Grammar police SAY WHAT?!

I know how this post sounds - snobby, pretentious, and trivial. You're probably right.

However, it is my blog and I have some pet peeves to address. So, read on and perhaps be enlightened.

Some of you already know that I'm a stickler for grammar. I probably should be an editor. Today, I heard someone (who will remain nameless) say the following sentence: "I could of cared less." I have two issues with this.

1. The phrase itself. Saying that you could care less implies that you do care to an extent (or that there is a scenario in which you could care less about that issue). However, when people use this phrase, they are trying to express how little they care about something. Saying they could care less shows that they do care...and has the opposite effect.

The proper phrase? "I could not care less." This implies that you care so little about the issue that you can't be any more disinterested in it.

For example, "I could not care less about Brett Favre's diva-like behavior."

2. The use of 'of' rather than 'have.' You say that you could have done something, not could of. Could have, should have, would have. In this tense, those two words are inseparable. That's it. No exceptions. The only time you can put the words 'could' and 'of' next to each other is when they are part of different grammatical elements.

For example, 'Brittany tried to steal all she could of Tim Tebow's decency." In this sentence, I am doing everything I can to corrupt Tim Tebow and penetrate his moral fortress. The sentence could be complete after the word 'could,' but I use the word 'of' to show what I'm stealing. See the difference?

I understand why people confuse 'could have' and 'could of.' When you use the contraction 'could've,' it sounds an awful lot like 'could of.' BUT - it's not.

So, in sum, I'm a psycho...and I now realize that most of you could not have cared less about this entry. ;)