I ate way too much guacamole tonight.

Tonight was my one of my favorite holidays: Oscar night.

Seriously, ever since middle school, it has been my dream to write an Oscar-winning screenplay. Have I started it? No. I do, however, have my speech planned already. Just like every other award show, my mom and I made our predictions. For the first time, my mom tied with me. Big day for her. ;)

Tonight also marked another first for me. For the first time ever, I flipped between two channels during the pre-show Red Carpet coverage. Sounds like sacrilege, I know...but I'm glad I did it because I'm pretty sure Jonathan Toews got me pregnant on this shot.



The Blackhawks ended up winning in a shootout. Tazer had two goals and the only shootout goal. Need more proof of his perfection?

BUT, back to the Oscars...

I've decided to give out my own awards instead of my usual +/- reviews.

Most Beautiful Couple: Javier Bardem and Penelope Cruz. Holy latin beauty.


Best Presenter: James Franco seemed as high as a kite and more bored than when he was stuck for 127 hours in the depths of a canyon. Anne Hathaway did a refreshingly great job, but I'm going with Robert Downey Jr. and Jude Law. They're gorgeous, hilarious, have amazing chemistry, and I cannot wait for Sherlock 2. Can they please host next year?

Most Justice Served: Colin Firth wins best actor. All is right in the world. He can say whatever he wants and it sounds smart, hilarious, and perfect. Forever my Mr. Darcy. I'm also very glad that Natalie Portman won.

Best Musical Moment: I'm not counting the adorable PS22 choir. They made me cry during their rendition of "Somewhere Over the Rainbow." My other favorite moment was the audible orgasm that was the duet between Florence Welch and AR Rahman. I've loved Rahman since Slumdog Millionaire, but they were amazing together.

Most Amazingly Awkward interview: You will thank me for this. Jesse Eisenberg is so uncomfortable and adorable that I can't handle it. Watch from 3:15 to 4:45.

Superbowl? Sign up this morning? No TV? Watching you in person? Shake some of their hands? Tell your mom I said hi? Please notice how long he awkwardly sticks around, looking at the camera. I want to hug him.

Most Blissful Moment: Trent Reznor wins for The Social Network score. Listen to this man's music. I thought the music in 300 was delicious.

Biggest Disappointment: Melissa Leo. I just don't like her. Yes, she transformed herself for The Fighter, but I just don't get it. I am part of the 1% of viewers who didn't like the movie. Her look of utter shock at winning, coupled with the huge F-bomb she dropped on the classiest night in Hollywood, did not give her any points in my book. Who else would steal Kirk Douglas's cane?

Best Dress: I'm going with Mila Kunis on this one.


Hardest LOL moment: The autotune video that featured Harry Potter, Toy Story 3, and Twilight. I loved this...and it wasn't just because it showed a shirtless Jacob Black.

...and there you have it. Get ready for Man Meat Monday. It's a throwback!