Brittany Brag Fest.

I feel so overwhelmingly lucky today.

At least once a week, I have a moment where I realize how amazingly blessed I am. I honestly don't deserve the amazing family, friends, and opportunities I have in my life.

The results came back from my biopsy: it was negative! :) I'm relieved. Today, I had another appointment to get some bloodwork done. At any rate, I'm taking steps in the right direction.

This weekend, I'm going to Indianapolis with some amazing people for a night at Howl at the Moon piano bar and to celebrate Nick's birthday.

...and it doesn't stop there.

Listen to the amazing things I have coming up in the next month: Autograph signing with Jordan Shipley. UVA vs. North Carolina game. Redskins vs. Colts game. Dalai Lama presentation. Miami homecoming. Renaissance Festival. Bill Maher. Trip to Cincinnati and Richmond. Daniel Tosh.

I also want to go to some haunted trails, a Lebanon home game, a corn maze, and pumpkin picking. See what I mean? I'm so lucky.

Let's go Redlegs!

Cincinnati fans already know what I'm about to say...

The Cincinnati Reds clinched a spot in the play-offs and won the NL Central Division title tonight with a dramatic win over the Houston Astros.

Yes, you read right. The CINCINNATI REDS are in the play-offs for the first time since 1995.

Feels good.

Tied 2-2 in the bottom of the 9th, Jay Bruce hit a glorious walk-off homerun. I wish I had been there.

Of course, my hopes aren't high for the play-offs. I've been a Cincinnati sports fan for FAR too long. Either way, I'm very excited. The city, the team, and the fans needed this. Hopefully I'll make it to at least one play-off game!

...now if only the Bengals would take some pointers. ;)

You knew it was coming.

As per the usual, I must have a football update.

First, the Bengals. They had an atrocious win (20-7) on Sunday against the Carolina Panthers. Don't get me wrong - a win's a win, but we aren't getting to the play-offs with games like that. As usual, I'm the conductor of the Palmer hate train. Hop on board, latecomers. There is plenty of room. Palmer threw two interceptions (and nearly four others) and made a bizarre mistake before the half that cost us three 'gimme points.' Something is simply not jiving with our offense...and it better change soon. We will not beat the Saints and the Colts that way.

The Buckeyes made me proud, of course. They beat Eastern Michigan to the point of embarrassment, winning 73-20. Yikes. I have a soft spot for the MAC, but I'm not feeling too bad. Speaking of the MAC, Miami lost to Missouri, 51-13. Ouch.

The Packers played the Bears tonight at Soldier Field. After throwing myself a pity party because I wasn't at the game, I spent about 20 full minutes deciding who to root for. In the end, I put on the Urlacher jersey (because it was a home game). The game was entertaining to say the least. Despite the fact that the Packers, led by Rodgers, dominated the field, penalties killed them in the end. 18 penalties for 152 yards. Unacceptable.

Devin Hester returned a punt for a touchdown. Ridiculous. Julius Peppers blocked a field goal and pressured Rodgers. Absurd. ...and, of course, my gorgeous Brian boo forced a key fumble. All of this makes the Bears the last undefeated NFC team at 3-0. I must say - I never would have predicted that. My Superbowl picks were Packers and Ravens. We'll see.

...and don't think you're getting off that easily. Some Brian for everyone.

Top 2 Tuesday.

Taylor gave us a very tough Top 2 Tuesday topic this week. Tough for me, anyway.

I am being forced to pick my top 2 favorite songs!

1. "Imagine" by John Lennon

Everything about this song is so beautiful. The piano part is so simple, yet so pretty. Call me a hippie, but the lyrics are amazing, too. No religion, no countries, no possessions? No war, no hate. What a perfect message. This song embodies idealism at its best and although Lennon was a 'dreamer,' he was certainly not the only one. There is no better way to commemorate him than the word 'Imagine' in Central Park.

2. "Con Te Partiro (Time to Say Goodbye)" - Andrea Bocelli and Sarah Brightman

If I had to imagine what God's voice sounds like, I would say it must sound like Bocelli's or Pavarotti's. I get chills every single time I hear this song. The Italian lyrics sound like poetry coming from his mouth. This song also makes me think of the beautiful fountains outside of the Bellagio. So amazing.

I can't just pick two, so I promise I'll have an update with some others soon.

Prepare yourself for sappiness.

I'm never sure how to begin weekend update entries. So, I'll just dive right in.

Friday, Jenn, Sib, Morgan, TJ, Ben, and I took a trip into Kentucky to the Ludlow Bromley Yacht Club. Despite the $5 cover, the place was really cool. It is a floating bar/restaurant right on the Ohio River. There was a band playing cover songs, the food was good, and the weather was absolutely perfect. I had a great time with them - even though we took a few minor detours. ;)

Saturday, I went to Lebanon's Applefest with my mom. I haven't been able to go for the last four years, so it was nice to finally see it again. Again, the weather was perfect. There were craft and food booths galore, cloggers, and music. The lines were too long for apple fritters, but I have every intention of making a trip to Iron's Fruit Farm this week for some. I love Lebanon in the fall.

Later, I had my closest friends from high school over for a reunion of sorts. The reunion had a pirate theme and we "dug up" a time capsule. It was filled with questionnaires we filled out at a party I had our senior year of high school. We played games, ate, played pool, watched football, sat around the fire, roasted marshmallows, and caught up with each other. It was so wonderful to have (nearly) everyone back together again.

It does amaze me, however, how much some of us have changed.

I remember graduating from high school and vowing that nothing would change. I genuinely believed that all of us would stay close, that our friendships would survive the distance. I didn't think I could ever find anyone else that would ever compare. Only now do I realize how naive I was.

The first year, it seemed easy. We came home often, we visited other colleges, we made all of the necessary effort to remain close. Slowly but surely, however, life took over. Jobs, school, new friends, and other plans stood in the way. Weeks without speaking turned to months. Seeing each other once a month turned into seeing each other once over Christmas break and a few times during the summer. I fought desperately to stay in the lives of a certain few. Despite our best intentions, we fell away from one another.

Four years later, it seemed strange to have everyone together again. It was painful to see how strained some of the relationships have become. People that used to spend every moment together searched desperately for things to say.

When I think back to high school, certain names come to mind - those of the people who meant the most to me. It's amazing how little I know about some of those people now. If you had asked me four years ago, I would have sworn by our friendships, our relationships, our first loves. Now, not only have we separated, but we've grown apart. We have changed. Our lives are totally different. We almost appear to be strangers, strangers with familiar faces. Time is a dangerous thing.

Luckily, I realized something else last night. Suddenly, it struck me that all of this happens for a reason. As I looked around at all of my friends, I realized that sometimes, the only reason why we distance from some is so that we grow closer to others. When I think about my 'best friends' from high school, I realize that most of them aren't my best friends now. I think about how much closer I've gotten with Sib and Morgan since college started. It's amazing how sometimes, time apart is necessary for you to realize who you actually need in your life. For me, they are the perfect example of that.

Although he went to high school with us, TJ was never part of our 'group.' Last night, however, I realized that growing apart from many of my best guy friends from high school is okay. Growing up and growing apart are almost synonymous. As you grow, you realize what (and who) you need. Those you don't need slowly fade away. Only with time do you realize who is your best fit. Sometimes, it takes a few trial runs to get it right. TJ, along with CJ and the rest of the guys from Derailed, prove to me that finally getting it right is worth the wait.

I also realized, however, that some things never change. For me, the shining example is Jenn. She has been the most constant things in my life since the age of 10. I look at some of the other friendships I built in high (and even middle) school and realize that I will always be able to call them friends. Seeing them doesn't require catch-up time. It's simply picking things up where we left off. Despite the distance, we didn't grow apart, we grew together. Luckily for me, I feel this way about many of my amazing high school friends.

...and even those that have grown apart from me have had a profound effect on my life. Simply knowing them has made me a better person. Through movie nights, football and euchre games, classes, and parties, they taught me about friendship. Through first crushes, whispered secrets, hand-holding, giggling trips to my room, and blushing, they taught me about love. Through smiles, tears, embarrassments, fights, and hysterical laughs, they taught me about life. Even if the person I am now wouldn't share these things with these people anymore, I know it happened for a reason. At that perfect moment in time, we lovingly found each other...and through those relationships, we found ourselves. In hindsight, I wouldn't have changed a thing.

So, here's to the friendships that fade and the things we take from them...and here's to the friendships that last and the memories still to come.

I love you guys.

OHHHH Canada?

I saw I'm Still Here tonight and I stand by what I said last night. Joaquin Phoenix is a genius. A sexy genius. The idea is so original, the acting was incredibly authentic (I was certainly fooled), and I give him serious kudos for keeping the character going for so long. I'm so excited to finally see him in something new.

I just found out that HBO will be doing a four-part series following Sidney Crosby and Alexander Ovechkin right before the 2011 Bridgestone NHL Winter Classic (played obviously between the Penguins and the Capitals). I cannot wait.

Oh - please don't think I forgot about Sid. I'm counting down the days until hockey starts. Mmm...

Please disregard Evan Lysacek.

Also, shouldn't there be some kind of law prohibiting Sidney from sitting so close to his smokin' hot teammate Max Talbot? Maybe they are legally obligated to have one person between them at all times.

You're welcome, America. Feast your eyes on a small taste of what Canada has to offer. By the way, it is far too easy to moan the title of Canada's national anthem. Coincidence? I think not.

Maybe one day I'll care about something more than pop culture. Doubtful.

I found out two striking pieces of pop culture news today.

First, American Idol. I have been a fan of the show since season one. In fact, I'm quite ashamed by how many hours of my life I've spent watching it...and voting for my favorite contestant. I was pretty upset when I found out Simon Cowell was leaving, seeing as how he was my favorite judge. Still, I withheld judgment on Idol's final season because I didn't know who the new judges would be. Today, I found out that the judges for next year will be Randy Jackson, Steven Tyler, and J.Lo.

Sweet Jesus. I honestly can't think of two celebrities I would like to hear talk less - unless Glenn Beck, Donald Trump, Hines Ward, and Miley Cyrus count. For me, this choice has put the proverbial nail in the Idol coffin. No worries. This is probably a blessing in disguise. Maybe I'll use this new-found time on Tuesdays to do something productive for the first time in 10 years.

Also, remember that horrifying interview with Joaquin Phoenix last year on The Tonight Show with Dave Letterman? The one where he had the attention span of a loaf of bread, seemed as high as a kite, and looked like a Blues Brothers/lumberjack hybrid? Remember how prior to that interview he announced that he was retiring from acting, despite his two Oscar nominations, and pursuing a career in rap music?

It was all a hoax. Apparently, he decided, along with director Casey Affleck (who is also his brother-in-law), that he would make a 'documentary' that explored the media's relationship with celebrity. They were fascinated by reality shows and how despite the horrible acting and the atrociously orchestrated plotlines, audiences believed reality shows were reality, simply because the actors used their real names. So, Joaquin decided he would use his real name and act out a new character to see if people believed him. I know I certainly did.

His elaborate plan, filmed from start to finish by Affleck, followed his fake self-destruction, the abandonment of his acting career, and his public humiliations. The movie is called I'm Still Here and I desperately want to see it. I'm very interested in the immense power of celebrity status. It seems that celebrities are capable of making you believe (and do) almost anything. Oprah can influence you to read certain things, eat certain things, buy certain things. Peyton Manning's face can help sell Gatorade, Mastercard, Direct TV, or cell phones. Rachael Ray determines your dinner while George Clooney and Angelina Jolie call public attention to political issues that interest them.

I think it's an interesting idea to explore the extent of celebrity power and how obsessive media coverage only reinforces it. People love to hear about the drama of celebrities. Why else would Lindsay Lohan be all over the news every day? I know that I personally could do without, but clearly someone's paying attention. In the example of Joaquin's career, I heard he was retiring to be a rapper, saw the infamous interview with Letterman, and even saw a video of him falling off stage during a rap performance. All very convincing. I'm glad he decided to make a mockery of the obsession with celebrity insanity. It almost seems, without having seen it, to be a masterpiece. He put on this show, lived a fake life, for two years...and as far as I know, had everyone fooled. It's actually quite troublesome that this lie wasn't too far-fetched and that everyone believed it without blinking an eye. What does that tell you about our acceptance of the self-destruction of so many other celebrities?

I must also note: this makes him unbelievably sexy to me. I'll be honest - he already was. He has always held a spot in my top 10 sexiest actors list...but this might push him into the top 5. This idea is brilliant and makes a mockery of the very industry he works in, the media that follows him, and the audience that pays attention to him. Myself included. AND - he's back to looking dapper as usual. Delish.

NICK ANDOPOLIS! I LOVE YOU!

I've decided that there is something horribly wrong with this world...and that is that...

Jason Segel is not my boyfriend.

He is, beyond a shadow of a doubt, my perfect match. Despite my semi-constant blabbering about the physical perfection of football (and the occasional hockey) players, it isn't required.

Jason Segel is everything I want in a guy. Physically, he's gorgeous, 6'4", thick, precious smile. More importantly, however, is the personality - or at least the one he portrays in interviews. He's hilarious. That's a given. He's also talented and creative (he wrote the script for Forgetting Sarah Marshall). He plays the piano (very well), wears Converse All-Stars, loves musicals, and basically acts like a giant kid. Sound familiar?

He's goofy, loves puppets, and somehow has both a childlike and a vulgar sense of humor. He also seems like the guy you'd want to bring home to your parents - as long as they haven't seen him fully naked, of course.




Seriously - I'm sure I could put up with the puppet obsession. Ain't no thang.

It's the sweet up and down.

Today had an incredible amount of both highs and lows. Want proof?

+ I finally had a dermatologist appointment to talk about the (hazardous?) mole on my nose. It has been worrying me for years, so I'm glad I finally got that out of the way.

- They shaved part of it off to be biopsied. It hurt AND it worries me...I hate waiting for lab results.

+ I proved, yet again, that I'm a Bengals fanatic by dragging my dad to the Pro Shop for the autograph of my favorite (maybe second favorite) Bengal, Dhani Jones. I got his autograph on an 8x10 picture of him and a Bengals pennant.

- Dad neglected to tell me that my war wound from the dermatologist was bleeding. So, I made an awesome impression on Dhani, unknowingly bleeding everywhere. Rockin'. That's almost as good as passing out at training camp, but not quite.

+ I went to Kroger with mom for an autograph signing by Chinedum Ndukwe and Antwan Odom.

+ I had absolutely no idea, but Odom is gorgeous. I kid you not.

+ Ndukwe is incredibly nice. This is how our conversation went down:

Mom: I have to tell you - when you intercepted during the game on Sunday, my daughter started crying. (Unfortunately, this is true)

Ndukwe: Oh no. You're making me feel bad. I don't like to make women cry.

Me: No! It was a good cry - a cry of relief. That was the point when I knew we had won the game.

Ndukwe: Good. *laughs* (Although, I'm sure he was more like, 'Sweet Jesus. Chick's a FREAK!')

+ Tuesday Trivia was wonderful as always. Nick joined us because he's training in Cincinnati this week. It's always great to see big bub.

- We lost. Horribly. I've become accustomed to this. It is, however, a serious blow to my ego when I only get 1 out of 10 classic NFL questions right. To be fair, I must say that I never claimed to know anything about the NFL prior to 2003 AND the one question I did get right was about my boyfriend, Joe Namath. (I don't care if he could be my grandpa. Lay off.)

+ Glee's season premiere was tonight and it was amazing! There are three new cast members, Sue Sylvester is back with a smoking vengeance, Rachel is rockin' the bangs, and Finn got a haircut and looks perfect (as usual). Rachel even sang a song from A Chorus Line. I was in envious Broadway heaven.

So, overall, the day weighed more on the positive side. It usually does. I'm a very lucky girl. I don't have many reasons to complain. :)

Gleek. Guilty as charged.

In honor of the glorious return of Glee in 19 hours (but who's counting?), I've decided to give some miscellaneous musical information about myself.

1. I sing about as often as I talk. I'm not exaggerating. In fact, I used to get scolded by my parents for singing too often...or in the car during family vacations.

2. I was in choir all the way through high school and it was easily my favorite class of the day. Our choir director, Mr. Beal, was incredible and, in a less cheesy way, reminds me a lot of Mr. Schuster from Glee.

3. In high school, I was also part of a quartet that went to competition (and did very well). I really miss singing with them.

4. I tried to audition for the singing groups at Miami. Twice. Both times, I signed up, prepared a solo audition song, and started to cry hysterically due to nerves on the way to the auditions. So, I never went through with it.

5. Despite my ridiculous obsession with singing, I'm way too shy to sing in public. Throughout school, I had a number of solos, but if anyone asks me to sing on the spot, I can't/won't do it.

6. For the longest time, I really thought I would be a famous singer one day. Even still, I dream about providing the singing voice for a new Disney princess or some animated character.

7. I wish, more than anything, that I could sing a duet with either Michael Buble or John Mayer. For some reason, I think my voice matches perfectly with John Mayer's...and let's be honest. Who doesn't want to sing a classic, romantic song with Mr. Buble?

8. I took piano lessons for a few years. I really didn't like my teacher and I hated practicing, so I quit. This is the biggest regret of my life. I still play almost every day and come up with dumb songs on my own (Jason Segel in Forgetting Sarah Marshall-style) all the time.

9. Speaking of piano, I find it incredibly sexy if a guy can play the piano. Don't get me wrong - guitar is nice, too...but I have a serious soft spot for piano players. This might be because I play it and can respect the effort it takes to learn.

10. I wish so much that I had my own Finn to sing with... I know it sounds lame, but I really wish life had occasional musical numbers, or at least that it would be okay for me to sing duets with my gorgeous, football-playing boyfriend.

Wow.

NUUUUUGGGEEEEE!!!!!!

I had another busy, yet wonderful, weekend.

Friday, Jenn and I went to dinner at a Peruvian restaurant with Sandra and her friends. It was delicious! I had lomo saltado - white rice with chicken, sauteed onions, and french fries on top. SO good.

After dinner, we went to see Devil with Kelly and Cheyenne. I was pleasantly surprised. I've come to associate the name M. Night Shyamalan with bad things, and although he was only producing it, I didn't have high hopes. Still, the story was pretty good and the acting wasn't bad either. Despite its predictability, I was thoroughly entertained throughout the entire movie.

Saturday, Jenn, TJ, and I drove to Toledo to attend the 13th annual Ted Fry! Let me explain: The Ted Fry is a legendary event put on by CJ's aunt and uncle every year. In honor of Ted Nugent, the family has a giant cook-out with food made from wild game. This year, there were buffalo pigs-in-a-blanket, salmon dip, turtle soup, etc. Although I didn't try anything (I draw the line at eating turtles), it was awesome to sit and spend time with some of my best friends. CJ's whole family was incredibly nice, too. Later on, we went to dinner at an awesome restaurant/micro-brewery called Granite City. My favorite part of the day, however, was just spending time with Eric and CJ. I miss them so much.

We left early this morning to get home in time for the Bengals game...which was incredible.

I went into the game with my usual pessimistic attitude and the expectation of a loss. After the first quarter, I started to realize that we had a shot of winning it. This, of course, only heightened my nerves and the likelihood of tears.

Savior of the game? Can I get a MIKE NUGENT?! He single-handedly won the game for us, scoring all of our 15 points. Bengal-Buckeye hybrid fans everywhere are rejoicing. Myself included.

I, of course, need to mention the vast improvement in the defense this week. They held the Ravens offense (and a struggling Flacco) to 10 points. They pressed Flacco, forcing him to either throw it away or worse. Leon Hall, Brandon Johnson, Chinedum Ndukwe, and Pacman Jones all had interceptions. HUGE improvement.

That being said, the offense looked worse than last week. False starts galore. No huge passes to some of the best receivers in the league. We can't settle for a field goal every time we enter the red zone. I know we all rely on Nuge, but we won't always win that way.

Why can't we have a good offensive AND defensive game in the same week? Then, and only then, will we be Superbowl contenders. At least we're on our way. Who-Dey?!

At any rate, the Bears beat the Cowboys! The Packers won! The Vikings lost! The Buckeyes beat OU (43-7) and Miami beat Colorado State! A great weekend for all of my teams. :)

Talk of 'The Town'

I just got home from a midnight showing of The Town and I'm overcome with the instant need to blog about it.

Sidenote: Please do not let my cheesy title deter you from seeing this movie.

Despite my best efforts to remain skeptical, I went into the movie with extremely high hopes. How could I not? Another Boston criminal/cop flick...brought to you by the same studio that brought you The Departed...starring Matty's best friend, Benny? Come on. On top of all of that, Jeremy Renner and Jon Hamm, too? Needless to say, I was very worried that the movie wouldn't live up to my unrealistic expecatations.

It did. I'm not saying that this is the new Departed, but the movie did not disappoint me in the least. I don't want to give anything away (because you really should see it. now.), but I will give a quick synopsis and review.

After carrying out an elaborate heist in Boston, Doug MacRay (Affleck), a seasoned bank robber, finds himself falling in love with Claire Keesey, a bank teller who had fallen victim during the robbery. As their relationship becomes more serious and a determined FBI agent (Hamm) comes closer and closer to catching him, Doug begins to seriously re-evaluate his life, his career, and his friendships.

The Town also marks Ben Affleck's sophomore stab at directing. I thought he did quite nicely, balancing his directorial duties while simultaneously acting as the lead. Jeremy Renner, as always, was incredible in his role as Affleck's best friend and fellow thief. He has come to define (for me) the quintessential rebellious badass, pushing boundaries with no second thought. Jon Hamm expertly played his role, causing the audience to vacillate between admiration for the law and blatant dislike. Affleck himself plays the same Boston boy character you would imagine. Throughout the movie, I found myself drawing slight comparisons between it and Good Will Hunting. Sounds odd, but you'll see. The action scenes were intense, the love scenes were believable.

Ultimately, I am very satisfied with the movie. I am interested to see the critical reviews of it. Affleck deserves some credit as a highly-capable director and I wouldn't be surprised to see some Oscar nods. Best picture, best supporting actor (for the ever-popular Renner), and maybe, just maybe, best director? There is still a long time before Oscar season is over. Only time will tell.

Here is what I do know: I want need to go to Boston. Between The Departed, Boondock Saints, and now The Town, I have decided that I must make a trip...and soon. I love the atmosphere and I am enamored by the whole cinematic depiction of the city. I need to go and find myself a nice, gritty Irish-Catholic boy with a hot accent and a chiseled jawline. Apparently, involvement in the Irish mafia and a history of armed bank robbery is not necessarily a romantic deal-breaker for me. It's all circumstantial...and if you look like Ben Affleck, well...

'Let he who is without sin cast the first stone.' Right?

#notaproblem

The world is a vampire.

I'm not sure why, but I haven't been in the blogging mood lately. This is due in part to a lack of inspiration. Absolutely nothing is going on in my life. I feel frozen in time with nothing to do. As funny as it sounds, I wish I were taking some classes. I'm so used to doing being a student. I feel lost without classes, homework, exams, essays, and studying. Bizarre.

SO - I will use this (boring) entry to call attention to some people who I think fly way under the radar and deserve some more attention.

1. Sam Rockwell - Acting


I think Sam Rockwell may be the best actor today that no one knows by name. Everyone has seen him in something, but no one can recall his name. He is absolutely incredible. His acting ability is clear in every role he's taken - no matter the genre. He played the despicable 'Wild Bill' in The Green Mile. He was absolutely hilarious as Zaphod Beeblebrox in The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy. He also played the lead character in the film adaptation of my favorite book of all-time, Chuck Palahniuk's Choke. My two favorite roles of his, however, are the game show host-turned-covert CIA agent Chuck Barris in Confessions of a Dangerous Mind and the devious con-artist Frank Mercer in Matchstick Men. Check him out. You won't be disappointed.

2. Ray LaMontagne - Music

This man's voice is simultaneously the most soothing and haunting thing I've ever heard. Don't believe me? Listen to anything by him. He sounds like someone broke his heart years ago and he is trying to piece his soul back together by laying it out in front of you. This song absolutely kills me. I can't decide if I find peace in it or if it makes me want to cry. Maybe both.

3. Tom Hardy - Sexiness

Look at him. Need I say more? I first noticed him in Band of Brothers, but never really saw him in anything else. Luckily, with his recent role in Inception, he is garnering more media attention, but I'd like to see more. Just saying.

You're welcome.

Top 2 Tuesday.

Yay! Link up at Taylor's blog if you want to play along.

This week's topic: Top 2 Things I Want to Accomplish before the End of the Year

This is a tough one. There are always a ton of things I want to accomplish and nowhere near enough time.

1. Get a job

I've been out of school since May. In my defense, I sat on a waiting list for law school until the end of August. Now, however, I have no excuse. I also have no job experience and a political science/spanish degree. Yikes. I would even settle for an unpaid internship. I just need to get out of this perpetual summer funk...and soon.

2. Finish redecorating my room.

I started to clean out my room/closet a few months ago. After moving home from Miami, I basically had two rooms full of stuff and nowhere to put it. So, I started to weed through things and throw things away. This is a huge deal for a packrat like me. BUT, the job isn't finished. I still have things to clean, hang, and organize. It looks like I'll be living at home for a while, so I should start taking this pretty seriously.

By the way, Chuck Norris just left my family a message on our answering machine on behalf of the NRA. Hilarious.

I'm boring. I know.

My last few days have been wonderfully relaxing.

Friday, I went on a fun day trip with my good friend, Ben. After lunch, it was so nice to realize that, despite distance and time, some friendships never change.

Later that night, Jenn and I went to see TJ's new apartment. It was great to spend time with him and I must say, his place is really nice.

After watching the OSU game on Saturday, Jenn and I went to Newport to celebrate Christie's birthday at Hofbrauhaus. I had so much fun, dancing and singing with my awesome friends on the benches while watching the Reds win.

Today has to hold the record for the most TV I've ever watched in one day. I watched the Bengals game, followed by the Packers game, then the MTV Video Music Awards.

As always, the VMAs were entertaining. I did, however, realize that I don't like anything that is popular right now. I seem to be vaccinated against the Beiber fever. I don't watch True Blood. I don't get the creepy, evil Barbie thing Nicki Minaj has going on. I have never really liked Taylor Swift - by the way, I wish she would get over the Kanye incident. Replaying the clip from last year before her performance this year? Sweet heavens, girl. He got you nothing but sympathy and some extra publicity. Although I watch it (thanks to Jenn), I can't truly get into Jersey Shore. Eminem annoys me. Although their music is incredibly catchy, I also get annoyed by Ke$ha and Katy Perry. Is something wrong with me?

I was also disappointed in Chelsea Handler's performance as the host. I love her, but the writing was lackluster to say the least. MTV has a tendency to do this to hosts - including my beloved Andy Samberg last year.

Things I did like about the show - It was a Lady Gaga love fest. Yes, please. She's fantastic and deserves these accolades. Plus, tell me you don't love seeing her costume changes. I love that 30 Seconds to Mars won for "Kings and Queens." I also loved Drake and Usher's performances. The stage at the Nokia Theater was incredible - for me, it was the best part of the show.

I also watched the season finale of Entourage. As per the usual, it has left me hanging and completely nervous. I hate waiting for the new season to start. I love this show - and trust me, I loved it WAY before Urlacher made a cameo appearance. ;)

Two sexy homeruns and Who-Sad? Me.

Due to my lack of updates recently, I've decided to write two separate entries tonight: one regarding sports and the other about random thoughts/life news.

First and foremost, sports.

This weekend was a mixed bag of emotion when it comes to my sport obsessions.

First, the Buckeyes had a HUGE win against the Miami Hurricanes (36-24). Once again, the offense took some admirable chances and produced on most of them. The defense looked good, too. Yet again, I'm worried about our kicking team. Overall, the team looked great and it felt wonderful to beat "the U."

I'm not excited, however, about the powerhouse that is Alabama this year. Not excited to play them in the national championship game. -- Did you see what I did there? Confidence.

Although they lost today, the Reds beat the Pirates on Friday and Saturday nights in extra innings. Last night, Votto hit his first walk-off homerun in the 10th inning...and I can honestly say, it's the hottest homerun I've ever seen. Here's the proof.



Look at that swagger. Mmm...Joey...

Speaking of sexy homeruns, how about this one? Apparently, hockey isn't enough and Sidney Crosby is making small steps toward the utter domination of all sports. Some of the Penguins were invited to batting practice with the Pirates a couple days ago. Sidney 'Perfection' Crosby, a lefty, hit a homerun OUT of PNC Park. Maybe the Pirates should ask him for some help in the off-season?



Humble much? Delish.

Now, it's time for my NFL ranting. Prepare yourselves. Don't say I didn't warn you. The Bengals lost to the Patriots today, 38-24.

Things I liked about the Bengals game:

- Our offense showed signs of life in the second half. They seem able to piece together solid drives.
- Mike Nugent. 54-yards? Good riddance, Shayne Graham. Enough said.
- I like our new guys on offense. Shipley and Gresham have that college-style desire to win.
- Ochocinco made some great catches (which really helped my fantasy score!). He seems like such an awesome guy, too. Every player, including the Patriots, loves him.

Things I disliked about the game (aside from the score):

- Our defense. Atrocious.
- I hate that the commentators are still obsessed with Carson. I have been a skeptic of Palmer since Day 1. Joining the team as a Heisman winner from USC, everyone had high hopes. Despite the few seasons of redemption (including a couple play-off runs), I have always been disappointed in his performance. After last year's play-off loss to the Jets, everyone is seeming to hop on the 'doubt Carson' bandwagon. Welcome aboard, friends. There's plenty of room.
- Why the hell did T.O. go into the locker room early before halftime? I realize that chances were slim, but the half wasn't over. Why do YOU have the right to go in early? We could use our biggest deep threats during a hail mary. Ocho went in early, too - although he was getting an IV. Like I was with Palmer, I'm a TO skeptic. There is no denying he's an incredible football player, but he still needs to prove himself as a Bengal. If that means sucking it up and staying on the field until all the other player head in, so be it.

At any rate, we lost our first game of last season and still won the AFC North. So, I'm not too devastated yet. We do have an incredibly tough schedule, so only time will tell. One thing you can bet on - the ending record won't make me any less of a fan. WHO-DEY?!

The Packers beat the Eagles, 27-20. Despite the scary Eagles comeback, I still think the Packers are a Superbowl contender. Go Pack! Urlacher had a great game, too. Welcome back, lover.

...clearly my Sundays are decided for me until January.

Commence Stalk-fest.

After the heaviness of last night's post, I realize I need to blog about something a little less intense.

Today, while on Facebook, I noticed that Tebow now has a Facebook and Twitter account. This, my friends, is a double-edged sword - 1. Stalking him is now 100 times easier. 2. There is a very slim chance that he could find this blog and (rightfully) file a restraining order.

I'll take my chances.

At any rate, he started a new website and on the homepage, there is a video. Apparently, some production company called Fiction is making a documentary on his tough road from college superstardom to the Tebow-hate-fest that was the NFL draft.

Oh. My. God.

Sometimes, I feel like the clouds open up and a group of 6'4", thick, football-playing man-angels, singing Frank Sinatra songs, fly down from the heavens to hand me something amazing on a platter. This is one example of said gloriousness.

Watch it. I don't care who you are or how you feel about Tim Tebow. The quality is incredible and the documentary looks amazing (whether or not you like the subject matter).



He might be the sexiest guy of all-time. Yeah, I said it. How do you like that?

Another example of personal perfection? The first NFL game of the regular season is tomorrow and who is playing at half-time? Dave Matthews Band. (Let's just hope the Saints crush the Vikings. Who dat?)

The Buckeyes play Miami on Saturday and the Bengals have their first game on Sunday.

Football season is truly underway and LIFE IS GOOD.

Help?

Over the years, there is nothing I have struggled with more than my faith.

I suppose all of this started very early. I've always been a skeptical person. At a very young age, I remember doubting the existence of Santa Clause. It seemed highly implausible to me that one man and his tiny slave laborers could make highly-specialized Christmas gifts for every child on Earth during the course of one year, much less that he could hand-deliver them within one evening. So, one Christmas, I wisely wrote a Christmas list for Santa that went something like this:

Dear Santa,

I would like one of your flying reindeer for Christmas this year. I will let you have it back on Christmas Eve when you need it. If you don't give me one, I won't believe in you anymore.

Love,
Brittany

PS - I've been good this year.

Sure enough, on Christmas morning, I was sorely disappointed. Under the tree, I found a stuffed animal of Rudolph who played Christmas songs when you squeezed his hoof. From that point on, I had a strong feeling that Santa didn't exist. This, of course, was later confirmed by my best friend during recess in the 5th grade.

I'm not trying to obnoxiously compare the existence of God with Santa Clause. In fact, I often get frustrated with people who belittle others' religion by drawing that comparison. It's quite different. But, I have found one thing to be true: You can't believe in something you don't.

I suppose my family history only makes issues more complex. At a very young age, my dad showed me a book called The History of Evolution. It included a large pull-out that depicted a monkey turning into a man. While only in elementary school, I was taught the fundamentals of Darwinism, natural selection, and evolution. My mom, on the other hand, met with a Jehovah's Witness once a week for a bit of my childhood. An extended family member sent my parents a letter explaining that we would go to hell if we weren't saved. Still, we never went to church.

For awhile, I went to a weekly kids' Bible study with my best friend from elementary school. This event, however, became more about memorizing Bible verses for rewards than actually taking any of the message to heart.

In high school, most of my closest friends were involved in Younglife, a non-denominational Christian ministry that spreads the message of the Gospel to kids through camps and club meetings. I started to attend Club every week - partially to hear about the Bible, but mostly to spend time with friends and the guy I liked. As time went on, I got more and more frustrated with Club. It got to the point where I left in tears every week because I couldn't relate. Despite being surrounded by all of my friends, I felt completely and utterly alone.

College only complicated things further. Many of my friends went through 'New Leader Training' to become Younglife leaders. Freshman year, my best friend found God and her life was changed. I, on the other hand, felt more alone than ever. I was referred to as a 'pagan' and told that people were 'praying for me.' I found myself being pushed further away. No one talked to me about my faith, for fear of offending me (or perhaps being offended). As my friends know, I'm a natural pessimist/realist and, in an effort to truly believe something, I often first doubt it, question it, or strive to disprove it. It's one of my many flaws. This extends to wondering if a guy likes me, looking at the prospects of victory for my favorite sports teams, and unfortunately, to the existence of God.

Even to this day, I don't feel satisfied. I have always felt unsettled and had the overwhelming sense that something is missing in my life, like something is wrong. I have spent so much time and so many tears searching for the answer. Years ago, I was told that those who follow Christ will have life to the full. That has resonated with me because that is the kind of life I want to lead. I want the void in my life to be filled by something and I've often thought that the answer must be God.

So, I set out on a quest to believe. Only now do I realize how absurd that is. I genuinely want to believe in God. Most of my closest friends are Christians and they are beautiful people (particularly Jenn). They are generous, kind, loving, and understanding. Don't get me wrong - I see hypocritical, judgmental Christians, too. But, the ones I interact with most are people that emanate goodness and love. They do community service, they sacrifice their time, they see the good in people, and they want to change the world for the better. They embrace life and they don't fear death. They, too, are flawed, but they accept themselves and they are grateful for everything dealt to them.

I am terrified of death. I worry that death will be an eternity of nothing. I find no solace in the afterlife because I don't believe it exists. When someone I love passes, I mourn because they are gone. I don't believe they are in a better place. I believe they are gone. Forever...and I will be, too. I want to believe in God. I want to believe that there is someone who loves me unconditionally and gave the ultimate sacrifice for me. I want to believe that death brings true life, not oblivion. I want to accept Jesus Christ into my life. I know it's not a cure-all. I know that Christians have problems, too. They make mistakes and sin. Everyone does. I wish I felt a sense of security...a reassurance that there is something better, that our short time on Earth isn't the end, that we were meant for something more.

I just don't.

I have watched religious documentaries by Bill Maher and Ben Stein. I have read books by Lee Strobel and Richard Dawkins. I have read the entire Old Testament and plan to read the rest. I have taken philosophy classes and debated with others. I have immersed myself in the opinions of Christians and atheists alike...and I still feel lost.

I don't believe in God, but I don't not believe in Him. What others call grace, I call love. The closest thing to God for me (besides Dave Matthews - HA!) is love. I believe that people can be moral without religion. I believe that doing the right thing and loving others isn't exclusive to believers. I believe that someone without faith is capable of leading a respectable, moral, and giving life...just because they believe that others are entitled to be treated in a fair and compassionate way. Everyone is hurting, broken, and in need. I know that I certainly am. Therefore, I believe everyone is deserving of love and forgiveness. I try to live my life that way.

I suppose I'm unhappily agnostic. Many don't know what that means and confuse it with atheism. It's not the same. I'm filled with doubt, not disbelief. I'm uncertain on the afterlife or the existence of a God. In fact, atheism bothers me, too. I find the certainty of disbelief to be just as troubling as the certainty of belief. Atheists come across as arrogant, claiming they know there is no God. How can anyone KNOW about God or the afterlife (one way or the other)? I don't claim to know anything...and I don't like admitting that to myself.

I must be an agnostic atheist - someone who does not have belief in the existence of God, but does not claim to know that God doesn't exist. This is contrasted with an agnostic theist - someone who believes that God exists, but does not claim to know that fact.

I've often struggled with this: Why would a just God let murderers and hypocritical and judgmental Christians into Heaven, but not me? Sure, I sin every day. I could always be a better person, but I try to live a respectable life. I try to do right by others and right by myself. If there is an afterlife, it pains me that I won't go to Heaven. Why? Because the good I do isn't in an effort to glorify God, but rather because I feel it is the right thing to do. I've struggled with what happens to children who die before they are able to accept God. I struggle with the differences in beliefs - why are there different religions, different sects, different standards, different interpretations of the same Bible? I have so many questions of logic and there are no answers to be found.

I also don't want to believe in a God that punishes those who question His existence. I don't want to believe in a God that damns the unsure to hell. I don't want to follow a religion that causes severe homophobia and discrimination against gays. I worry that one day, I will reach the gates of Heaven and God will ask me, "Why didn't you accept me into your life as your savior?" Still, my response wouldn't be, "I'm so sorry. I was horribly mistaken." It would be, "Why did You go to such great lengths to hide Yourself from me?"

It all comes down to faith...and that is something I don't have. I'm a very logical person. I like to have everything explained to me. I'm a firm believer in science - evidence and proof. It seems to me that science and faith can co-exist - that someone could believe both simultaneously. I simply can't make the leap of faith.

So, I'm left...struggling and scared. I continue to read and do research. I haven't looked into many other religions, but I'm starting to read on Buddhism. I wait for that life-changing, miracle moment that will show me God. I'm constantly pushed farther away by fundamentalists and extremists - those who live as though they are better than everyone else because they were 'chosen' by God. Those who spread a message of hate, judgment, insensitivity, and intolerance when they should be spreading love, understanding, and acceptance.

Despite my efforts to change, I remain tired, faithless, and afraid...and I'm not sure I can do anything about it. Like I said, I can't believe in something I don't.

Labor Day festivities.

I had a wonderful Labor Day weekend with some awesome people.

Friday, Jenn and I went to Oxford to stay with my sister. I love spending time in her new house. It's so comfortable and she seems very happy there. It's also great to go back and feel like I'm still in college. We met up with CJ, Eric, TJ, Nick, Clint, and Emily. We went to Brick Street for some dancing before heading to Underground for even more dancing.

Saturday, Jenn, Nick, and I went to Kenny and Emily's beautiful wedding. The wedding was held in a small church hidden near Houston Woods. The reception was held in the Oxford Community Arts Center. Everything went wonderfully - the toasts were touching, the food was delicious, the company was great. It was nice to be reunited with so many great friends from my past - both Lebanon and Miami friends. I'm beyond happy for Kenny and Emily. They are perfect for each other and I wish them all the best.

Emily looked GORGEOUS, by the way.

After dancing like crazy at the reception, we went to Underground for even more dancing. (Yes, I do all of this dancing completely sober.) Claire came to Oxford and it was great to see her, too!

Sunday, we all got lunch and ate in Uptown park. The weather was absolutely perfect and it felt so great to be with everyone again. Almost everyone - I really miss Ben. A lot.

After everyone left, Jenn and I went down to Cincinnati for the WEBN fireworks. We walked around Riverfest, people-watching and talking for a few hours. Later, we met up with Claire and Amy to watch the fireworks. Like always, the show was incredible. The music choice was a little strange for my taste, but they used "Kings and Queens" by 30 Seconds to Mars and an instrumental version of "Nessun Dorma," so I wasn't too disappointed.

Today, I spent the day with my parents, eating and watching college football.

Tough life, I know.

Top 2 Tuesday.

Top 2 Tuesday comes a day early this week. Thanks, Taylor!

This week, we are discussing my Top 2 Favorite Things about Fall.

I'm going to assume that I can't say 'everything,' so I will go with the most obvious.

1. FOOTBALL - THE SPORT OF THE GODS!

Honestly, I'm not sure I even had to say this. I live for football. I cry every year after the NFL Pro Bowl because I know football season is actually over. Although I have the draft to tide me over for a bit, the months without it are miserable. Huge chunks of my fall weekends consist of high school, college, and pro football games. I can't get enough of it.

Here is an ode to my favorite teams!

The Cincinnati Bengals

The Ohio State Buckeyes

The Lebanon Warriors

The Miami Redhawks

The University of Virginia Cavaliers

The Green Bay Packers

2. The temperature

I know how popular this answer is, but it's true. I love wearing hoodies, the changing of the leaves, and leaving all the doors open in my house. Fall is the best time of the year in Ohio. I love Halloween, haunted trails, pumpkin carving, Iron's Fruit Farm, etc.

I'm ready. Bring it on.

O-H!

Since I drown my blog in all kinds of NFL talk, I think I've neglected my favorite college team.

Tonight, Ohio State played their first game of the season. Due to their #2 pre-season ranking, expectations were extraordinarily high. Luckily, they did not disappoint. They pummeled Marshall, 45-7...and I must admit, it felt good to be back.

As a life-long Bengals fan, I've become very accustomed to losing. Don't get me wrong - I still shed real tears after every Bengal loss, but I've also become very realistic with the prospect of defeat. Ohio State, however, is another story.

As I've stated before, I grew up in a strictly UVA-loving household. As a result, it took me a while to branch out in my football taste. I really started looking for a new team to renew my faith in college football in 2001. This, of course, was perfect timing.

The nearby Ohio State Buckeyes quickly caught my attention. Hype surrounded Jim Tressel, as it was his first year as head coach. The team only finished with a 7-5 record, but I was highly intrigued. The next year, my undying love was confirmed after the team went 14-0 and won the 2003 Fiesta Bowl...and I happened to notice a player named A.J. Hawk. ;)

I know...hot with short hair, right?

With the not so small exceptions of the 2007 and 2008 national championship games, my Buckeyes rarely disappoint me. Year-in and year-out, I always walk away feeling satisfied with the team. Jim Tressel has wonderfully coached the likes of AJ Hawk, Bobby Carpenter, Nick Mangold, Mike Nugent, Troy Smith, Beanie Wells, and James Laurinaitis before my very eyes. OSU truly does have "the best damn band in the land" and the script Ohio (with the sousaphone-dotted I) makes me proud to be an Ohioan. I love the passion in Columbus on game day. I live for the intensity of the OSU/Michigan rivalry and trash-talk with the best of them. ...and like I said, the Bucks rarely disappoint.

Tonight was no exception. Unlike previous years, the team didn't play 'Tressel ball' (a term affectionately used by Buck fans to describe his conservative play-calling). Terrelle Pryor was unleashed to take some serious shots downfield. As always, I'm loving our defense, but I'm a bit worried about our kicking team. I realize we were playing Marshall, but it felt good to see a win, especially with that kind of score. No slow start this year. They seem ready and willing to prove why they are considered contenders for the national championship title. Bring on Miami!

We will defend, we will fight 'til the end for O-HI-O!