Three months in five minutes.

Hi, everyone. I'm Brittany and I have a blogging consistency problem.

Once upon a time, I actually blogged with regularity. It seems impossible to believe, given my track record the last couple years. Nevertheless, here I am and I've made it my personal goal to finish blogging about our trip to Spain. You know, before a year has elapsed since the trip...

Fun fact: I never even blogged about my own wedding. Oops.

First, I'll catch you up on life in general. Baby steps, folks.

Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Year happened. My whole family celebrated Thanksgiving together a week early, but it was a welcome change to have all of us crowded around the dinner table. With my sister in Arizona and Wheat in Texas, Christmas was tamer than usual. Still, it was glorious to have a week at home in Ohio with family and friends. New Year was spent in our typical fashion, with me and Wheat staying in and making fun of the painfully awkward ball-dropping telecast.

Christmas REALLY happened. I didn't really mean to, but I went hard on the Christmas festivities this year. My mom and I explored the Christmas Ranch in Ohio. Wheat and I attended a friend's Christmas cocktail party. We admired the incredible displays and performers at the Chinese Lantern festival at the Indiana state fairgrounds, which I hope becomes a yearly tradition for us. We ate delicious raclettes (cheese melted onto a baguette with dijon mustard, pickles, and green onions), drank hot chocolate, and checked out the German vendors at the Carmel Christkindlmarkt. I organized our company Christmas party with bowling and lunch at Punch Bowl Social. We had our eighth annual Central Perk gift exchange and a few of us ventured to Columbus for a fun evening of bowling and bar hopping with some of my best friends. In other words, I could have used a break from my break.

I turned 30. Yikes. As I'm sure you can guess, it feels the same as 29, but man, it doesn't sound good, does it? Fortunately, my actual birthday celebrations were wonderful, thanks to my awesome friends and family. Wheat surprised me with tickets to watch the Bengals beat the Browns, 30-16. Several of my friends came to Indy to do an escape room with me for the first time (we didn't escape - hmph). I watched competitive eater Joey Chestnut defend his St. Elmo's shrimp cocktail eating title by downing 10 pounds, six ounces of it in eight minutes. I mean, if that doesn't make your birthday, I don't know what will.

...and lots of other things happened, too.

My sister and Denny got married in a small ceremony at a courthouse in Tucson. Denny was deployed to Iraq and my sister moved home to Ohio. My brother-in-law paid us a visit in Indy and my family continued our Christmas Eve fondue tradition. My mom's cancer has continued to evade her chemo and my brother got a ridiculously, almost impossibly cute puppy. I tailgated with Jenn, Paul, and LP before watching the Bengals beat the Lions, 26-17, on Christmas Eve. I drove to Toledo for CJ's baby shower, hosted Kate in Indy for a night, and explored the Boonshoft Museum of Discovery in Dayton.

I did my best teenybopper impression (which isn't very hard to do) while watching the Backstreet Boys, The Chainsmokers, Zedd, Hey Violet, and Maxx. We cooked some HelloFresh meals and realized that, with a little effort, we can cook, too. Wheat and I attended our second consecutive Indianapolis BaconFest and I regretted nothing, especially not the bacon s'mores and donuts. We made strides trying to watch all of the Oscar-nominated movies, binged Mindhunter on Netflix, and visited Veal's Ice Tree before it melted in unseasonably 60º weather. Wheat and I supported each other's alma maters when we traveled to Muncie to watch the Miami Redhawks play football and to Dayton to watch the Davidson Wildcats play basketball.

Mostly, I've felt overwhelmed - sometimes in good ways, sometimes in bad. Sometimes drowning in sadness, other times floating with joy. I suppose the benefit of getting older is realizing that that's life.

Coming at you with more Spanish goodness soon...

Here's what you missed on Brittany...

Obviously I've gotten really bad at blogging. It took me weeks to finish my Texas vacation recap, then it took me weeks to write two posts on one of the best days of my life. I'm not going to feed you excuses. I'm just busy and lazy and exhausted and overwhelmed and all those other happy things. So, if you're even remotely interested, allow me to catch you up on all things Brittany:

- I got a new job. Sorta. It's actually the same job at the same place, but I went from working 29 hours to working 40 hours. Hence, the exhaustion. I also have benefits now and my bi-weekly paycheck doubled, so that's been a positive change around here.

- I'm getting married really soon and we might even have a wedding planned for the occasion. I mean, I still don't have a florist or transportation for pictures. I still haven't done a hair trial or picked up the rings or the dress. I did send out invitations this week, though. So hopefully someone else will be there to witness it.

- Football season is in full swing and I'm over-the-moon excited. We did a live fantasy draft a couple weeks ago and it was a blast. Any excuse to talk about football and stuff my face with food, right? We even followed the draft with some euchre, so I was in my hometown happy place. On top of that, the Bengals, the Packers, the Buckeyes, and my fantasy team (Watt Me Whip, Watt Me JJ) are undefeated.

- This probably doesn't deserve its own bullet point, but Wheat, LP, and I each received a free large one-topping pizza from Pizza Hut because apparently no one else watches College GameDay. On the opening day of college football, they announced before a commercial break that Pizza Hut was giving away 10,000 free pizzas with a special promo code. We assumed that by the time we ordered, the pizzas would be gone, but we each got one. We felt a little bad when we showed up together to pick them up, but FREE STUFF IS EVERYTHING.

- The past few weekends have consisted of: trips to Ohio for wedding planning, a full round of golf (where I didn't play, but drove the golf cart), a Bengals preseason win at Lucas Oil Stadium (which was technically on a Thursday), pumpkin pie blizzards from Dairy Queen, Fear the Walking Dead, a free root beer float from the Boy Scouts of America, a quick trip to Iron's Fruit Farm for apple cider and cinnamon-cider donuts, a stroll through IMA's incredible art park, and lots of quality time with my family. It's been really nice.

I also feel obligated to point out that fall is coming and I can feel it in the air. I can also taste it in my mouth because I'm currently devouring everything pumpkin-flavored within a 30-foot radius. I'm anxiously awaiting the first day where I can finally switch from looking like an overheated summer mess to looking like a presentable girl with a cardigan, boots, and scarf. It's coming, friends.

Tailgate Tuesday!

I'm not going to lie to you. When I first heard that Erin at Love, Fun, and Football was doing a football linkup today, I wanted to write something original - make predictions for the upcoming season, create a list of my favorite fantasy team names, do a countdown of my favorite players of all time. Then, as it always does, time got away from me. So, instead of something new, a weekend recap, or even a general life update (and trust me - plenty is going on around here), you get a post that I wrote exactly four years ago today. Such is life.

While many things have changed since then, I'm happy to report that I still feel exactly this way about football.

Originally posted on August 11, 2011

Are YOU Ready?

We are quickly approaching the most wonderful time of the year.

After the lockout chaos and free agency frenzy*, after the makeshift player-organized workouts and last-minute training camps, preseason games have finally arrived for the NFL. Summer lifting and conditioning has transitioned into intense football camp for college teams. High school teams are preparing for their first games in a couple weeks. I have survived yet another offseason. It’s finally here.

It’s time for another glorious football season.

There is a common misconception (held by most people I know) that I love football because I love the players. I will not lie to you – I do love the players. I often entertain brief fantasies where I am a professional stay-at-home mom (and blogger, of course), married to an NFLer, driving our kids to football camp in a black Range Rover.** I would marry Brian Urlacher with absolutely no hesitation. I swoon over Mark Sanchez, own a Chris Cooley jersey, and defend the attractive merits of AJ Hawk to naysayers. I have Chris Long desktop backgrounds, try to suppress my crushes on Ben Roethlisberger and Peyton Hillis,*** and I cannot even start with Tim Tebow.

So, in a way, you’re right. I do love the players. However, all of this pales in comparison to my love for the game itself.

I love football - everything about it. Over the last ten years, my football fanaticism has become a defining characteristic of my personality. Between the months of August and January, it dictates my weekend plans (and Monday…and Thursday…), occupies my every thought, and determines most of my wardrobe. It alienates me from loved ones who refuse to watch games with me, it gets me in trouble for yelling and cussing too much, and it sends my heart rate through the roof. Every fall, it becomes part of who I am and I wouldn’t have it any other way.

To claim that my love of football is based solely on the players is simply false – erroneous on all counts. My love of the game is nearly religious, something that evades accurate explanation.

It’s the linebacker who perfectly reads the offense and comes up with a huge tackle for a loss. It’s seeing the offensive line’s breath on a chilly afternoon as they position themselves on the line of scrimmage. It’s a quarterback’s audibles, somehow rising above the raucous cheering of the crowd. It’s going for it on 4th and inches. It’s the successful completion of an onside kick. It’s pregame motivational speeches in the tunnel and the excitement and intensity of players before a big game. It’s handshakes at midfield before the coin toss. It’s the rewarding feeling of points scored by the defense – safety or interception. It’s the tell-tale Gatorade dumping at the end of a long, successful season. It’s “Start Me Up” by the Rolling Stones and it’s Guns N’ Roses’ “Welcome to the Jungle.”

It’s jumping into Mirror Lake, chirping Michigan fans, “Hang on Sloopy,” and dotting the I. It’s beautiful long passes being knocked down by perfect, close coverage by the secondary. It’s yelling “Who-Dey?!” with pride, even though you know the answer is everyone.**** It’s a military plane fly-by before kickoff. It’s the crunch of autumn leaves in the parking lot while walking to the front gate. It’s the sound of helmets clashing on the field. It’s clumps of turf stuck in a helmet and shoulder pads popping out. It’s the comforting feeling you get from pulling on an old jersey. It’s the smell of hot dogs cooking on the grill in the parking lot. It’s two-point conversions and hilarious touchdown celebrations. It’s screaming at refs for unrealistic ‘Roughing the Passer’ calls and horrible spots. It’s wearing a cheesehead and stomping on Terrible Towels. It’s holding hand-warmers in your pockets during December games and never once regretting the trip. It’s intense rivalries, group chants, and those Friday night lights. It’s primal screaming and veins bulging after a critical sack. It’s breaking a tackle for 30+ yards. It’s taking the field to the booming of fireworks. It’s student sections, personalized t-shirts, and hugs and tears after a tough loss.

It’s a game-changing interception returned for a touchdown by a player who needs an oxygen mask afterward. It’s changing your starters at the last minute for fantasy football. It’s holding hands with loved ones and closing your eyes because you can’t bear to watch the play. It’s that one miserable Sunday when your favorite team has a bye week. It’s Tom Hedden’s “A New Game” and the Monday Night Football theme song. It’s an announcer unable to contain his excitement and yelling his encouragement to a player. It’s post-game interviews and switching to SportsCenter for even more coverage. It’s breaking records, going undefeated, huge upset wins, and battling until the end. It’s local stores closing early to attend the game. It’s a quarterback and his receiver on the same page. It’s conversations at the store because of the jersey you’re wearing. It’s coaches and teammates consoling a player after a fumble or a dropped pass. It’s high-fiving strangers and singing post-touchdown songs. It’s tears of defeat, tears of victory, and feeling like a part of something bigger than yourself.

Ultimately, that’s why I love football. It connects you with others in a way few other things can. Over the course of the season, you debate, cry, hug, pray, celebrate, and spend countless hours with friends, family, and even complete strangers. You’re never alone – you’re together in defeat and you’re together in victory. Football is all about the collective – the brotherhood of the team and the dedication of the fans.

It’s football. It’s not about the players. It’s about the game.

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*I completely forgot about the NFL lockout a few years ago. I guess it was overshadowed by the ACTUAL lockout that Gary Bettman allowed in the 2012-13 NHL season. Ridiculous.
**I'm pleased to point out that I'm feeling perfectly content with the idea of being a stay-at-home mom and wife of a successful sports journalist, instead. Also, we can drive a Ford Fusion. No big deal.
***Big fat yikes. I'm over the Roethlisberger crush. No wonder I tried to keep those a secret.
****Remember when the Bengals used to be really awful and we still suffered through every game? I sure do. Ride or die. WHO-DEY?!

You're winning, 2015.

Unsurprisingly, this first week of January has been an absolute whirlwind. Between the engagement announcement and the overwhelming flood of supportive phone calls, texts, and emails, we've been drowning in love. I'd liken this type of drowning to the way I'd feel if I suddenly found myself in a vat of guacamole. In other words, pretty darn happy and craving tortilla chips.

The over-the-moon happiness extended into New Year's Day when my beloved Buckeyes beat Alabama in the Sugar Bowl, 42-35. I told Wheat, a pure SEC elitist at heart, that Ohio State sealed the victory when he proposed to me...and he promptly called off the engagement. I'm kidding, of course, but he might actually consider it when he sees how I behave during the National Championship Game.

On Friday, the girls of Central Perk (minus Cara) had our fifth annual gift exchange, this year at Sarah's place in Dayton. As always, it was glorious to reunite with my lovely friends, eat delicious food, catch up on each others' lives, and trade presents. I ended up with a pretty calendar, a 'God Bless This Home' tea light set, a kitchen towel set printed with asparagus, salt and pepper shakers in the shape of asparagus, and a Chris Long figurine. The best news? I found out my housemate Lindsey also got engaged in December!

Saturday, Mommles made her way to Indianapolis for a visit. We walked down the foggy, frozen canal to try Burgerhaus for the first time and I must say - I regret nothing. I tried the Monaco, a burger with cheddar cheese, sauteed mushrooms and onions, avocado, arugula, and wine mayo on a pretzel bun, and the sweet potato fries. It tastes as good as it sounds. We split the parmesan artichoke dip and I single-handedly took down half of it. Oops. The atmosphere was great and I can't wait to go back in the spring.

On a whim, we decided to buy tickets for the Bengals vs. Colts playoff game at Lucas Oil the next day. In a few words, it was rough. The Bengals lost, 26-10, eliminating them in the first round of the playoffs for the fourth year in a row. We still had a great time repping our Cincinnati gear in our new city. We walked to the game, ate hot dogs, watched a bald eagle fly across the stadium during the national anthem, and sang the Cincinnati fight song after our first and only touchdown of the game. Mike Nugent made a 57-yard field goal. I was surprised how many Bengals fans made the drive, but it was nice to leave in good company. See you next year, fellow masochists. Who-Dey?!

After the game, we hurried back to our apartment so Mommles and I could get to Mimosa and a Masterpiece on time. The studio, which is located on dreamy Mass Ave, was so warm and inviting, but Mommles still wanted some 'liquid courage' before we got to work. We strapped on our aprons, ordered drinks, and followed along stroke-by-stroke as our enthusiastic instructor taught us how to paint the Indianapolis skyline from the canal. Despite a couple minor panic attacks, two tired right arms, 20 paint-spattered fingers, and a stiff neck, our finished products weren't too shabby. It was a fun, laidback atmosphere with great music and lots of help when you needed it. I'll definitely be back, but the verdict is still out on whether or not I can force Wheat to accompany me.

Which one do you like better?

Let's just make it through the work week, so we can wake up on Saturday and pretend it's still holiday break. Sound good? Okay.

Merry Clinchmas!

How do people with full-time jobs, clean homes, dinner in the oven, attention-seeking pets, and a couple children running around have time to blog? Seriously, I want the answer. Because I'm having a hard time balancing my 30-hour work week, unpacking my new apartment, ordering Chinese takeout, and watching Ellen.

Last weekend was an early Christmas of sorts for the Johnson family. Jamie and Denny were in town from Tucson, LP was finally settled back into Ohio life, and all of us were together for two short days. On Saturday, an attempt to surprise LP with a birthday/welcome home-hybrid party completely failed. Somehow, he figured out the plans early...and by somehow, I mean my mom told him.

Gold Star Chili, which has always been our Cincinnati chili of choice, hosted an incredible homecoming party for LP. They made an amazing banner that read Welcome Home, CPL Lewis Johnson, closed off a section of the Lebanon location, and fed 15 of us...for FREE! There really was no better way to welcome him home than some coneys at our favorite hometown restaurant. The servers and manager all took time to thank him for his service and it truly meant the world to us. We couldn't be more proud of him (or thankful to Gold Star!).

After dinner, the party moved to our house, where we celebrated with some NFL action and a massive rice krispie treat that posed as a birthday cake.

Despite my begging and pleading, no one but my mom agreed to accompany me to the Christmas Ranch in nearby Morrow. I ended up dragging Wheat there against his will because Christmas spirit reigns. We bundled up, waited in the long line of traffic, paid the $15 per carload fee, and wandered around the gorgeous light displays that were synched with yuletide songs. This place is intense - I have never seen so many lights in my life. It's no wonder it has been mentioned by HGTV, The New York Times, and Good Morning America.

We admired the Christmas trees and light arches, perused several shops, fawned over the live lambs at the nativity scene, and warmed ourselves by the massive bonfire. Most importantly, we drank peppermint hot cocoa and ate funnel cake amidst the twirling Santa Clauses in the dining area.

Sunday flew by, a whirlwind of early gift exchanging, more NFL games, Christmas shopping, and burritos. And just like that, Jamie was on her way back to Arizona. Bah humbug. In an effort to cheer me up, the Bengals broke their primetime curse and clinched a spot in the playoffs by defeating Peyton Manning and the Denver Broncos on Monday Night Football. It kinda worked. Merry Clinchmas, ya filthy animals.

Why YOU Should Start Rooting for the Bengals.

On Sunday, Wheat and I made a big move on the fall bucket list when we bundled up to cheer on my beloved Bengals at Paul Brown Stadium. Although our seats were in the upper level, we managed to nab cheap spots at center field. Our winter-like layering proved to be unnecessary, as the sun and our adrenaline kept us plenty warm throughout the game. Even more importantly, the Bengals beat the Jaguars (I know that's not saying much), 33-23, in AJ Green's first game since returning from a toe injury.

The Bengals' special teams unit blocked two punts, including one that resulted in a safety, so that made up for the weirdly close score in my book. Wheat even wore a Bengals hoodie, so this girl was brimming with hometown happiness. We closed the night with quality time with my parents, Gold Star - why can't I quit you? - and the new episode of The Walking Dead. Perfect Sunday if you ask me.

In anticipation of Cincinnati's Thursday night matchup against divisional rival the Cleveland Browns, I give you 10 Reasons Why YOU Should Root for the Bengals:

1. Our fight song. You know you love it.



2. Devon and Leah Still. They'll remind you that sports can always have a meaningful, positive impact beyond the field, court, or rink.

3. Ochocinco's antics of the past. I don't care what you say - I miss him. NSFW.



4. We've never won a Super Bowl and who doesn't love rooting for the underdog?

5. Domata Peko's awesome hair.

Via

6. The Freezer Bowl.

7. "Welcome to the Jungle" by Guns 'n Roses.

8. The Ickey Shuffle...and the new Geico commercial featuring Mr. Woods.



9. Hu Dey Beer, produced in 1988 by Hudepohl Brewing Company. I have an unopened can in my room and this brave guy actually tried to drink one. Again, NSFW.



10. Because no one, absolutely no one, should wave the Terrible Towel. It's better suited for cleaning cleats. Just ask TJ Houshmandzadeh.

Via