Sometimes is always okay.

Sometimes, the walk from the car to your house in the pouring rain isn't that bad. Slow down. Close your eyes. Breathe deeply. Listen to the pitter-patter. Smell the wet pavement. Suddenly, the frizziness of your hair seems secondary.

Sometimes, acting like a child is the best option. When every second of your life is consumed by obligations, to-do lists, stress, and worries, you forget how wonderful the simplicity of childhood was. I promise you - the hardest I laughed today was during a game of leap frog with my 23-year-old best friend.

Sometimes, simply not talking says much more than any combination of words ever could. As a teenager, I thought I could be more mature, more assertive, more 'grown-up' if I spoke my mind. Only now do I realize that silence speaks as loudly as words and, sometimes, the best way to make yourself heard is to say nothing at all.

Sometimes, watching the stars is the best self-medication. There is no better way to humble yourself or put things into perspective than realizing how big the universe is. As self-centered as we can be at times, it feels refreshing to know that we aren't alone, we aren't a mistake, and we are a part of something much bigger than ourselves.

Sometimes, he knows exactly what you need without you having to say it. The connection you share is more than physical, more than emotional - something organic, something cosmic. He reads your body like Braille and tells a beautiful story. Sometimes, you're grateful you don't need to speak because you aren't sure you'd be able to find the right words, anyway.

Sometimes, that boy that could read you like a book becomes a stranger. He used to know every intimate detail, your naive dreams, the secrets of your soul. Then, one day, you are driving past a place that reminds you of him or you hear a song that you shared and you realize that he's merely a memory - a translucent image of what you both used to be.

Sometimes, I have days where I remember him. I think about how I used to feel and used to dream. I feel so disappointed by mistakes and regrets. I find myself missing something. Not him - because he isn't who he used to be. Not then - because I've loved so many things and people since. I think it's me I miss - the me with him, the me who loved unconditionally, the me who felt confident, happy, vibrant, and destined for big things.

Sometimes, I find myself crying. I used to pretend it didn't matter. I used to pretend I didn't think about it, that I was okay, that that part of me was gone. I used to think that reflecting on the past would only cause me pain. Only now do I realize that remembering, and even crying, isn't just okay sometimes.

It's always okay.

Man Meat Monday #13

I get it, America. You don't want hockey players gracing the beautiful face of Man Meat Monday this week. However, they seem to be all I want lately. So, I was desperately open to suggestions this week. I got a number of great ones from my near and dear friends, but only one convinced me instantly.

So, thanks to the wonderful suggestion of my good friend over at Legally Lovely, I bring you...

Robert Downey Jr.

Claim to Fame: Actor (Iron Man, Tropic Thunder, Sherlock Holmes)

Birthday: April 4, 1965

Something about Robert Downey Jr. (hereafter referred to as RDJ) melts the very small piece of me that has a thing for bad boys. Born to acting parents, RDJ grew up in Greenwich Village, surrounded by the arts and frequent drug use. He took a few theater roles before being cast in a number of popular movies in the 1980s, including The Pick-Up Artist and Weird Science. In 1992, he was nominated for Best Actor at the Oscars for his portrayal of Charlie Chaplin in the film Chaplin.

However, weird things soon started to happen for RDJ - and by weird, I mean stupid. After a number of drug-related arrests and a year in jail, he was forced to stage an enormous career comeback. He took a number of high-profile roles before landing the role of a lifetime: Iron Man. Don't worry. The public's opinion of RDJ is more than restored.

It goes without saying that RDJ is easy on the eyes. However, it's his edgy persona that has me fantasizing about spending one day as the Iron Man suit. His voice, his sarcasm, his confidence, his incredible ability to be hilarious without cracking a smile. Even though he has been clean and sober for quite some time, he has an irresistible 'bad boy' image that makes me want to snort cocaine off of his chest. Wait...


Random Tidbit: RDJ can sing and play the piano. He released his debut album, "The Futurist," in 2004. Warning: If you decide to youtube this, please know that he would not make the final 12 on American Idol. Go with "Smile."

Only downfall?: Aside from the excessive drug use, run-ins with the law, stints in rehab, and current marriage? He dated Sarah Jessica Parker...and he's 5'8".



He is also the only actor capable of making Jude Law look subpar.

So, readers: It's your turn. What would you do to see Robert Downey's junior?

Hockey Update - You know you love it.

I accidentally lied to you when I said the Columbus/Chicago game would be my last hockey game of the season. I completely lucked out this weekend and got to watch a little more before the playoffs start.

Friday, Dad and I went down to US Bank Arena to watch the 2010 Kelly Cup champions, the Cincinnati Cyclones, take on the Reading Royals in the first round of the playoffs. There is no better deal than going to a Cyclones game. Tickets are cheap, the seats are great, and the hockey is tough. Unfortunately, the 'Clones lost 3-0 and the next night, they were eliminated from the playoffs after a 2-1 loss in double overtime. Ouch.

However, I did get a couple pictures of Jenn's favorite thing ever. Mascots.


Also, if you want to love the Cyclones, watch this video that is played during intermission at games - "I'm on the 'Clones," a parody of "I'm on a Boat," made by the players for the charity Hockey Players for Kids.



The only thing I love more than charitable hockey players imitating Andy Samberg is charitable hockey players imitating Andy Samberg in the shower.

Saturday, Jenn and I went to Columbus for the final Blue Jackets game of the season. It was fan appreciation night and I was convinced that Rick Nash would hand-pick me to receive his jersey. I was wrong, but I'm sure it's because he didn't see me. The game was exciting, our seats were fantastic, but the Jackets lost to Buffalo (and America's golden boy, Ryan Miller), 5-4.

Nash-ty didn't play, but I did take some stalker pics of him. Don't worry - he was lumberjacking it up in a suit. *swoon*


What I learned this weekend is that I'm bad luck for teams. So, with the Stanley Cup playoffs starting this week for my Penguins and the Blackhawks, I can rest assured...because there is no way I can afford tickets to any of those games.

Cue the growing of playoff beards! #mybodyisready

Dance until the Prom Ends?

The whole notion of high school dances creeps me out.

Don't get me wrong - I had a great time at most of mine, particularly Prom junior year. I had a fun date, the limo ride was entertaining, and it was held in Paul Brown Stadium. So, I spent the whole time, dancing with friends, overlooking the beautiful Cincinnati skyline, and fantasizing that the Bengals would show up at any minute to steal me away.

Still, when I think about high school dances now (Proms and Homecomings), I realize how gross they are. They are essentially a powder keg of teenage angst and raging hormones, ready to explode (in more ways than one).

Here are the things you will see at every high school dance:

- 15-20 crying girls. It is inevitable. They cry because Johnny broke up with them at the dance. They cry because Samantha is wearing the same dress they are. They cry because Ryan is dancing with their mortal enemy. They cry because they weren't invited to Chelsea's house for pictures. They cry because they're teenage girls.

- Fake tans. For some reason, this is the one time of year where it is not only acceptable for teenagers to morph into Jersey Shore characters, it is encouraged. Fake tans, professionally-styled hair (often a Snooki-esque bump), and fake nails. Way to go, America.

- Incredibly uncomfortable teacher chaperones. They stand along the wall at pre-determined intervals, waving awkwardly at students and faking smiles. They sip water, desperately wishing that it was whiskey. They scold themselves for sacrificing one of their precious weekend nights. They pretend not to notice their star student grinding it out on Jason's crotch.

- Water bottles filled with vodka. Smuggled in by students who feel rebellious, cool, and...drunk. I know that alcohol isn't necessary for dancing (I walk it out and Chinese typewriter with the best of them - 100% sober), but it does make it more interesting to watch.

- 2-3 accidental boners. Let's be honest. For some 17- or 18-year old boys, "Tonight (I'm Loving You)" by Enrique Iglesias is the closest they will come to getting any actual loving on Prom night. Grind away, kids. Get it out of your system.

- An awkward DJ that you wouldn't allow around your children if they weren't at a dance. In his late 30s, uses as much hair gel as the high school boys, throws glow sticks out during "Sandstorm." Unfortunately, these guys ogle teenage girls so shamelessly that it gives me a run for my money when I lick proposition Jordan Staal through the television...and I often sit on the TV screen.

- An empty Axe bottle. High school boys abuse cologne. I'm not sure if they think the commercial will actually come true and girls will start eating them like a chocolate bar or if they are trying to distract girls from the acne on their forehead. Either way, it's over-kill.

- That smell. I know this isn't something you can see, but you know exactly what I'm talking about. Sweat. Cologne. Armpits. Maybe one kid threw up. Later, when these students are in college, they will find that one seedy bar with the same familiar scent. Immediately, they will think, "Fall Homecoming 2004" and they will promptly exit said bar.

See what I mean? I wouldn't have traded my high school dance experiences for anything. For the most part, I had a great time with my best friends, took plenty of humiliating pictures, and have some good stories. I can say, however, that I wouldn't want to re-live them.

Spring Playlist

Do yourself a favor and listen to Ray LaMontagne. Seriously.

Between Ray and Explosions in the Sky, I have my spring playlist set. Windows down, music up.

...Oh yeah - I also love the new song from the Black Eyed Peas - "Just Can't Get Enough."

Wordless.

Some nights, I sit with the computer on my lap, staring at the blank screen for hours. I want the perfect words to come to me, to flow out of my fingertips with ease. I want to be witty, interesting, insightful, and entertaining. I want people to read my blog and laugh, cry, learn, relate. Some nights, no matter how hard I try, I have no words to share.

This is one of those nights.

An ounce of realism in movies.

There is absolutely no denying that I'm a movie buff. I love everything about them. In my opinion, there is no better way to escape from reality for a couple hours.

That being said, I often find myself pondering the unrealistic nature of some movie endings. You know - that moment when everything miraculously comes together for the perfectly forced 'happily ever after' moment. I've always wanted to write a completely realistic screenplay - one that people could relate to because...well, it'd be real. However, on second thought, I realized that no one would like that movie.

People watch movies for a number of reasons, but one of the main reasons is because most movies have a perfect ending. She finds prince charming. He saves the president's life. The underdog football team wins the big game. I'll admit it - I'm a sucker for a happy ending. Sometimes, however, these endings frustrate me.

So, I thought I would write some more realistic endings for movies that ended a little too perfectly. Enjoy.

The Sandlot - When Scotty Smalls and Benny 'the Jet' Rodriguez help "The Beast" escape from under the enormous fence that has fallen on him, the rabid dog doesn't have a change of heart. Instead, he darts out from under the fence and bites Benny on his throwing arm, a wound that requires 24 stitches and a rabies shot. Of course, Benny's parents threaten to sue old Mr. Mertle and, as a result, "The Beast" is euthanized. Angry about his injury, Benny bans Smalls from the sandlot for the rest of eternity, condemning him to a socially awkward life filled with nothing but homework and erector sets.

Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory - After Wonka throws his fit about Charlie and Grandpa Joe stealing a sip of the Fizzy Lifting Drink, he kicks them out of the factory. Terrified by what he has seen, Charlie leaves without returning the everlasting gobstopper. Grandpa Joe immediately goes to the authorities, where he details the ugly truth about William Wonka - he is responsible for the untimely death of four children. He is also found guilty of breaking a number of employment laws - he has forced slave labor from an entire race of people and the work environment in the candy factory falls far short of federal safety regulations. Shortly thereafter, Wonka is apprehended and sentenced to life in prison.

Titanic - After finding the floating wall panel that can only sustain one person's weight, Jack and Rose decide unselfishly to take turns lying on it. Unfortunately, this effort is futile: both suffer from severe hypothermia and die. (Either way, the necklace ends up on the seafloor)

Grease - After Sandy drastically changes her appearance and squeezes her way into the iconic black outfit, Danny decides that he wants someone else. Sandy was fun for the summer, but with graduation approaching, he knows a relationship is pointless...especially with someone who is pretending to be someone else in a desperate attempt to please him. Sandy is left at the fair, crying and clearly in the middle of an identity crisis. Rizzo admits to Kenickie that she is, in fact, pregnant. He promptly leaves her to raise the child on her own in a small town of judging eyes. (At least this avoids the cheesy flying car scene)

Never Been Kissed - After waiting until the clock expires for Sam to show up and sweep her off her feet, Josie stands on the baseball field, dejected and humiliated in front of the entire town. Depressed and alone, Josie swears men off altogether and becomes an alcoholic. After submitting multiple cynical, anti-male articles laced with expletives and death threats, she is fired from her job at the Chicago Sun-Times and hired at a local bar. During her tenure there, she creates a popular new cocktail that consists of Jose Cuervo, melted butter, and chili powder - a drink she calls the "Josie Grossie."

2012 - The world actually does end. No survivors. Not even John Cusack.

The Lion King - After Scar convinces Simba that he is responsible for the death of his father, Simba runs away in shame. He escapes the hyenas that Scar sends to kill him and collapses in the desert, starving and exhausted. Upon waking up, Simba runs across a meerkat and a particularly juicy-looking warthog. Although the duo seem to be singing a happy song, Simba is overtaken by his immense hunger and eats both animals. Meanwhile, Rafiki calls Scar a dick, summons the ghost of Mufasa to haunt the new tyrant, and leaves Pride Rock in search of other baby lions to dangle dangerously over the edge of a cliff.

How very Michael Jackson of Rafiki.

See what I mean? I can't imagine any of these would do very well in the box office.

Man Meat Monday #12

I tried to avoid this. I promise.

I briefly mentioned him in another entry in hopes of getting him out of my system. I missed a week of Man Meat, then I made my March Manness bracket. I tried my hardest to remove him from my subconscious, but I couldn't. So, my friends, it's yet another hockey player this Monday. He is, however, my first blonde honoree and he scored his 100th assist Saturday night. I give you...

Jordan Staal

Claim to Fame: Center and alternate captain for the Pittsburgh Penguins

Birthday: September 10, 1988

I didn't think I would fall for Jordan Staal. I was horribly wrong. Born and raised in Thunder Bay, Ontario, Jordan grew up in a family of hard-working sod farmers...who also happen to play a lot of hockey. His older brothers, Eric and Marc, play in the NHL while his younger brother, Jared, plays in the ECHL.

Drafted second overall in the 2006 NHL draft, Jordan set a number of records his rookie season, including the youngest player to score on a penalty shot and the youngest player to score a hat trick. Alongside his brother Eric, he won gold with Team Canada at the 2007 World Championships and won the Stanley Cup with the Penguins in 2009. He is known as a strong penalty killer with an impressive scoring touch. He can also have an incredibly Amish-looking beard...and awesome novelty t-shirts.


For good measure, I should include that he is 6'4" and 220 pounds. I might need a to-go box for those leftovers.

Random Tidbit: In 2007, Jordan (and Eric) was arrested at Eric's bachelor party for underage drinking. Oops. Want a picture?


Only downfall?: He feels obligated to wear clothes.


Come on. You know you're picturing him naked right there. He is making that shirt (and me) beg for its life.



So, readers: It's your turn. Is Staalsy worth a two-minute roughing penalty for you? I don't know about you, but...

Columbus Extravaganza!

Somehow, I convinced my mom to go with me to the Columbus Blue Jackets vs. Chicago Blackhawks game on Friday. After a long, stressful Craigslist search/debacle, we finally found two tickets (lower bowl for $25/ticket - not bad).

We met up with our ticket seller in front of Buca di Beppo. After a five minute search, she realized that she left our tickets at home. Shock. Tears. Horror. Still recovering from the NYC counterfeit ticket wound, I nearly swore off scalping forever. Luckily, the woman was a season ticket holder and had the arena print new tickets for us! Success. Faith in scalping = Restored.

Our seats were awesome. Lower bowl, Row S, faceoffs in our faces all night long. I wore my Rick Nash shersey, but secretly, I was rooting for the Blackhawks. They have a chance at the play-offs and I love me some Jonny Toews. Nash-ty didn't even play. Murr.


The game was essentially a home game for the Blackhawks. Nationwide Arena was filled 60% with Blackhawks fans. During Leo's national anthem, the Chicago fans cheered like maniacs...because that's what they do in Chicago. Columbus fans didn't get it or appreciate it.


The game was intense and awesome to watch. Chicago shot out to a two-goal lead with goals from Patrick Kane and Brent Seabrook. Columbus, however, had pride on the line and tied it up with goals from Mayorov and Brassard.

The third period saw goals from Chicago's Bickell and Columbus's Pahlsson. The game went into overtime, then a shootout. Both Tazer and Kaner were stopped, but Stalberg scored the shootout-winning goal for Chicago (4-3). Like a good Blue Jackets fan, I pretended to be devastated.


I had a great time with my mom at my last hockey game of the season...and my first Jonathan Toews stalkfest. Prepare for many more.

Blogging Hiatus

After much consideration, I have decided to make a very hard choice: I've decided to stop blogging for now.

I absolutely love the blogosphere and my wonderful blog friends. Writing is extremely cathartic for me. In fact, I've found that I write much better than I talk. My blog allows me to rant, rave, complain, brag, share, remember, and express myself. It has helped me cope with tough times and remember great ones.

However, I spend too much time blogging. In fact, I often find myself thinking, "That would be great for my blog" or "What should I blog about tonight?" I find myself at a difficult crossroad in my life. I'm unemployed, living at home, and I have been since May of last year. It's time to get a move on.

If I dedicated all of my blogging time to finding a job and an apartment, I would be well on my way by now. So, I've decided to put my beloved blog on hiatus for the time being...at least until I get my life on track.

So, until then, goodbye, my beloved readers.

...APRIL FOOLS! Ha - yeah right. Who am I kidding? I would never stop blogging, especially not for the sole purpose of finding a job. Figured I should pull at least one prank today.

But, seriously - I'm going to the Blue Jackets vs. Blackhawks game tonight. Do you think I'd get away with scaling the glass, sliding over to Jonathan Toews and/or Rick Nash, tearing off their jerseys, and straddling them on the ice if I ended it all with "APRIL FOOLS!"?

...no? Me either.