The maniacal musings of a disappointed fan.

To my fellow Cincinnati sports' fans:

Tonight, I write to you from a very dark place: a dismal, self-imposed mixture of disappointment, sadness, and desperation. Like you, I am reeling in the unwelcoming arms of defeat. Double defeat, in fact. October 10, 2010 will forever go down as a bad day in Cincinnati.

Of course, most of us have become relatively accustomed to this feeling. Life-long Bengals and Reds fans know the misery of embarrassing defeat all too well. We've spent numerous years, faithfully and enthusiastically cheering on teams that, more often than not, leave us disappointed and speechless at the end of the season. Although we cheer endlessly, tailgate, buy merchandise and game tickets, and fill bars and restaurants during gametime, we always end up the same way: in tears and/or screaming curse words at the television.

Cincinnati is no stranger to sports misery. Two Superbowl losses for the Bengals in the '80s to the 49ers. The horrifying decade of the '90s (which happened to coincide with the death of Paul Brown. Coincidence? I think not). The Bengals or the Reds haven't won a world championship in 20 years. This was the first winning season for the Reds since 2000. The Bengals have had only 2 winning seasons since 2000. This, my devoted sports fans, is a problem. Still, we enter new seasons with optimism and undying devotion for our teams.

I will admit, however, that the Cincinnati sports fan has adopted a certain level of healthy skepticism. It is a defense mechanism - a way to shield themselves from the pain of inevitable loss. This manifests itself in a number of ways. Bengals fans assume that new draft picks will end up in jail before actually showing up in the playoffs. Reds fans stop watching games in July. There is never a moment of relaxation over the the course of any game...because fans know better...even with a considerable lead.

Many have interpreted my skepticism as pessimism. They are probably right. Long ago, I reached the point where I go into games with zero expectations. I venture predictions, but I don't actually believe them. When I say the Bengals should beat the Browns, I know full well that reality could (and probably will) be different.

As I've mentioned previously, I have never been a fan of Carson Palmer. Drafted first overall in 2003, Carson came to Cincinnati a Heisman winner and a superstar in the making. Finally, Cincinnati fans thought there was an end in sight to our quarterbacking woes. Although his first season as a starter was an improvement (8-8), it wasn't until the 2005 (11-5) season that people began to worship him as Cincinnati's messiah. Even then, I had some major reservations.

There was no denying that Carson was an improvement from Kitna. Still, I wasn't overly impressed with the USC superstar and Heisman winner. As the seasons wore on (and our record vacillated between losing and breaking even), I fortified my arguments against Palmer. Endlessly, I argued with friends and family who claimed that Palmer was among the elite quarterbacks in the NFL. This all brings me to this season.

It has been blatantly clear to me that Carson Palmer is a major problem. He is not a definitive team leader, the offense has been sloppy all season, Carson has had trouble throwing the ball on the money, and even more trouble making smart decisions. Today, my beloved Bengals fell in the last minute of the game to the Tampa Bay Buccaneers...ultimately because of a third interception thrown by Carson.

Don't get me wrong. I know there are plenty of other issues with our team. The offensive play calling is questionable. 'Hall of Fame' receivers drop balls when they are wide open. I can't remember the last time I've seen so many false start penalties. Every so often, the defense forgets to show up on certain huge plays. I will not place all of the blame on Carson. Still, I'm starting to be concerned with the future of the Bengals.

Who is our backup quarterback? Carson's less talented brother, Jordan. We need another quarterback. At least a young one to sit back and learn for a few years from a veteran...even if that veteran is Carson.

Unfortunately, today also marks the day that the Reds were swept by the Phillies in the NLDS. In only three games, the Reds made 7 errors that ultimately drove the nail in their own coffin. Keep in mind: this is the team that led the NL with the fewest amount of regular-season errors. Snake-bitten much? This, coupled with Roy Halladay's amazing no-hitter in game 1, crushed Cincinnati fans' post-season hopes.

Let me be clear. This post is in no way an attack on the Reds. They had a wonderful season - one that the players and the fans should be proud of and remember. I'm not taking that from them. Still, I can't help but wallow in the 'close-but-no-cigar' misery of it all.

I suppose it could be worse. The Bengals made the play-offs last year. They were the AFC North Champions. The Reds made the play-offs for the first time since 1995. These are all necessary steps in the right direction. We'll take it. It still pains me to be the national laughing stock of professional sports.

We, the devoted fans, deserve better. We need some positive reinforcement. Our unwavering support must eventually be rewarded. I can't count how many tears I've cried over the Cincinnati Bengals. I do know, however, that I will never give up on them. No matter how many losing seasons, horrible plays, interceptions, play-off defeats, errors, or player injuries there are, the Cincinnati Bengals and the Cincinnati Reds will forever be my teams.

So, tonight, I implore you to stay true. Do not lose faith. Don't boo. I know how trying it is to stay faithful and enthusiastic in the midst of such utter chaos. We will be rewarded. It will pay off and that day will be glorious. That day, we will fully comprehend and appreciate all of the pain and suffering we have endured for years. That day, we will stand in solidarity as true fans. We will finally reap the benefits from the hundreds of dedicated hours. WE WILL BE VICTORIOUS!

For the Bengals and the Reds, it clearly won't be this year. Yes, we have become the seasoned pros of 'There's always next year"...but you know what? There is.

So, until then, my dearest friends, WAY TO GO, REDS! and WHO-DEY?!

Sincerely,

Someone who should seek immediate help for these absurd obsessions