Man Meat Monday #37

Like the rest of America, I fangirled over saw The Hunger Games this weekend. Although the age-old adage of "The book was better" remains true, I thought the movie was great. It stayed remarkably close to the book and, aside from the ridiculous, sporadic cheering from the audience, I really loved it. The casting, in particular, was pretty close to perfect.

So, for this week's installment of Man Meat Monday, I thought I'd bring you the most aesthetically pleasing part of the casting...

Liam Hemsworth

Claim to Fame: Actor (The Last Song, The Hunger Games)

Birthday: January 13, 1990 (The very first slice of Man Meat born in the '90s - we're getting old, friends)

Even without seeing the cast, I was on Team Gale. Let's be honest. There is something irresistible about a motivated, rogueish revolutionary that hangs out in the woods. However, after seeing Mr. Hemsworth, any lingering doubts in the Peeta/Gale debate were dashed. Hello, Liam. Congratulations on your face.

Here's what you need to know about him: He's from Melbourne, Australia (he has the accent to match the face). He's 6'3". He is the younger brother of Thor (AKA Chris Hemsworth). There must be something in the Australian water.



Random Tidbit: He auditioned for the role of Thor before it was eventually awarded to his brother.

Only downfall?: He's dating Miley Cyrus. I'm not a fan.

You want to hear his voice. Trust me.



So, readers: It's your turn. You'd much rather be in that cave with Gale than Peeta. Real or not real?

2nd Annual March Manness Tournament!

The moment has finally arrived for the unveiling of the March Manness results!

You will be shocked to find that, of the 11 participants, absolutely no one had the same winner in their bracket. I guess we all have very different taste. Since there was no grand winner in the tournament (and a couple people cheated a bit), I will share some patterns I noticed with you:

- The celebrities with the most appearances in your FOXY Four were Ryan Gosling (5), Adam Levine (5), Leonardo DiCario (4), and Gerard Butler (4).

- No one likes athletes...except for me. Aside from my bracket, David Beckham was the only athlete that made it into anyone's EROTIC Eight. That's fine. MORE FOR ME.

- I am relieved to announce that Justin Bieber didn't make the cut for anyone's FOXY Four.

- Every celebrity advanced out of their initial match-up in at least one bracket.

- One guy, my dear friend Max, participated in the March Manness tournament. Will Ferrell won his bracket. Another close guy friend expressed his disgust that I could ever pair David Beckham with Patrick Dempsey. (I should mention that, unlike last year, I didn't seed this year's celebrities)

First, here is my bracket:



Winner: Tim Tebow

Click 'Read More' for everyone else's brackets! I'm sorry they are so hard to read - I'm not sure how to make them bigger. Thank you SOOO much for playing, ladies (and gentleman)! Let's be honest - hot guys are always more fun than collegiate basketball.

Make me a milkshake, Malkin!

No one reads my blog on the weekend, so I'm going to gush over Evgeni Malkin a bit.

Remember when I couldn't decide if I liked Geno or Sid better? I've decided.



Chills. Every. Single. Time. He scored his 40th goal today in the Penguins' 11th straight win, becoming only the 6th player in Penguins' history to have multiple 40-goal seasons. I don't even know what to say about him anymore. His play this season has been unbelievable...and don't even get me started on his voice, nose, hair, lips, or eyelashes.



If the NHL was a spirited game of Mario Kart 64, he would be Yoshi. If the NHL was a fountain soda dispenser, he would be an ice-cold Dr. Pepper. If the NHL was an anthology of Queen songs, he would be "Bohemian Rhapsody." He is the Egg McMuffin hockey.

Beloved Penguins' radio broadcaster Mike Lange often shouts, "MAKE ME A MILKSHAKE, MALKIN!!!" when Geno scores and he's absolutely right. Geno's milkshake has me invading the yard. In fact, this is what I want to do to his milkshake:

March Manness 2012

As you probably know, I love sports. Despite my best efforts, however, I cannot get into basketball - collegiate or NBA. So, every year around this time, I fill out a March Madness bracket, in hopes that I'll pay attention to the tournament and feel invested in some teams. I never do.

Last year, I decided to have some fun with a blank March Madness template. I've decided to do it again, but this time, YOU make the choices.

I bring you - The Second Annual March Manness Tournament.

I tried to choose universally appealing (or at least popular) male celebrities. I also tried to include actors (movie and television), musicians, and athletes. You'll be relieved to find that none of my major obsessions made the bracket (except for Tebow and Phelps). This means no hockey players, no politicians, and no goofy, tall guys. Unfortunately, it means Justin Bieber, Bradley Cooper, and Patrick Dempsey.

So, here's the plan. You fill out your bracket. I'm sorry I can't make it any bigger on my blog, but there is much bigger one on my Facebook. You can print it, then take a picture of it and send it to me. You can post it on your own blog. You can even just tell me who wins each stage in an e-mail, tweet, comment, or facebook message. I'll fill out the bracket for you!

On Monday, I will post all the brackets I've received (and my own) and we'll see if there is a clear winner!

Let's take objectifying men to the next level. Good luck!



In case you aren't sure who these people are:

Left side: George Clooney, Josh Duhamel, Robert Downey Jr., John Mayer, Johnny Depp, Ben Affleck, Tim Tebow, Ryan Reynolds, Ryan Gosling, Zac Efron, Jake Gyllenhaal, Bradley Cooper, Justin Timberlake, Channing Tatum, Patrick Dempsey, David Beckham

Right side: Denzel Washington, Robert Pattinson, Gerard Butler, Adam Levine, Justin Bieber, Matt Damon, Enrique Iglesias, James Franco, Mark Wahlberg, Brad Pitt, Leonardo DiCaprio, Eric Dane, Paul Walker, Colin Farrell, Drake, Michael Phelps

Impromptu Penguin Stalking.

It probably comes as no surprise that I've been a little stir-crazy lately.

I'm always stuck at home, usually with nothing to do. My parents are currently in Alabama and then going on a cruise. I'm here, watching the animals and keeping sharp objects away from my eyes.

So, on Monday, I threw a little pity party for myself at the YMCA. I mentioned how much I wanted to go to Pittsburgh for open practice the next day, but that I'd never go alone. Jenn, being the unselfish, generous best friend that she is, heaved a big sigh and said she'd accompany me.

So, I left the gym, packed a bag, booked a hotel, and we left for Pittsburgh at 9:00 PM.

We didn't sleep very long because I wanted to be at the Penguins' practice facility (Iceoplex at Southpointe) by 9:00. On the way to practice, we stopped at Giant Eagle so I could buy some FLEURY FLAKES, goalie Marc-Andre Fleury's cereal.

We grossly overestimated how many people would be at practice (it was a Tuesday), so we were a bit early. We just sat around, waiting for the players to arrive. Practice, as always, was fun to watch. Only back-up goalie Brent Johnson was missing.

Kris Letang was cleared for contact and skated with the team for the first time since his injury.



Sid looked really physical out there, taking some decent hits from Ben Lovejoy.



Something must have been in the water because the players were laughing almost the whole time. This, of course, means that I took unlimited pictures.





I'm not sure how else to say this - Evgeni Malkin is amazing. Yes, he's gorgeous. His smile melts my ovaries. But, his skill, size, and speed on the ice are incredible, even in practice. Everytime he touches the puck, you scoot forward in your seat. I also emit sounds that can only be heard by bats and dolphins, but that's probably just me.




After practice, we waited in line with the rest of the crazed fans in hopes that a player would sign autographs. No such luck. However, we did learn (via text simultaneously) that Sid will make his return on Thursday against the top-ranked New York Rangers. I must be good luck for him.

When I finally abandoned hope and faced the reality that none of the players were going to sign, we drove downtown and walked around Consol Energy Center for a bit. I took some pictures of Le Magnifique, the new, impressive statue built in tribute to former player and current owner of the Penguins, Mario Lemieux.



We walked around the PensGear store and, despite wanting everything in sight, I escaped having only spent $6. I did take a picture under Malkin's fake stall.



At this point, we were starving. So, we had some Chipotle and headed to Day Toyota in Pleasant Hills for an autograph signing by Geno's right-hand man, James Neal. The $6 I had spent in the PensGear store was on an 8x10 picture of Mr. Neal himself. So, I had him sign it and got another picture with him.





As you can see, the trip was a total whirlwind. Pittsburgh and back in 24 hours. It will also, however, keep me sane the next time I'm picking dog poop off the floor. Thanks again, Jenn!

Morose, Mournful Man Meat Monday

If you watch The Walking Dead (or plan on watching the entire series at some point) and haven't seen this week's episode yet, STOP READING NOW!

The heart over time.

It amazes me how much the heart can change over time.

Something that would have emotionally killed me five years ago is no big deal today. Time really does change everything - you grow, you learn, you move on.

Sometimes, I wish I could go back in time and talk to the girl I used to be. I want to promise her that it gets easier, that she'd be okay, that the heart doesn't stay broken. It can't. The blood would keep pumping, life would move on without her, and, even if she didn't notice it, there would be a little less pain everyday. Then, one day, she'd wake up and there would be no pain at all. She'd ask herself when that happened, and after unsuccessfully searching for an answer, she'd smile simply because it had.

I suppose I couldn't have convinced her, anyway. Pain like that is inconsolable, a burden that must simply be endured. Whether short or long, heartache runs its course, leaving wisdom, memories (good and bad), and emotional scars in its wake.

It takes time, but the heart adapts. It really does get better...and I'm better for having experienced it.

Something to Say!!!

Every once in awhile, I actually do something fun during the weekend and I like to blog about it for memory purposes. This is one of those posts.

As I've said before, I still haven't completely come to terms with the fact that I'm no longer a student at Miami University. So, on Thursday (which was also Jenn's 24th birthday!), we went to Miami for Green Beer Day. If you don't know, GBD is basically Miami's annual equivalent of a St. Patrick's Day celebration...times 100. It has been mentioned by multiple national news sources and is complete with customized shirts, news crews running around, celebrity appearances (this year - Three 6 Mafia, last year - Ying Yang Twins, George Clooney, Ryan Gosling, Phillip Seymour Hoffman), and you guessed it - unlimited green beer. Although I don't drink, Green Beer Day also happens to be my own personal Jack Dawson. I will never let it go.



We woke up at 4:00 AM to get ready and headed to Brick Street for some dancing by 5:30. We reunited with our beloved CJ and her lovely housemates Emily and Katie for some green beer, shamrock juice, "The Cupid Shuffle," and our usual GBD shenanigans. CJ also did an impressive, elaborate Irish dance in the middle of the dance floor that had every single person in the bar staring at her in awe and recording her on their cellphones. Typical behavior.



After Brick Street, Jenn and I headed to Mac & Joe's for a bit before getting lunch (at 9:00 AM?) at BW3s. Oxford, Ohio truly is a tiny slice of heaven on earth.

Friday, we were supposed to head to Louisville for Jenn's birthday extravaganza. However, our plans were canceled with the news of the horrific tornadoes moving through the tri-state area. Although we were bummed about the change of plans, we were extremely lucky in Ohio. I'm so grateful we didn't attempt the drive during the storms and my heart goes out to all of the victims. Instead, we filled the night with Mexican food, glitter showers for Jenn, tequila shots, cake, and good friends.



Today, I went to my former housemate Kristin's baby shower. She is due to have baby Charlotte in a few weeks and I absolutely can't wait to meet her! As usual, it was wonderful to see her and most of my housemates!



Other random thoughts over the weekend:

- I've mentioned before that Sidney Crosby looks exactly like Andy Samberg. Well, on Saturday Night Live this weekend, Lindsay Lohan called Andy Samberg 'Sidney Crosby' in a skit and I still haven't recovered. Now, my ultimate fantasy is for Andy to play Sid in a skit.

- The Walking Dead absolutely blew my mind this week. It truly is the best show on television. I cannot get over the depth of the characters and the philosophical and psychological battles they wage every week. The zombies really are a secondary factor on the show. I have an absolutely horrible, foreboding feeling that Shane is going to die in the season finale in two weeks. If so, I will need more than a few words of consolation. Prepare yourselves accordingly.

- Yesterday, I saw an incredible advertisement for the You Can Play Project. I've written about my fellow Miami classmate Brendan Burke and the courageous steps he took when he publicly came out as gay and became the closest person associated with any major sport in the U.S. to do so. Since his heartbreaking death in 2010, his amazing family has continued his efforts to make the athletic community (and particularly the hockey community) an accepting environment for gay athletes. When I saw this advertisement, filled with star hockey players like Rick Nash, Claude Giroux, and Henrik Lundqvist, my eyes instantly filled with tears. Brendan would have been so unbelievably proud because his dream of equality is slowly becoming a reality. I feel so lucky to have had his influence, however briefly, in my life.



As you can see, this weekend reminded me, yet again, how blessed I am.

Are you kidding me?

I have been a horrible blogger, but in all honesty, I've had nothing of substance to say. Quality over quantity, right?

Tonight, I will share some things that have perplexed/bothered me lately in a perhaps recurring segment called, "Are you kidding me?"

- Are you kidding me, Phillip Phillips? If you know me well, you know my obsession with Dave Matthews. Ever since I saw his initial audition for American Idol, I (like many others) knew Phillip was a carbon copy of Dave Matthews. Everything about him is the same - the voice, the mannerisms, the facial expressions. Clearly, like me, he was raised listening to DMB and it's in his soul. Until this week, none of the judges had mentioned the apparent reincarnation of my favorite musician. Tell me you don't see the similarities.

Here is Dave in 1993. If you don't want to watch the whole thing (SHAME ON YOU), then go to 2:00. Dave has plenty of growly/yelling songs, too.



Here is Phillip. Go to 1:38. No, J. Lo. He isn't like James Brown. He is Dave.



- Are you kidding me, Ohio? Yesterday, the high was 70º. Monday, the forecasted high is 35º. I've lived here long enough to know that this is the norm for spring in Ohio, but ugh.

- Are you kidding me, hockey gods? Last night, in a tough shootout win over the Dallas Stars, the Penguins suffered yet another devastating injury when defenseman Kris Letang was hit questionably by Eric Nystrom. Today, he was experiencing concussion-like symptoms. With his loss, the team will be missing one of the league's best defenseman, an offensive threat, and a key component of the power play. When will this team catch a break? Unreal.

- Are you kidding me, Rick Santorum? How is this guy still a viable candidate? I try not to be overly political in my blog, but this is bizarre. How does the GOP not see that Mitt Romney is the smartest, most strategic choice for the general election? With his stances against gay marriage, contraception, and even the separation of church and state, Santorum would be the perfect candidate...for the 18th century...except the founding fathers actually wanted a separation of church and state.

So, what's bothering you these days?