I = Bad Luck.

I should have known better than to write that 'stache skit last night.

Sure enough, I jinxed Sid and his lucky 'stache. The point streak ended tonight. At 25 games. The 11th longest in the history of the NHL. Murr.

I know this has absolutely nothing to do with me, but I do find it coincidental. I can't help but feel that my 'fanhood' dooms teams and individual players. Ohio State lost 2 national championship games. The Bengals have lost in the play-offs (twice). Brian Urlacher missed ALL of last season after an injury suffered in the first game. Miami hockey lost the national championship game and in the Frozen Four the following year. Chris Cooley suffered a concussion during the Washington Redskins game I attended. Enough said.

BUT, in order to cheer us all up, HBO aired the third installment of 24/7 tonight. What did I learn this week?

- Penguins' head coach Dan Bylsma is amazing, even without the juxtaposition against awful Bruce Boudreau. You can tell he truly loves the players. He gives them chances and allows them to coach themselves. *sigh*

- It truly pains me to admit how attractive Mike Green and Brooks Laich from the Capitals (AKA the dark side) are. I tried to deny it for two weeks, but I can't anymore. Those...eyes...

- I want to have Geno's Russian-American hybrid babies. On second thought, I've known that for quite some time.

- Sidney Crosby cusses. Like every other professional athlete. He dropped the f-bomb about five times in tonight's episode...and for some reason, I loved it. Probably because he was showing some kind of emotion, rather than the boring nothing-ness he typically exudes in interviews. Meow.

In totally unrelated news, I am dreading New Year's Eve. Does anyone else find New Year's to be completely over-rated? I am sad to say that I haven't had a truly fun New Year's Eve celebration since the 6th grade. I kid you not. Unfortunately, this year doesn't seem to be an exception. I have no plans yet. Uh oh.

I apologize to the non-Penguins fans (in other words, 100% of my readers)

This is how I imagine conversation going in the Penguins' locker room after the win tonight:


Pascal Dupuis: ...and the honorary game shovel goes to 1st star of the game...SID!

*applause and cheering*

Sid's mustache: This is BULLSHIT.

Coach Dan Bylsma: Ummm...what was that?

Sid (whispering): Shut up!

Bylsma: No, seriously. What was that?

The 'stache: It was me. I'm not going to hide anymore. I need to speak up.

*Sid rolls his eyes*

The 'stache: Not only is this the first time I've ever grown in fully, but I need to take some of the credit for this 25-game point streak. I mean, really. There's a reason he hasn't gotten rid of me yet.

Geno: Because him score?

The 'stache: That's right. I'm issuing a new policy - everytime that Sid scores a goal, I should get an assist.

Sid: That's ridiculous. I don't need you. I won the Cup with only half of you. By the way, thanks for making me look like a prepubescent boy the last two play-off runs. I scored the Olympic goal without any sign of you at all.

The 'stache: Well, this is the longest point streak of your career. I should at least be named 2nd star of the game.

Bylsma: I'm sorry, 'stache. You aren't on the roster. You can't be named any star of the game if you aren't on the roster. Maybe next season, if you're still around, we can sign you and give you a starting spot on the team.

Geno: New season, new team?

Bylsma: That's right, Geno.

Sid: HA! Yeah right. More like - New streak, new 'stache. I don't like your attitude.

The 'stache: Like I said - BULLSHIT.

Dupuis: ...I thought that's what was on your upper lip...

Clearly, it's after 5:00 AM and I'm a bit slap-happy. Hey! Maybe I should submit my skit to Saturday Night Live as a prospective writer? I just watched three episodes and I'm convinced my material rivals their current stuff.

Ouch.

Top 2 Tuesday.

Hello, everyone. It's time for (an early) Top 2 Tuesday.



This week's topic? Top 2 New Year's Resolutions.

Oh boy. I usually don't do resolutions, but there are a lot of things I want to accomplish this year. I will spare you the grief of hearing the usual 'Go to the gym more' (although that is undoubtedly still true for me). I thought that went without saying. So, here goes:

1. Get a frickin' job.

Since I graduated in May, it's about time to get my life on track. I've decided that law school and grad school aren't for me right now. So, it's time. I'm bored out of my mind every single day, anyway.

2. Read more!

I absolutely LOVE reading. I used to read voraciously...and then college happened. I stopped reading anything that I didn't have to...and now I miss it.

I would REALLY appreciate some book suggestions from everyone who reads this! Thanks!!

Too bad I can't really make 'Get a boyfriend' a resolution. Ha! Link up at Taylor's blog to join the fun.

Merry Christmas!

Well, I must have been really good this year.

Not only are the Pens the #1 team in the NHL right now (after beating the Capitals in an intense shootout), but Santa Crosby left me all kinds of awesome Pens' gear.

In fact, I got a ton of really cool stuff.

- Crosby jersey(!)

- Penguins floor mats for my car

- Penguins flag for my room

- Pens socks and keychain

- Victoria's Secret perfume sampler, lip gloss, and Bombshell body mist(!)

- Slippers and mittens

- Diddy's new CD

- Trivial Pursuit card game

- A winter hat from my sister

- The Rocky Horror Glee Show CD from my brother

- Miami license plate holder and ice scraper

- A CD of my grandma playing the piano(!)

- Red OPI nail polish, nail polish remover, a razor, a toothbrush, a brush, and No More Tangles (because I'm still 12 years old)

- A Marine Corps shot glass

- Lotto tickets (I WON $11!!!)

- Cash and fast food gift cards

As you can see, Santa Crosby did a wonderful job this year. Unfortunately, he forgot to leave himself (and his faithful wingman), completely naked, under the tree. Since 'nice' behavior clearly didn't work, maybe I should try the 'naughty' route next year?

Most importantly, however, I got to spend yet another wonderful Christmas with my amazing family. We all thought we would be celebrating without LP this year, so his smiling face is the biggest Christmas present of all!

I hope your day is filled with peace, happiness, joy, and love. Merry Christmas!!

Typical Christmas Eve Goings-On.

I'm very happy to announce that my pre-Christmas festivities have been very entertaining.

Last night, I went to a fun Christmas sweater party. Of course, I was the only loser who didn't dress up...

...and there may have even been mistletoe involved.

Tonight, the Johnson family had our usual Christmas Eve fondue dinner. This year, Dad made potato and squash casserole, homemade mac & cheese, and roasted brussel sprouts to go with the steak. Delicious.

After dinner, we watched The Town, played some euchre, iced each other, and transformed me into Harry Potter.

Like I said, typical.

A whole lot of nothing.

Tonight, absolutely nothing has struck me as particularly blog-worthy. Unfortunately, I am plagued by this looming sense of obligation - I feel obligated to post an entry every weeknight. So much for high-quality, riveting entries, eh?

At any rate, you are in for a real treat tonight. Why? Because I came across a website called Cats that look like Hitler. They are affectionately called Kitlers, of course.


Yes, friends. This actually exists. I am convinced that nearly every fathomable concept exists, somewhere on the internet.

Do you want further proof? How about Putting Weird Things in Coffee? Or what about Goths in Hot Weather? I'm not kidding. If you can think it, I bet you can find it.

...and, on a completely unrelated note, the Pens won tonight (5-2 against the Florida Panthers). HBO also showed its second installment of 24/7. Aside from my usual loathing of the Washington Capitals, Alex Ovechkin, and their coach, three specific things struck me in this episode.

1. During post-game footage of the Monday night game I attended, Geno gave a little locker room speech. In this speech, he used the sentence, "It's us game." Now, Geno has a perfect excuse. He has come a LONG way and has learned an incredible amount of English in his few years here. That being said, I would like to take this opportunity to extend an invitation to Mr. Malkin for some free personal English tutoring. Those of you who read my blog regularly might remember when I offered to teach Brian Urlacher the 8 parts of speech. I think I can be a very effective, hands-on teacher that provides a little something more than Rosetta Stone. Just saying. ;)

2. Mike Green of the Capitals drives a Vespa...in loafers. Yep.

3. This.


http://www.genoishung.com/iwanttobeonyou

Oh, look at that. A website that DOESN'T exist...yet.

But seriously, this picture makes me feel like:



Thank you, HBO.

#Brittsburgh.

Yesterday, Mom and I left early for our over-night trip to Pittsburgh. When we got there, we walked around the Strip District, exploring random shops and markets. I was accosted with so much Steelers merchandise that I thought I might throw up. Luckily, we stopped in the Dick's official store of the Winter Classic, where I was immediately immersed in Penguins everything.

Including this.

Sidenote: This is the most GQ-esque pose I've ever seen Sid do. The workers are lucky that I only took a picture of/with it. They can thank the presence of my mom for that.

We stopped in Primanti Bros. for their famous over-stuffed sandwiches. We ordered the cheesesteak sandwich (with fries and cole slaw on top, of course) and loaded fries. I must admit - I was underwhelmed with the food. It was more than I could finish, but it didn't taste that great. I have had WAY better stuffed sandwiches in Columbus and Chicago.

After eating, we made our way to Consol Energy Center for the Penguins vs. Phoenix Coyotes game. I could not contain my excitement. The arena is absolutely amazing. It is humongous, the seats are roomy and comfortable, and the quality of the jumbotrons is astounding. I nearly peed my pants when I saw how good our seats were. Unlike in Columbus, I could actually see their faces.

I took one million pictures. Geno scored two goals (and had three assists), Sid had a goal and two assists (extending his point streak to 21 games), and Kris Letang, Matt Cooke, and Chris Conner each scored goals. I was in my glory. Flower played a great game, making some incredible saves.

Flower was 3rd star of the game, Sid was 2nd star, and Geno was 1st star! Here is an interview with him that I recorded in between periods:

Words cannot explain how much I wish he lived in my room. The only way the game could have been better is if Geno had gotten the hat trick and we conceived our first child together in a post-game shower.

After the game, I reluctantly left the arena to watch the end of the Bears vs. Vikings game. The Bears won handily, making them the NFC North champs! Go Brian boo! :)

Today, we woke up early to stalk. However, after a quick circle of the Arena, I sadly deemed it impossible to find any of the Pens. So, instead, we went to Station Square for some shopping. After perusing the mall, we went up the Monongahela Incline for a beautiful view of Pittsburgh. It was beautiful, indeed.

After riding back down the mountain, we ventured to Dormont for some amazing hotcakes at Dor-Stop. Seriously, I got pumpkin hotcakes and didn't even want syrup for them. If you're ever in the area, GO THERE.

Then, with two kisses blown in the direction of Consol Energy Center, we left Pittsburgh. So, as you can see, the trip was quick but absolutely amazing. I even got a cute, free Pens hat at the game. That's fine by me - just another article of clothing for Sid and Geno to passionately and haphazardly toss to the floor.

You thought I was obsessed before? Look out.

Johnson family Christmas cookies.

Tonight, the Johnson family (and friends) decided to decorate Christmas cookies.

My sister, clearly the most artistically talented of the three kids, made an awesome snowman.


LP, who was partially forced to decorate at least one cookie before getting back to the Packers and Patriots game, made a football. Sort of.


I, of course, had celebrity-related aspirations for my cookies.


I put a lot of work into these Penguins. They are wearing their Winter Classic jerseys. Staal has blonde hair and no skates due to injury. Letang has longer hair than the rest. Come on, people. It's in the details.

My mom suggested that I bring the Crosby cookie to Pittsburgh tomorrow and give it to Sid. I'm sure that would win him over - just like my Urlacher cookie from Christmas '07 worked on Brian.


At any rate, it was a cookie-making success. The only downside? We don't want to eat them now!

Pfaff turns 21. Finally.

Since last night evades accurate description, I will give you a pictorial run-through.

The birthday girl pre-gamed.

She blew out candles...

...on her awesome cheesecake.

She hung out with amazing friends. ;)

In Newport, she met some other friends at Bulldog's.

She posed with randos in front of a fire truck.

She drank birthday shots.

She danced on tables at Toro...

...and got scolded for doing so.

She bowled...poorly.

BUT, most importantly, she rode the bull. Hilarity ensued.

I must admit - this birthday felt like a celebration for me, too. Jamie finally turning 21 means that I'm no longer a slave or a criminal. Hooray!

Be still, my heart.

I'll see YOU on Monday.

For now, I'm going to Newport to celebrate my sister's 21st birthday. Legendary? You know it.

To cheer myself up.

...and you thought you were going to go one day without a post almost entirely dedicated to Sid? Fat chance.

Fast forward to 1:45.



I'm not sure why this melts my heart. He is from Canada. I can't even tell what he's saying, but I can tell that his accent isn't great. I also know that he is considerably younger than me in this clip. None of this, of course, is stopping me from swooning away.

Still - I would like to share with him the bit of French that I have perfected:

Voulez-vous coucher avec moi ce soir?

It's like a 'Pick Your Own Adventure' book...only it's my life!

I feel like I'm taking crazy pills.

Lately, my joblessness has combined with the depressing weather and my bizarre sleeping schedule to create a trifecta of blubbery winter sadness.

I won't venture to say that I'm experiencing a bout of Seasonal Affective Disorder, but seriously...I'm in a funk. A non-Christmas funk.

I'm struggling to figure out what I want to do with my life. There is one thing, however, that I do know: it's not this.

So, if you don't mind, I will think out loud:

My ideal jobs: Professional blogger. Movie critic. Traveling journalist. Sport blogger (for a specific team). Football commentator. The voice for a new Disney princess. Personal masseuse for Sidney Crosby, Brian Urlacher, Evgeni Malkin, Tim Tebow, etc.

Okay. So. We can immediately eliminate the last two options. Bummer.

All of this seems highly unrealistic. Not that I can't do it. I can. I have enough confidence in my writing ability and my understanding of movies, travel, and sports. I honestly believe I write things worth reading.

Here's the rub. I have absolutely no connections. I live in rural southwestern Ohio. I could write for our local newspaper (maybe), but that's not a living...and it's not what I want.

So, to channel my inner Lebron James, what should I do? Should I go to law school (even though I have little to no interest in it) and make the money necessary for travel and Bengals' season tickets? What should I do? Should I go to graduate school - and if so, what should I go for? Should I move and try somewhere new? Should I get another job (one I don't want) and write on the side? What should I do? Should I give up on my unrealistic dreams and settle for some financial stability?

I know the answer to the last question is no. I know all the cliche phrases - Dream Big. Happiness is more important than money. No dreamer is ever too small; no dream is ever too big. Got it. But, you know what is too big? The list of names who want the same amazing jobs that I do.

I wish I had an 'in' with the Bengals or the Penguins franchises. I wish I had a connection with a major newspaper, a magazine, a popular travel or movie website. Unfortunately, wishing these things won't change my situation. So, I'm stuck thinking.

I know I can do it. I just don't know where to start.

Trivial Tuesday.

Ugh. This is our first Glee-less Tuesday, but I do have some more trivial Tuesday stuff for you. No worries.

- Is anyone else creeped out by the new Yogi Bear movie coming out? I cannot watch the preview without cringing. Shit's getting weird in Jellystone Park.

- I'm so over the Steelers and the Patriots. They are the closest thing the NFL has to a dynasty and I'm just done. Not only do both teams eliminate any real sense of competition in the AFC, but I'm sick of seeing them win. Yes, they are good (or in the Patriots' case - great)...but please, give someone else a chance in the spotlight.

- Speaking of the Patriots, Tom Brady needs a haircut. I know this is old news, but if you could look like this...

...why would you choose to look like this?

- I watched my first real UFC fight on Saturday, Georges St. Pierre (GSP) vs. Josh Koscheck. It broke my heart. Koscheck, the decided villain and underdog, had no real shot of winning that fight...especially after one of his eyes called TKO.

Apparently, GSP and Koscheck were opposing coaches on this season of The Ultimate Fighter, a reality show/competition to the find the best UFC fighters. I'm a little confused by this idea. I'm pretty sure a show already exists in which guys fight each other in order to determine the best fighter. I'm also pretty sure that show is called any UFC fight.

- The Pens lost tonight to the Flyers (3-2), breaking their 12-game winning streak. Alas, Geno returned to the ice with a vengeance (he scored both goals) and Sid kept his 19-game point-scoring streak alive with a couple of assists. Of course, whenever Sid touched the puck, a chorus of boos filled the Flyers' arena. That's alright - he's still a multi-millionaire, Canadian hero, leading the league in points and goals.

Hi haters.

- Most importantly, my little bub is still home (for the time being)! I thought I was having a dream when he came into my room yesterday and gave me a hug. He had already left and spent the night in Columbus with the rest of the recruits, so we thought he was gone. Apparently, there was an issue with the paperwork and he is now leaving in January. I feel bad for him because he has to mentally prepare himself all over again. I also don't want to say goodbye again...but I can't really complain. Now, I get to spend Christmas, his birthday, and New Year's with him! Small miracles.

Long Overdue Top 2 Tuesday.

It has been a LONG time since I've taken part in Taylor's Top 2 Tuesday, but this topic is awesome - so here goes.

Top 2 Favorite Games (board, card, video, etc.)

1. Euchre

This is, without a doubt, the game I have spent the most time playing. My best friends in high school taught me and it has become a stand-by when trying to pass the time. We played countless games at Derailed and while waiting in line at the Goggin for Miami hockey games.

2. Mafia

If you've never heard of Mafia, do yourself a huge favor and look it up. I absolutely love this game because it requires strategy and alliances. It requires debate, persuasion, and a certain amount of acting. Some of my fondest memories come from Mafia games in Lebanon and Oxford at ungodly hours of the night.

I'm actually a giant 10-year-old, so it was really hard to narrow this down. Honorable mentions include: Mario Kart 64, Mario 64, Clue, and Kemps. I also struggled over whether or not to count Bump/Bang/Bride as a game...then decided that since there are no cards or competition, it isn't a game.

My Marine.

Today was harder than I thought it would be.

After a huge, crazy goodbye party on Friday night (complete with lots of friends, a keg, and a Redbull car!) and a pay-per-view UFC fight on Saturday, we finally had to face the facts today. LP was leaving.

This morning, it hit me like a ton of bricks. My little brother was actually leaving for boot camp. He shaved his beard and I started crying.

Since I've been home from school, LP has been my hang-out buddy. While everyone else was at work or school, LP and I would watch TV and talk football. He always had a friend (or five) over and they constantly cycled in and out of our house like a cheap motel. Now, it's dead silent.

I've been asked a few times how I could be so close to my little brother. I never really know how to answer that question. I don't understand how anyone could NOT be close with LP. He is one of the most strikingly friendly, hilarious, handsome, and lovable people I have ever met.

He is quite the partier and ladies' man. It's no surprise that everyone wants to have him around to have a good time (which, of course, results in trouble on occasion). He playfully makes fun of me, he makes me laugh, and he hugs me when I have lost faith in all boys but him. He keeps me company, teaches me about video games, and makes me proud to be his sister every single day.

But this isn't new. He enlisted in the Marine Corps to make something of himself. To give himself a kick start. To give himself a future. To make himself into something great. He's always been great in my eyes.

It's funny - although he is three years younger than me, I've always had the feeling that somehow he was the one protecting me. Now, I'm sure of it.

I felt like a piece of my heart was being torn out today as I hugged him for the last time. Despite his tears, he looked at me, touched my cheek, told me to "Be good," and winked. I didn't know what to say, couldn't find the words, so I told him to do the one thing he's always done without even trying: "Be great."

I'm so unbelievably proud of my little brother, my Marine. He graduates from boot camp in March and will be home for 10 days. I can't wait. Until then, please keep him in your thoughts or prayers. I LOVE YOU, LP!

A very merry Christmas Glee-cap!

I'm usually a sucker for all things Christmas-related...but this year, I haven't been feeling very festive...

...until GLEE saved me. Again.

- I absolutely hated the first song they sang, "The Most Wonderful Day of the Year" from Rudolph. I get the obvious comparison between the unwanted, misfit toys and the goofy, unpopular glee kids, but come on. Cheese central. I was nervous that the rest of the episode would be like this. Thankfully, it wasn't.

+ Brittany still believes in Santa. Not only does this make perfect sense, but it allowed for a very cute, moving plotline to unfold. Also, please tell me she actually wears those pajamas to bed every night.

- If the producers of Glee wanted an overweight, bespectacled girl who can sing and is driven mainly by her infatuation with Noah Puckerman, why didn't they cast me? Seriously.

+ Kurt and Blaine singing "Baby, It's Cold Outside" was my favorite part of this episode. Swoon. Blaine is gorgeous, both have amazing voices, and I love this song, anyway. I also love the idea of it all. We are watching a TV show with two gay characters flirting and it's totally accepted. FINALLY. I was secretly hoping that mistletoe would descend from the ceiling, forcing them to kiss. Way to ruin it with your inopportune entrance, Schue. Typical.

+ King's Island reference! I love that Glee takes place in Ohio. They have mentioned the Reds, the Bengals, and King's Island now. Unfortunately, King's Island no longer has a Christmas spectacular, but I'll let it slide. ;)

- Rachel desperately trying to win Finn back breaks my heart. I'm still bitter over their untimely breakup (I mean - breaking up on my birthday week?!). I didn't like her solo song with the over-the-top snow and orchestra, but that's typical Rachel. I did, however, love their Wham! duet at the Christmas tree farm. ...he's so beautiful in his snow vest, looking for a Christmas tree. Ugh.

+ The whole Sue/Grinch parody. How the Grinch Stole Christmas is a Christmas staple in the Johnson household, so I loved this. Mostly that Becky was the one-antlered dog, Sue slid around on her stomach Grinch-style, and Brittany was a perfect Cindy Lou Hoo.

- Who sang "You're a Mean One, Sue the Grinch?" I can't tell.

+ Bieste. She warms my heart. She organized the Secret Santa faculty gift exchange, she goes to Brittany as Santa, she buys the machine to help Artie walk. Bieste is the perfect complement to evil Sue.

- Why are Rachel and Puck so pumped for Christmas? Well, I know Rachel's just doing it to impress Finn (pathetic)...but she did say she asked for him last Christmas. Well, if he's available this year, maybe I should give it a try? Also, Puck is overwhelmingly Jewish - singing songs by only Jewish artists, being nice to only Jews? What is going on here? On the opposite end of the spectrum, I'm not digging this uber-festive Finn. His fervent Christmas do-gooder attitude is sort of a turn-off. Just me?

- Is anyone else annoyed by Quinn's voice? Don't get me wrong. It's not bad. She hits all the right notes, but it sounds like her nose is plugged. Everyone might get tired of Rachel singing, but there is a reason why she gets the solos. ;)

- When Artie was trying to find ways to walk last time (you know, with Tina), why didn't he find this walking machine? If the glee club knew about it, they would have raised the money to buy it for him. I mean, they did raise the money to build a ramp in the auditorium.

+ The episode ended with a typical, feel warm and fuzzy inside moment. Sue is being nice (for the time being) while still tying in insults geared toward Will's hair. All the kids choose to spend Christmas Eve with Schue. Finn even sorta smiles at Rachel. Believe me, that smile will have me grasping at every remaining bit of Finnchel.

Overall, I loved the episode. It left me smiling, excited, and feeling Christmas-y. Unfortunately, gleeks must wait until February 6th for the next episode (post-Superbowl). Luckily, there will be two episodes that week (one Sunday, one Tuesday)...because I'm gonna need a double dosage after an 8-week break!

Clarity.

Don't worry, fellow Gleeks. I will have the Christmas glee-cap (thanks Jenn!) posted tomorrow night.

...but tonight, I'm feeling odd. In fact, I've felt unsettled for a little while now. I think it mostly has to do with living back at home, coming to terms with no more college, trying to figure out what I'm doing with my life, and saying goodbye to my brother.

At any rate, I've been thinking about clarity. Understanding and the pristine calm that it brings. Every now and then, I have these eye-opening moments of incredible peace. They always come when I least expect it. It comes when I need it most. It comes despite tears, laughter, anger, or fear. It comes in moments of extreme emotion, but sometimes, it comes in the beauty of the most ordinary, insignificant occurrence.

It comes from nervous, whispered giggles with your brother and sister on Christmas Eve. It comes from sharing your brother's bed and eagerly predicting what Santa will bring. It comes from hearing Santa's sleigh bells outside the window and accidentally falling asleep hours later, after vowing to keep a vigilant watch out the window.

It comes from earth-shattering news from your tortured mom. It comes from running to your room, slamming the door, and listening to your sobs gradually become screams. It comes from sliding down the door and onto the floor because the gut-wrenching sadness has caused your knees to buckle. It comes from a combination of disgust and betrayal, but ultimately, it comes from the painful realization that your parents are human, too.

It comes from the smell of the mud, the sound of the rain, and the heat of the pavement. It comes from six tiny, outstretched hands being filled with shampoo. It comes from spinning in circles, eyes closed and covered in soap suds as your mom washes your hair in the rain.

It comes from a bottom bunk in an overcrowded, college dorm room. It comes from silent tears and lying there with your best friend. It comes from numbly watching the Clay-mation figures of Santa Clause is Coming to Town and pretending your grandfather didn't die hours earlier. It comes from the stinging regret of being states away from his bedside and your grieving grandmother.

It comes from stopping your car in the middle of Jack Road and getting out to admire a breath-taking sunset. It comes from breathing deeply, feeling the breeze, and watching the oranges, yellows, pinks, and reds dance above the swaying golden cornstalks. It comes from being so overwhelmed by the beauty that you start to cry because for the first time in a long time, you feel alive.

It comes from muffled gasps of ecstasy and biting your bottom lip so hard that it draws blood. It comes from the bright light of the church across the street, illuminating your otherwise dark room and casting shadows on him. Shadows that move as he moves, rhythmically yet urgently, focused but nervously. It comes from the coolness of the sheets contrasted with the comforting heat from his body, covering yours completely and showing you love.

It comes from lying in the midnight grass, anxiously awaiting a summer thunderstorm. It comes from a momentary breeze that breaks up the monotony of the stifling mugginess. It comes from the chirping of crickets, the moan of a bullfrog. It comes from watching the stars, the fireflies, and the lightning in the distance, and after a few peaceful minutes, forgetting which is which.

I am overwhelmed by the peace that comes with these moments of clarity. Suddenly, everything makes sense. Everything comes together in one beautiful, unexplainable moment of clarity and I understand. Then, as quickly as it comes, it's gone again and I'm left, incomplete, searching, asking unanswerable questions. I feel the same as before, but somehow different.

I am changed by these moments. I carry them with me - like invisible scars. They alter me fundamentally and remind me of who I was, explain who I am, and show me who I will be. I feel connected with everything and everyone around me and I am better because of it. I am no better than anyone or anything. I briefly see that we are one and the same, experiencing the same emotions and making our own separate ways through the same remarkable fairy tale. I am truly grateful to be alive and in awe of life's simple, yet complex, beauty.

I struggle to recreate these perfect moments, but I never can. Still, I feel content with the knowledge that some things won't make any sense...until they do.

NHL Winter Classic Preview?

Oh yeah - I almost peed my pants when they showed the NHL Winter Classic commercial during the Steelers vs. Ravens game tonight.

I may or may not have rewound it 10 times.

I may or may not have found it online already.

I may or may not have paused and print-screened something for your viewing pleasure. I'm going to try to keep it PG-13...but seriously - inside, I'm like...THOSE LIPS!!! AHHH!!! ADAM'S APPLE!!!! AHHH!!! then something horribly raunchy about stick-handling and sticking it in the five-hole... (For the non-hockey fans: the 'five-hole' is a nickname for the area between a goalie's legs)

I must admit - I feel bad for Sid and Ovie for a number of reasons. Many non-hockey fans sum up the entire league by merely mentioning those two names. That puts them under a little bit of pressure. The media, of course, has created this rivalry between the two players...and that rivalry has created the whirlwind of excitement surrounding the Winter Classic.

That being said, there ARE other players on the teams. Surprise! I hope 24/7 isn't 100% focused on the two headlining superstars. (Although I wouldn't mind a TV channel completely dedicated to Sidney Crosby coverage)

I also REALLY hope that the Penguins win the game. The Capitals are having a great season, but so are the Pens. AND, if you really want me to focus solely on the Sid-Ovie comparison, Sid has outplayed Ovechkin thus far. At this moment in time, despite my obvious bias, I think it's fair to say that Sid IS the best hockey player in the league (and certainly the one most crucial to his team). I just hope that on the national stage, when so many non-followers are actually watching the game, Sidney and the rest of the Penguins get the credit they deserve.

Taken from the January 2011 issue of Vanity Fair

...plus, I'm sick of having the Crosby/Ovechkin argument with people. Let's finally put it to rest. ;)