No better time than September for a Christmas story.

Since I don't have much to say, I thought I'd tell you a good story.

About five years ago, my family went to a local dinner theater around Christmastime to see a play. During the dinner portion, we started talking about Christmas, our favorite holiday traditions, the best Christmas movies, the annual fake vs. real tree debate, etc.

Somehow, the name Kris Kringle was mentioned in passing. Instantly, I noticed the looks of blatant confusion on both of my younger siblings' faces. The conversation eventually strayed to something else, but I couldn't move on. I started to wonder: Is it possible for a 16- and a 15-year-old to not know who Kris Kringle is?

You see, my role in the Johnson household is to expose the embarrassing details of my family members for the sake of my own amusement. Being the exploitative big sister I am, I had to confront them.

Me: Wait. Hold on, hold on. Do you guys not know who Kris Kringle is?

LP (playing it smart and covering his bases): Well, he sounds familiar.

Jamie: Isn't he a football player? Like the quarterback for Ohio State or something?

I lost my mind. To this day, I'm not entirely sure why my 16-year-old sister thought Kris Kringle was a collegiate-level football player, let alone an athlete of any kind. The only explanation I can come up with involves Craig Krenzel, the starting quarterback for OSU when they won the national championship in 2002.

I don't know how she came up with that guess, but I'm certainly glad she did. In fact, Jamie should probably have a highlight reel of all her classic one-liners. I think I might start working on it now and give it to her for Christmas.


I'll put this in her stocking.