Oh, hey.

I know. I've been distant, but this time, I have a perfectly good reason.

I move out on Sunday! So, I've been spending time with my family and friends, saying teary goodbyes, packing my life away, doing homework (yeah, I already have some), and shopping at Ikea.

Ikea is Sweden's second-best export. Am I right, ladies?

So much for the meatballs.

You haven't missed much. The Bengals have started the pre-season with a perfect 2-0 record, defeating the Falcons last night and the Jets last Friday. You know who plays for the Jets? That's right, America. Tim Tebow.

Smile for me, Daddy. - "Grillz" by Nelly

Of course I was there.

I begged my dad to take me and, due to some combination of sympathy and genuine love for the Jets (he's from Long Island and a huge Joe Namath fanboy), he did. Everyone around us must have been baffled. Despite my Bengals t-shirt, I wouldn't stop talking about Tim Tebow.

Healing someone on the sideline.

Having Tim Tebow and Mark Sanchez as quarterbacks on the same team shouldn't be allowed...

Yeah, I totally watched the fourth quarter.

...or it should. It really, really should.

Somehow, somewhere, this is happening every single day.

Seriously, if you're looking for any reason to get up in the morning, here it is: Baywatch for girls.



Mama like.

I'll be back with things that matter soon.

Because you knew it was coming...

...a football update.

Today was a huge weekend for NFL football. This, of course, translates into a huge day for me. Both the AFC and NFC championship games were played today, resulting in the Superbowl 45 matchup for February 6th - Packers vs. Steelers

Game 1: Packers vs. Bears

I was beyond torn for this game. Although my family allegiance and my heart lies with the Green Bay Packers (in fact, my grandma is a team stock-holder), my beloved Brian Urlacher plays for the Bears. He's getting close to retirement age and I would love for him to win a Superbowl ring before his glorious career is over. Although the Packers shot out to an early lead, the Bears battled back, despite losing their starting quarterback Jay Cutler in the 3rd quarter to a "knee injury." In a championship game, I think it would take a very severe injury to keep a player from helping his team win. The Superbowl is on the line and it would take something catastrophic to keep me from playing. From my admirable position as couch quarterback, it appeared to me that his injury was a bit exaggerated, due in part to his poor performance. Only Cutler knows just how "injured" he really was...and I'll let his sexy (yet wimpy) conscience deal with that.

At any rate, Brian had an interception, a sack, and led the team in tackles. However, his heroic efforts weren't enough to carry the Bears to single-handed victory. The Packers won, 21-14, clinching not only a spot in the Superbowl, but dominance of the NFC North, some bragging rights for cheeseheads nationwide, and a little closure after the horrifying Favre aftermath. GO PACK! Oh yeah - Aaron Rodgers and his belt celebrations are amazing. However, absolutely nothing beats big BJ Raji and his phenomenal touchdown dance. There is nothing I like more than a 338-pound defensive player scoring his first touchdown and getting down with his bad self.



Game 2: Jets vs. Steelers

Yikes. I absolutely loathe the Steelers, so my game-time enthusiasm was directed solely toward Rex Ryan and his Jets. The first half looked atrocious. The offense forgot to show up and Mark Sanchez looked more afraid than me at the dentist. 3-and-out mania. Because the defense was constantly on the field, they wore down easily. The Steelers took a 24-0 lead by halftime. Ugh. Then, I'm not sure what happened in the locker room. Rex Ryan must have lit some serious fires under people because the Jets came out ready to play. They started a nearly-heroic comeback, posting an impressive 19 points and holding the Steelers to 0. However, in the brilliant words of teen star Jojo, it was simply 'too little, too late.' The Steelers, aka the bane of my existence, held onto the lead, winning the AFC title for the third time in six years. *vomit*

So, in order to distract myself from this horrible news, I've decided to show you a little something special that happened during tonight's big game. Although I used to love Ben Roethlisberger (he is the pride and joy of my alma mater), I've come to terms with the fact that he is a pompous jerk who doesn't make the best life decisions. Everyone knows about the rape allegations made against Big Ben in the past. So, does anyone else find it funny that he got a tiny taste of his own medicine from his own teammate tonight? Hump away, Mendenhall. Hump away.



*throws flag for roughing the passer*

In other sports' news, QB Carson Palmer is demanding a trade from the Bengals and threatening to retire if said trade isn't made. I, of course, am throwing a giant party at my house to celebrate my long-awaited retirement as the conductor of the Carson Palmer doubt train. Feels good.

...and Sidney Crosby and Evgeni Malkin aren't playing in the NHL all-star game this weekend. Sid is still recovering from his "mild" concussion (who the hell labeled this 3-week concussion as 'mild?'). Geno has a banged-up knee and a sinus infection...that he clearly got from violently making out with me. For which ailment am I to blame, you ask? The cold or the knee? I'll let you decide. ;)

Finally, my little brother left for boot camp today - for real this time. I could not be more proud of him. Today felt so much easier than last time. The timing wasn't right in December and everyone could feel it. It felt so hard to let him go. I still had a hard time today, but something felt better...and I can't quite put it into words. Either way, I'm thankful we had the extra time with him and I cannot wait to see him graduate in April.