Maybe one day I'll care about something more than pop culture. Doubtful.

I found out two striking pieces of pop culture news today.

First, American Idol. I have been a fan of the show since season one. In fact, I'm quite ashamed by how many hours of my life I've spent watching it...and voting for my favorite contestant. I was pretty upset when I found out Simon Cowell was leaving, seeing as how he was my favorite judge. Still, I withheld judgment on Idol's final season because I didn't know who the new judges would be. Today, I found out that the judges for next year will be Randy Jackson, Steven Tyler, and J.Lo.

Sweet Jesus. I honestly can't think of two celebrities I would like to hear talk less - unless Glenn Beck, Donald Trump, Hines Ward, and Miley Cyrus count. For me, this choice has put the proverbial nail in the Idol coffin. No worries. This is probably a blessing in disguise. Maybe I'll use this new-found time on Tuesdays to do something productive for the first time in 10 years.

Also, remember that horrifying interview with Joaquin Phoenix last year on The Tonight Show with Dave Letterman? The one where he had the attention span of a loaf of bread, seemed as high as a kite, and looked like a Blues Brothers/lumberjack hybrid? Remember how prior to that interview he announced that he was retiring from acting, despite his two Oscar nominations, and pursuing a career in rap music?

It was all a hoax. Apparently, he decided, along with director Casey Affleck (who is also his brother-in-law), that he would make a 'documentary' that explored the media's relationship with celebrity. They were fascinated by reality shows and how despite the horrible acting and the atrociously orchestrated plotlines, audiences believed reality shows were reality, simply because the actors used their real names. So, Joaquin decided he would use his real name and act out a new character to see if people believed him. I know I certainly did.

His elaborate plan, filmed from start to finish by Affleck, followed his fake self-destruction, the abandonment of his acting career, and his public humiliations. The movie is called I'm Still Here and I desperately want to see it. I'm very interested in the immense power of celebrity status. It seems that celebrities are capable of making you believe (and do) almost anything. Oprah can influence you to read certain things, eat certain things, buy certain things. Peyton Manning's face can help sell Gatorade, Mastercard, Direct TV, or cell phones. Rachael Ray determines your dinner while George Clooney and Angelina Jolie call public attention to political issues that interest them.

I think it's an interesting idea to explore the extent of celebrity power and how obsessive media coverage only reinforces it. People love to hear about the drama of celebrities. Why else would Lindsay Lohan be all over the news every day? I know that I personally could do without, but clearly someone's paying attention. In the example of Joaquin's career, I heard he was retiring to be a rapper, saw the infamous interview with Letterman, and even saw a video of him falling off stage during a rap performance. All very convincing. I'm glad he decided to make a mockery of the obsession with celebrity insanity. It almost seems, without having seen it, to be a masterpiece. He put on this show, lived a fake life, for two years...and as far as I know, had everyone fooled. It's actually quite troublesome that this lie wasn't too far-fetched and that everyone believed it without blinking an eye. What does that tell you about our acceptance of the self-destruction of so many other celebrities?

I must also note: this makes him unbelievably sexy to me. I'll be honest - he already was. He has always held a spot in my top 10 sexiest actors list...but this might push him into the top 5. This idea is brilliant and makes a mockery of the very industry he works in, the media that follows him, and the audience that pays attention to him. Myself included. AND - he's back to looking dapper as usual. Delish.