American Idol CATASTROPHE

Tonight was almost the biggest American Idol injustice since Chris Daughtry's untimely exit in season 5 (sorry, friends...I wasn't an Adam Lambert fan).

There is absolutely no justification for Casey Abrams not making the top 10.

I know that I'm biased. Casey has touched a deep part of my blues-loving, jazzy soul that hasn't been affected by an American Idol contestant since my beloved Taylor Hicks. The instant I heard his beautiful scat on "I Don't Need No Doctor," I was sold. When he sang "Why Georgia" with an upright bass the following week, I knew he was my favorite. The next week, however, he sang "Why Don't You Do Right?" with his upright bass and I melted to the floor Alex Mack-style. You must watch it.



This was my exact reaction.



In all honesty, that performance is the epitome of sex. Jazzy, classy, bearded sex. In fact, I might be pregnant now. That wonderfully-placed scat literally tore my pants off. His musical talent FAR surpasses almost every other contestant in the history of American Idol. He is all kinds of Ray Charles and Marvin Gaye with a hint of Frank Sinatra. He has more soul than a Southern Baptist preacher and his raspy growling will forever be the cause of my sexual frustration.

So, consider this a call to arms. Vote for Casey. If not for you, then for me. I'm selfish that way. This is proof that America forgets what MUSIC really is. I'm guilty, too. I haven't voted yet, but you better believe I'll be calling a million times next week.

On the upside, if Casey doesn't win Idol, he could tour the country playing in small, intimate club settings. Picture it. Casey. Upright bass. Smoky jazz club. Drummer playing the hi-hat. Someone playing muted trumpet. All three in suits and ties. Dim lighting. Scats all night long. Me. Front and center. Throwing my bra on stage.

Sidenote: If Scotty McCreery wins, I will move to Canada.