive player scoring his first touchdown and getting down with his bad self.



Game 2: Jets vs. Steelers

Yikes. I absolutely loathe the Steelers, so my game-time enthusiasm was directed solely toward Rex Ryan and his Jets. The first half looked atrocious. The offense forgot to show up and Mark Sanchez looked more afraid than me at the dentist. 3-and-out mania. Because the defense was constantly on the field, they wore down easily. The Steelers took a 24-0 lead by halftime. Ugh. Then, I'm not sure what happened in the locker room. Rex Ryan must have lit some serious fires under people because the Jets came out ready to play. They started a nearly-heroic comeback, posting an impressive 19 points and holding the Steelers to 0. However, in the brilliant words of teen star Jojo, it was simply 'too little, too late.' The Steelers, aka the bane of my existence, held onto the lead, winning the AFC title for the third time in six years. *vomit*

So, in order to distract myself from this horrible news, I've decided to show you a little something special that happened during tonight's big game. Although I used to love Ben Roethlisberger (he is the pride and joy of my alma mater), I've come to terms with the fact that he is a pompous jerk who doesn't make the best life decisions. Everyone knows about the rape allegations made against Big Ben in the past. So, does anyone else find it funny that he got a tiny taste of his own medicine from his own teammate tonight? Hump away, Mendenhall. Hump away.



*throws flag for roughing the passer*

In other sports' news, QB Carson Palmer is demanding a trade from the Bengals and threatening to retire if said trade isn't made. I, of course, am throwing a giant party at my house to celebrate my long-awaited retirement as the conductor of the Carson Palmer doubt train. Feels good.

...and Sidney Crosby and Evgeni Malkin aren't playing in the NHL all-star game this weekend. Sid is still recovering from his "mild" concussion (who the hell labeled this 3-week concussion as 'mild?'). Geno has a banged-up knee and a sinus infection...that he clearly got from violently making out with me. For which ailment am I to blame, you ask? The cold or the knee? I'll let you decide. ;)

Finally, my little brother left for boot camp today - for real this time. I could not be more proud of him. Today felt so much easier than last time. The timing wasn't right in December and everyone could feel it. It felt so hard to let him go. I still had a hard time today, but something felt better...and I can't quite put it into words. Either way, I'm thankful we had the extra time with him and I cannot wait to see him graduate in April.

Here you go, Morgan.

...because she doesn't believe me that he's smoking hot.


Max Minghella from The Social Network. A little too skinny for my taste, but I want to be on him he's still beautiful. I forgot to mention that he has an incredible British accent that sounds elitist and delicious. He's also film royalty (he is the son of the late Anthony Minghella - Oscar-winning director of The English Patient and Cold Mountain). Let's get married, have little British-accent babies, live in a London flat, speak proper English, and sound smarter than everyone else.

Did I mention he is going to be in George Clooney's Ides of March, which starts filming in Cincinnati next month? Maybe I should find him?

Lessons learned.

I apologize for my recent lack of blog enthusiasm. I suppose this is just a manifestation of my overall life enthusiasm lately. I feel so blah. I'm still getting over my massive cold. I'm tired and weak. I have a horribly sore lower back (for some reason). My brother leaves on Sunday (for real this time). I'm still bummed about my lack of success in the job hunt. The freezing weather and snow continues tomorrow. I have a severe case of cabin fever, but no energy to leave the house. I want desperately to move out.

I don't know. I'm usually not one to complain in a public forum, but I'm in such a funk and I can't seem to shake it.

So, it's time to glean some positivity from this recent madness. In the last week, I've learned a number of things. For instance, I learned that as much as I like to fantasize about hosting Man vs. Food, it does have serious repercussions on your body (I've probably watched every episode ever made in the last week...and closely documented Adam Richman's slow weight gain). I learned that sometimes it is best to just stay asleep. I learned that the song that I'd least like to hear during a pap smear is "Beer for my Horses" by Toby Keith and Willie Nelson. I learned that there is no better way to kill time from 6:00-10:00 AM than watching Mike and Mike in the Morning.

So, as you can see, it's been an eventful few days. Ugh.

Man Meat Monday #2

I'm not going to lie. I deemed the first ever Man Meat Monday to be a huge success. I absolutely loved reading your comments. I hope to get more and more every week! Keep it up, loyal readers!

Based on my weekend activities (or utter lack thereof), it shouldn't be too surprising to learn that this week's honoree for Man Meat Monday is not only a football player, but my 2nd favorite celebrity crush of all-time...

Brian Urlacher

Claim to Fame: Middle linebacker for the Chicago Bears

Birthday: May 25, 1978

In honor of the Bears' playoff win today, I've chosen Brian Urlacher, my big, sweltering chunk of testosterone-filled man meat. Although I never could have predicted an infatuation with a bald man, my instant attraction toward Mr. Urlacher isn't very shocking. It goes without saying, but I love football...Brian Urlacher is the flawless embodiment of passionate, dedicated, defensive football. Not only has Brian been named to the Pro Bowl seven times, but he's won NFL Defensive Player of the Year (2005) and consistently leads his team in tackles. After attending the University of New Mexico, he was chosen 9th overall in the 2000 NFL draft. He's captured the nickname of 'Monster of the Midway' and the hearts of Bears' fans ever since.

He's humble, handsome, and huge (6'4" and 258 lbs). He's a family man, he's shy, and like Vince, he lives in a lovely suburb of beautiful Chicago. He loves his teammates, serves as their emotional leader, and, at times, he seems to single-handedly take games into his own hands. Since we can't just be shallow here at Man Meat Monday (HA!), he also takes part in community service projects, donates his time and money to the Special Olympics, and hosts his own children's football camp every summer back home in Albuquerque. Excuse me while my ovaries explode.

Random tidbit: He has a younger brother named Casey, who played briefly for the Chicago Rush of the Arena Football League.

Only downfall?: He has two children (Pamela and Riley) with his ex-wife and a son (Kennedy) with another baby mama. I thought that was my role.

Oh yeah - I met Mr. Urlacher in 2007 at an autograph convention and he was incredibly nice. When I explained to him that we couldn't make love right then and there in the convention center, he completely understood, despite his ravenous and primal yearning (But, seriously, he put up with my stuttering and got a picture with me).



So, readers: It's your turn. Would you let Brian Urlacher BEAR down on your tight end? ...or is it just me?

Football and Golden Globes.

Thursday, I got sick. Really sick. Then, said sickness continued to kick my ass all weekend long. So, I missed a roadtrip to Louisville with friends and a birthday celebration in Newport.

Instead, I spent my weekend throwing myself a pity-party living and breathing playoff football. (Correction: Due to my severe head cold, I wasn't really breathing much of anything.) Unfortunately, the Ravens suffered a gut-wrenching loss to the Steelers. However, the PACKERS beat the Falcons in Atlanta, putting them in next weekend's NFC Championship game! Proud.

Today, the Bears (and my Brian boo) beat the Seahawks, giving them homefield advantage against the Packers. NFC North domination. Moral dilemma: Do I root for my family's team or my boyfriend's team? Yikes. Finally, I was shocked (and pleasantly surprised) when the Jets confidently defeated America's NFL dynasty, the Patriots.

Hello, Mark Sanchez. I'm Brittany. Ms. Johnson, if you're nasty.

The Golden Globes were tonight. Every year, my mom and I print out ballots, make our predictions, and see who gets the most right. The prize? Lunch at Olive Garden. I won in almost Jets-like fashion. I got 16 of 25 categories right. I'm a media whore. The first step is admitting you have a problem, right?

So, here were my thoughts on the show:

- The Social Network dominated. I'm okay with that. Seriously though, why wasn't beautiful Max Minghella on stage with the rest of the cast and crew?

- Colin Firth took 'Best Actor' and Natalie Portman took 'Best Actress.' There is justice in the world.

- Why do I feel so ashamed of my attraction to Zac Efron?

- Boardwalk Empire and Steve Buscemi for the win(s)! Also, Jane Lynch and Chris Colfer for Glee!! All well-deserved.

- Trent Reznor is incredibly sexy to me. Not his looks, his music. He has such a distinct, recognizable, chaotic sound to his music that I love.

- Ricky Gervais is amazing. I wonder if he was offensive enough tonight to ensure that he isn't asked back again next year? Yes, he's a scathing atheist...but I bet the person who asked him to host knew that already.

- I felt incredibly bad for Johnny Depp. I wonder if it hurts worse to lose two times in the same category.

- The celebs in the audience always look like they have somewhere else they'd rather be. They rarely laugh at jokes, appear incredibly cold (Angelina?), and never seem receptive to the presenters. They take themselves way too seriously...except for RDJ...who is hilarious and beautiful.

...and there you have it. I can't wait until the Oscars!

Feeling pretty special.

Lately, I have come to realize that I have very little ability to censor myself. As one would expect, this often has negative consequences. For instance, while walking into the kitchen recently, I glanced at the TV, saw an attractive guy, and blurted out (rather than just keeping it to myself), "Oh, he's hot." Stunned, my dad looked right at me and replied, "Brittany, that's the Craigslist killer." Ouch.

Another example? While in high school, I was talking to some friends about how much I hated the bus. In fact, I refused to ride the bus after an incident that occurred in the 6th grade, in which my bus driver urged all of the students to "get in the back of the bus so we can pop a wheelie!" I may or may not have followed that story up with an unfair generalization that most bus drivers are "hillbillies." To my horror, one of my friends responded with, "My mom is a bus driver..."

I'm not proud of these moments...and they happen more often than I'd like...

BUT, I'm starting to come to terms with the fact that my complete lack of self-censorship makes me who I am. I'm not sure I'd be half the person I am today if I didn't randomly blurt things out at the most inopportune moments. I'm an open book and I'll come at you, no holds barred. I think I'd be doing people a disservice if I didn't refer to Brian Urlacher as the "father of my unborn child" the first time I met them. That's who I am...and finally, I'm starting to like that.

Also, I got a blog award from one of my very favorite bloggers, Julie (no seriously, check her blog out). Yay! Thanks, Julie!



So, now I must:

1. Thank and link back to the person who awarded you this award.
2. Share 7 things about yourself.
3. Award 15 recently discovered bloggers.
4. Contact these bloggers and tell them about the award.

7 Things about Me

1. I was home-schooled in the first grade and I absolutely loved it.

2. I'm incredibly emotional. I cry very easily. In fact, I cry when I see this commercial:



3. I miss being in choir. Big time. I sing in the shower every single day.

4. I could spend 16 years inside of Bath & Body Works.

5. You will win your way into my heart if you offer me ice cream...or cereal. By that logic, my mom owns my heart.

6. I have never worn a pair of jeans. Ever.

7. There is nothing I want more than to fall madly in love with and marry the man of my dreams. Everyone always tells me it will happen in good time. Unfortunately, I have a certain level of self-confidence issues, paranoia, and cynicism that prevent me from feeling like it will.

I don't think I even follow 15 blogs, so here are five that I really like:

Caroline at Simply Smithwick
Meagan at The Secret of Patience...
Emily at My Heart-Shaped Life
Britt at The Adventures of Josh and Britt
Rachel at Simple Little Joys

Read them. They're awesome.

Am I Right?

- Your dad has probably had a few too many if he ends a voice mail like he's signing a letter with "I love you. Dad" instead of "I love you. Bye." Am I right?

- Brooks Laich almost makes fist-pumping hot...even though his technique is a little off. Am I right?

- My mom blocked out an entire decade if she doesn't know who this is:

Am I right?

- I love The Great Gatsby, but I find it very bothersome that they are making a new movie in 3-D. The storyline doesn't even lend itself to another dimension. I can't help but worry that movies will soon become nothing but re-makes shot in 3-D. Where is the creativity? Am I right?

- Brendan Fehr looks like Sidney Crosby looks like Andy Samberg.

...and all three are delicious. Am I right?

Top 2 Tuesday.

It's time for Top 2 Tuesday!

This week's topic?

Top 2 Strange Addictions

1. Silence. I love complete silence. Most people love to blast music when they're alone, some people fall asleep with the TV on. Not this girl. I even mute commercials on TV because I cherish the silence.

2. I am addicted to Hall's honey-lemon cough drops. I know I shouldn't, but I eat them. Like candy. When I'm not sick. Oops.

Man Meat Monday #1

As most of you know, the blogosphere has countless weekly segments. Between Miscellany Monday, Top 2 Tuesday, What I'm Loving Wednesday, etc., you could easily find something to blog about every day of the week.

After much consideration, I've decided to start my own weekly blog segment: Man Meat Monday...because it wouldn't be me if it wasn't related to my countless celebrity crushes.

So, here's the lay-out. I give you my crush of the week. I give you a little info on him (including a picture, maybe a youtube clip, and his biggest downfall), then I leave it up to you. YOU tell me in comments whether or not I'm crazy. I have been accused of suspect taste in guys before.

...and the very first subject of Man Meat Monday is my #1 celebrity crush of all-time...

Vince Vaughn

Claim to Fame: Actor (Wedding Crashers, The Break Up, Swingers)

Birthday: March 28, 1970

In honor of his new movie, The Dilemma (which comes out Friday), I've decided to honor my perfect man. Tall, dark, handsome, and hilarious. Sure, his movies have gotten progressively cheesier in recent years, but I'm always there - front and center - seeing each and every one in theaters. He represents everything I love about a good, fun-loving, midwestern boy (he lives in Chicago) and cracks me up with his quick-wit, fast-talking humor. He also loves sports - including my beloved OSU Buckeyes. He gets dinner with the Chicago Bears, regularly attends Blackhawks' games, sings the national anthem at Cubs' games, and even played the QB in Rudy. Did I mention that he's 6'5" and thick?

Random tidbit: Part of his thumb is missing due to injuries he sustained in a car crash in high school.

Only Downfall?: His horrendous re-make of Psycho? Just kidding. He's married and recently had his first child, Locklyn Kyla Vaughn. Don't get me wrong. I'm happy for him, but this kinda stands in the way of the life I had planned out for us five years ago...

Finally, this youtube clip kills me. In fact, this whole movie kills me. It's from A Cool, Dry Place (1999). In it, he plays Russell, a single dad, lawyer, and high school basketball coach. He struggles with raising his son alone, working a full-time job, and falling in love with someone while his ex-wife attempts to re-assert herself in his life. See it. You will fall in love with him.

So, my friends, it's your turn. What do you think? Would you play a game of 'just the tip' with Mr. Vaughn?

Why not?

Girls love.

Bowl game recap.

Somehow, despite my borderline-debilitating Penguins' fanaticism, I made time to watch my two favorite collegiate football teams compete in their bowl games.

Want some great news? They BOTH won!

On Tuesday, my beloved Ohio State Buckeyes defeated Arkansas, 31-26, in quite the nail-biter. Despite the recent scandal surrounding some of our star players (including QB Terrelle Pryor), the boys prevailed in the Sugar Bowl....although, at times in the second half, it seemed they were trying their absolute hardest to give it away. O-H!

Tonight, my alma mater (Miami University) battled Middle Tennessee in the Godaddy.com bowl game in Mobile, Alabama. I felt incredibly proud to watch them win their game, 35-21, and become the only team in FBS football history to go from double-digit losses (1-11 last year) to double-digit wins (10-4 this year) in one year! Love and honor.

...and you thought there would be no hockey talk tonight?

Sid missed tonight's game with a mild concussion. Worse news? He will be out for at least another week. How does this make me feel?

So, in order to distract myself from his horrendous absence, I will focus on how beautiful he is.

Oh captain, my captain...

Someone else's mom yelled at me today. Oops.

While leaving the YMCA after my workout today, I passed a young kid, writhing around on the ground and screaming at the top of his lungs. It didn't take long for me to realize that he was, indeed, throwing a rather professional temper tantrum. Despite looking completely mortified, his mom was standing above him, holding his coat, and repeating the line, "Put on your coat. Do it now."

As I quickly side-stepped him and made my dash for the door, the kid bolted upright, pointed directly at me, and screamed, "BUT SHE ISN'T WEARING ONE!"

As if the death stare she immediately cast in my direction wasn't enough, here was the mom's catty response: "She's an adult. She can make her own bad decisions."

Awesome. Thanks, kid. Calling me out in public? Not cool. Re-directing your mom's wrath toward me? Even worse. If I see this kid in the next few weeks, running around and wreaking havoc on the Young Men's Christian Association, I will nonchalantly stick my foot out in an effort to trip him.

Speaking of tripping, the Pens beat the Lightning (and superstar Steven Stamkos) tonight, 8-1. Thanks for stopping by, Tampa Bay. Tonight was also the final installment of HBO's 24/7. *tear* Despite the fact that it covered the end of Sid's glorious point streak and the Winter (not-so) Classic, it was amazing. What did I learn tonight?

- Matt Cooke is smokin' hot and his adorable interactions with his kids only make him hotter.

- I still hate Bruce Boudreau.

- Locker room shots, FTW. Pantless Max and shirtless Geno? Was I filming this? No. How can you tell? I would have gone into the showers.

- Mike Green sags his pants and doesn't care if the world sees his ass crack in high definition?

- Angry Sid: Part Deux. This time with no 'stache. Dropping more f-bombs, sassing the refs. Mommy like.

- Jordan Staal is the hottest blonde guy I've ever seen. I think.

- I'm sure the Winter Classic was an amazing experience (it looked amazing with the HBO cameras), but I'm kinda glad I didn't go. Not only did the Pens lose, but it rained...and I have glasses. Bleh.

- Ovechkin celebrating before the game was over makes me angry. Also, the Capitals reacted like they had won the Stanley Cup. It's only 2 points, boys. A meaningful 2 points? Sure, but 2 points, nevertheless.

- Evgeni Vladimirovich Malkin, never leave us. Every single thing he did on this series made me 100 times more obsessed with him...and if you know me at all, you know I was already pretty obsessed. The instant he starts talking, I die inside.



I'm not entirely sure what I would do if I ran into him on the street. Assuming I'd be in Pittsburgh, I think I would hug him, start to cry, and ask him to come to my hotel room to explain to me how the Russian government works...and be naked. #hecancrashmynet

...that akward moment when you realize there's no such thing as a sexy, poly-sci major...

My own personal all-star game.

So, the NHL All-Star votes are in...and thanks in part to my semi-constant voting, it's a giant Penguins' love fest.

HOORAY!

No huge surprise - Sid led all votes. He deserves it. Geno came in third for forwards, Kris Letang was a write-in defenseman, and Flower got the goalie nod. Very, very pleased.

Chicago Blackhawks' fans voted in Jonathan Toews and Duncan Keith to round out the six. I absolutely cannot wait to watch the festivities. In fact, I'm physically restraining myself from buying $300 tickets online right now.

Let's all take a moment, however, to imagine that locker room.

For once in my life, I'm actually relieved that I don't have $300 in my bank account...or a penchant for breaking and entering...

The *pause* K-K-King's *pause* Speech.

Go see The King's Speech. Had I seen it three days earlier, it would have undoubtedly made my top 10 list for 2010.

Colin Firth was absolutely incredible as King George VI (Albert). Plagued by a horrible stammer and a fear of public speaking, Albert is thrown suddenly into his position of power, following the death of his father and abdication by his older brother. With the help of speech therapist Lionel Logue (played by Geoffrey Rush), the king is able to find both an unlikely friendship and a powerful voice in a time of great national need.

It was an intriguing period piece, portraying a key point in English history in an interesting and entertaining fashion. Viewers are given insight on the royal family, the relationship between royalty, the prime minister, and the nation, and the attitude of Britain at the outset of WWII.

If you are even remotely interested in British history, World War II (I'm obsessed, by the way), the royal family, or Colin Firth, see this. Geoffrey Rush was very convincing and endearing as Lionel and I'm predicting a big old Oscar win for Mr. Firth. You won't be disappointed.

...plus, I couldn't help but fantasize about watching it with Prince Harry and hearing all the personal stories about his great-grandfather coming from his gorgeous mouth. But, let's be honest. I'd listen to him read the phonebook.

Countdowns and Winter not-so-Classic moments.

I can't get enough 2010, so I decided to make a couple lists. What do you think about my picks (not in order)?

Top 10 Movies of 2010

The Town

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 1

Toy Story 3

Inception

Black Swan

Eclipse

The Social Network

I'm Still Here

Knight and Day

Get Him to the Greek

Top 10 Songs (popular) of 2010

"Teenage Dream" - Katy Perry AND Glee

"Kings and Queens" - 30 Seconds to Mars

"Over" - Drake

"Telephone" - Lady Gaga and Beyonce

"Dog Days are Over" - Florence + The Machine

"Rude Boy" - Rihanna

"Deuces" - Chris Brown

"The Only Exception" - Paramore

"Teach Me How to Dougie" - Cali Swag District

"Firework" - Katy Perry

My two favorite CDs of the year are definitely John Mayer's Battle Studies and Diddy-Dirty Money's Last Train to Paris. Both are AMAZING.

Warning: If you don't like hockey, stop now.

Tonight was the NHL Winter Classic. Ugh. All of the anticipation, the hype, the commercials, and HBO's 24/7 made the game seem like more than just a game, but that's all it was. A regular season game. That's what I keep reminding myself.

The Penguins lost to the Capitals, 3-1, at home on Heinz Field. Murr. Here was my gametime uncensored stream of consciousness:

- Sidney finally shaved the 'stache. Small miracle. Look at that sex hair. Unf. Ohhhh Canada is right.

- Honesty hour: I hate seeing Bruce Boudreau for even one second.

- Watching Ovechkin trip for no apparent reason on what seemed to be a breakaway was my 2nd favorite part of the game.

- My favorite part? Geno's amazing goal and his celebration afterward.

...and how he flexes...

...and how he looks in that Winter Classic hoodie...

Please excuse my fangirl-ing, but he's the best imaginary boyfriend. Ever.

- I want to punch whoever was in charge of choosing the camera angles. Why didn't they realize how utterly impossible it was to see and follow the puck? Those angles might be good for kick returns in the NFL, but NOT for a hockey game.

- Jordan Staal is back...and ready to conquer the hockey world. He was on a serious mission and I would imagine he will only get better. YAY!

- The commentator made some remark about how everyone should be excited that Sid and Ovechkin are in the same place at the same time "in the same solar system." WTF does that mean? ...as opposed to the other solar systems that Ovechkin hangs out in?

- Pens didn't shake hands with the Caps. I'm sure they'll be criticized endlessly for this, but I don't blame them. I physically punched my dad when he cheered for the Caps' 3rd goal, I cried, and I tweeted something filled with more profanity than I care to post on my beloved blog...and I didn't play in the game. So, I'm gonna guess that avoiding the ceremonial handshake is probably the healthier coping mechanism.

At any rate, the game is over. The regular season can continue. The Pens still face the Caps two more times before playoffs. So, we'll get 'em. No worries.

*uncontrolled sobs*

2010 - My Year in Review

I know I'm a little late, but it wouldn't be me if I hadn't procrastinated, right?

Here was my 2010:

January - I rang in the New Year with friends in Oxford. America watched Tim Tebow play his last collegiate football game...and probably cried. The Bengals lost to the Jets in the playoffs and I reacted dramatically. I applied to UVA and UC law schools. I was humbled by an enormous earthquake in Haiti. I witnessed (drank Dr. Pepper in) an epic Derailed bar crawl in Oxford.

February - Brendan Burke was killed in a tragic car accident. I listened to Cleve Jones speak and became passionate about gay rights. I complained about how painfully close "Who dey" is to "Who dat?" I spent another single Valentine's Day with some amazing best friends. I drank the Kool-Aid and finally saw Avatar. Jenn's amazing grandpa, Bob Weiss, passed and I mourned like he was mine, too. I obsessed over Olympic hockey. I cheered so loudly when Crosby scored the game-winning goal that the FBI tagged me for surveillance. I "Jumped Around" for the last time as a Miami student.

March - I celebrated my last Green Beer Day as a Miami student. I prowled Beale Street in Memphis for BBQ and blues. I drank Hurricanes, took a haunted history tour, ate beignets at Cafe du Monde, threw beads from a balcony on Bourbon, visited a cemetery, and danced like a maniac in New Orleans. I sampled drinks at the Coca-Cola museum and went to my first NHL game (Thrashers vs. Rangers) in Atlanta. I dressed like Mrs. Peacock from Clue at a Marchoween party. I swooned over Michael Buble and Naturally 7 at US Bank Arena. I saw Norm MacDonald's stand-up routine.

April - I traveled to Detroit to see my Miami Redhawks play (and lose) in the Frozen Four. I served as referee for an intense game of Pub Golf. I listened to Ben Harper in Charlottesville and relaxed with my two best friends.

May - I took my last set of undergrad exams. I graduated Magna Cum Laude from Miami University with a 3.86 GPA and university honors. We signed the wall at Underground and said goodbye to Piano Man. We partied hard for the last time in Oxford. I said a tearful goodbye to some of the most amazing people I've ever known. I moved back home to Lebanon. The Penguins lost to the Habs in the playoffs. I went to my first Cincinnati Cyclones game. Simon Cowell left American Idol. *sigh*

June - I relaxed in the beautiful Dolomite mountains in Cadore, Italy. I wandered the streets and canals of Venice and fed pigeons in San Marco Square. I explored the Colosseum, the Roman Forum, and the Vatican in Rome. I saw David, watched the sunset from the Ponte Vecchio, and ate too much gelato in Florence. I posed for goofy pictures with the Leaning Tower of Pisa. I feigned interest in the World Cup (and tolerated the vuvuzela) for one reason: Cristiano Ronaldo. I experienced Dave Matthews in the greatest environment possible - a massive thunderstorm. I declined admittance to the University of Cincinnati's law school.

July - I started my new blog. I celebrated the 4th of July in Columbus with friends and Red, White, and Boom...then, celebrated it again at Red, White, and Blue Ash with Yes and Peter Frampton. Lebron James took his talents to South Beach. I got new transition glasses. I watched my dear friend Devon marry Alex in a beautiful wedding. I tried to hide myself at the Warren County fair. I partied in Louisville at 4th Street Live and fell in love with Howl at the Moon piano bar. I saw Steve Miller Band, the Avett Brothers, the Zac Brown Band, and Dave Matthews Band perform from breathtaking seats in Churchill Downs. My dad retired after working for nearly 25 years with Luxottica. I saw John Mayer and Train perform at Riverbend.

August - I traveled to Baltimore for the first time to see family. I stalked Michael Phelps, explored Fort McHenry, met Cameron, and strolled in Annapolis. I relaxed in Charlottesville and picked peaches. I listened to some great music with great friends at the Lebanon Blues Fest. Jamie moved into her house in Oxford. I suffered a heat stroke and passed out at Bengals' training camp (#deadsexy). Dad and I dodged glowsticks at a Phish concert in Indiana. I reminisced on college life in Oxford. I got turned down after being on the waiting list for the University of Virginia's law school. I traveled to Indianapolis to see Nick's new apartment.

September - I spent Labor Day weekend in Oxford with friends. I watched Kenny marry Emily. I wondered where Keith was at the WEBN fireworks. I danced on tables at Hofbrauhaus. I traveled to Toledo for my first Ted Fry. I had my nose mole removed. I ate apple fritters at Lebanon's Applefest. I dug up a time capsule with my high school friends.

October - I re-kindled my love affair with Howl at the Moon in Indianapolis for Nick's birthday. The Reds made (and lost in) the playoffs. I watched my brother swear into the US Marine Corps on the field at a Bengals' game. I watched the UVA Cavaliers lose their Homecoming game. I stalked Chris Cooley at a Redskins game against the Colts. I listened to the Dalai Lama speak and attended my first Miami hockey and football game as a graduate. I laughed at Bill Maher's jokes at the Aronoff. I rocked a Penguin outfit in Newport for Halloween.

November - I rode the Navy Pier ferris wheel, ate entirely too much, crushed a girl on the subway, visited Kaytee, and explored Chicago with my best friend (may or may not have stalked Vince and Brian, too). Daniel Tosh cracked my black ass up at the Taft Theater. I furiously whipped my hair back and forth. I cried at DMB's (2nd to) last concert in Charlottesville and danced around with TR3. I drove back to Lebanon alone for a Derailed reunion complete with bull riding at Toro. Ohio State beat Michigan (duh). I ate too much for Thanksgiving at the Koenigs' and stood in line for hours at Old Navy during Black Friday madness.

December - I celebrated the best birthday I've ever had in Oxford and at trivia. I received the most thoughtful gift I could ever imagine from the best friend on planet Earth. I went to my first Penguins' game in Columbus. My brother left for boot camp, but then miraculously, came back. I thought I was dying while watching Jamie ride the bull on her 21st birthday. I nearly peed my pants in Pittsburgh at my first home Penguins' game. I celebrated a wonderful Christmas at home with my family. I had a lovely reunion with the Central Perk girls (minus Cara). I spent New Year's Eve with my parents and Jenn.

If you made it to the end, props to you.

2010 was a life-changing year for me. I lost some people I loved, I left a place I loved, and I am still struggling with the change. I traveled to new and amazing places with loved ones. I moved on after being given the "I don't feel the same way" speech. I took part in my first fantasy football league, started working out, met a ton of Bengals, and sort of got a cat.

It was filled with amazing memories, lots of laughter, plenty of tears, numerous learning experiences, some goodbyes, and necessary self-reflection...and honestly, I wouldn't have had it any other way. I'm a better person for it.

I am so lucky. I can only hope that 2011 will bring me as much joy as 2010 has!