Way to go, Zuckerberg.

Like the rest of the world, I am obsessed with Facebook. Although my love affair with the social networking site has declined in recent years (mostly due to my interest in Twitter and my blog), I still check it multiple times a day.

Over the years, I have come to realize that there are different types of status updaters on Facebook. Here they are:

The 'Too Much Information' Poster - This friend tells the world extremely personal details about their life. Ex. "Feel like killing everyone because it's that time of the month." or "My mom is really pissing me off. She just called me a bitch in front of my friends!"

The Cryptic - This friend wants you to ask them what's going on with them, so they leave a series of vague statuses to make you curious. Often, they end statuses with ellipses. Ex. "Why is this happening to me?" or "I have never felt this way before..."

The Revoltingly in Love Updater - This friend cannot write a status without including something gooey about their significant other. Ex. "Counting down the minutes until I get to see my baby girl." or "The best 2 week, 4 days, and 11 hours of my life. Love my boy!"

The Shameless Self-Promoter - This friend uses their Facebook as a way to gain personal attention or raise awareness for something they care about. Ex. "Check out my blog." or "Attend my event!" Clearly, I'm guilty of this one.

The Anchorman - This friend uses their Facebook status to inform the world of news that they might not know otherwise. Of course, everyone usually knows what they post already. Ex. "The Packers win!!" or "I can't believe there is a cobra missing from the Bronx zoo!"

The Incessant Updater - This friend updates their status every thirty minutes. Ex. "Watching Ocean's 13." followed by "Brad Pitt and George Clooney are so hot." followed by "I can't believe the end of this movie." followed by "Highly recommend Ocean's 13 to everyone."

The Cynic - This friend uses their status as a soapbox to complain about everything. Ex. "People that talk shit behind my back really piss me off." or "Why can't people get their own life and stay out of mine?"

The Sympathy Seeker - This friend is desperately looking for comfort and uses Facebook induce pity from others. Ex. "Worst day ever." or "Huge test tomorrow. Gonna be an all-nighter." Again, guilty.

The Meteorologist - This friend forgets that nearly everyone else on their friend list is experiencing the same weather they are. Ex. "It's so warm! Is this actually March?!" or "IT'S SNOWING!!!"

The Braggart - This friend wants others to envy them, so they post positive details about their own life in an attempt to make others jealous. Ex. "Last night was CRAZY!"

The Novelist - This friend writes a full paragraph for every status update. Unfortunately, they are usually pointless or boring paragraphs. Ex. "Today, I went to the grocery store to pick up some dinner. I really wanted spaghetti, but I realized that no Italian dinner is complete without garlic bread. I went over to the bakery for some fresh garlic bread, but the workers told me they were completely out! So, I went with tacos instead."

There you have it. We are all guilty of these from time to time, but these are the over-arching trends in Facebook status updates that I've noticed over the years.

...and trust me, I've spent my fair share of time on Facebook.