I feel like I'm taking crazy pills.
Lately, my joblessness has combined with the depressing weather and my bizarre sleeping schedule to create a trifecta of blubbery winter sadness.
I won't venture to say that I'm experiencing a bout of Seasonal Affective Disorder, but seriously...I'm in a funk. A non-Christmas funk.
I'm struggling to figure out what I want to do with my life. There is one thing, however, that I do know: it's not this.
So, if you don't mind, I will think out loud:
My ideal jobs: Professional blogger. Movie critic. Traveling journalist. Sport blogger (for a specific team). Football commentator. The voice for a new Disney princess. Personal masseuse for Sidney Crosby, Brian Urlacher, Evgeni Malkin, Tim Tebow, etc.
Okay. So. We can immediately eliminate the last two options. Bummer.
All of this seems highly unrealistic. Not that I can't do it. I can. I have enough confidence in my writing ability and my understanding of movies, travel, and sports. I honestly believe I write things worth reading.
Here's the rub. I have absolutely no connections. I live in rural southwestern Ohio. I could write for our local newspaper (maybe), but that's not a living...and it's not what I want.
So, to channel my inner Lebron James, what should I do? Should I go to law school (even though I have little to no interest in it) and make the money necessary for travel and Bengals' season tickets? What should I do? Should I go to graduate school - and if so, what should I go for? Should I move and try somewhere new? Should I get another job (one I don't want) and write on the side? What should I do? Should I give up on my unrealistic dreams and settle for some financial stability?
I know the answer to the last question is no. I know all the cliche phrases - Dream Big. Happiness is more important than money. No dreamer is ever too small; no dream is ever too big. Got it. But, you know what is too big? The list of names who want the same amazing jobs that I do.
I wish I had an 'in' with the Bengals or the Penguins franchises. I wish I had a connection with a major newspaper, a magazine, a popular travel or movie website. Unfortunately, wishing these things won't change my situation. So, I'm stuck thinking.
I know I can do it. I just don't know where to start.
Don't go to law school if you don't reallllly want to do it; you would hate it so much. I hate it and I reallllly WANT to do it. Don't make yourself suffer for something just because it might be a "safer" option.
ReplyDeleteTry looking in Dayton or Cinci! The drive wouldn't be too long, and they're bound to have more options than Lebanon does.
HAAAA lebron comment,,,i truly believe u can do whatever you want because you have the skills...you just need the drive/push,,i agree w/ emma about looking in dayton or cincinnati,,& i think getting a job u may not like now/going to grad school and writing on the side would be beneficial,,mb an internship? but you'll have to do one of those 3 things to get an in/connection #justsayin
ReplyDeletehahah nice title btw!!
ReplyDeleteGosh, I hate that you are going through this! That was me 4 months ago. Yuck. You do have a serious writing talent, so I would pursue that if you love it. Get a decent job that you don't hate and write on the side...work your way up! That's what my cousin in NYC is trying to do!
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