Partying in a city on the ocean.

Charleston pictures still aren't on my computer, so I've decided to do a couple simple posts on the cruise I took with my sister and parents...last May. Better late than never? Truth be told, I've been hesitant to write about the trip for a couple reasons. It was the last vacation I took with my mom and even worse, it was also kind of the beginning of the end for her.

With about three days left on the cruise, she started experiencing horrific stomach pain that not only forced her to spend the bulk of her time in the cabin, but also sent her on a couple trips to the ship infirmary (to no avail). The cancer was causing intestinal blockages, so she was unable to eat without extreme pain and vomiting. This would only worsen over the coming months, leading to a botched surgery and her complete reliance on IV nutrition. We spent the last couple days of the vacation in a borderline-dysfunctional state of worry and anxiety that really hindered our ability to relax and enjoy the trip.

But BEFORE that happened, we had a truly amazing time together. I had never been on a cruise before and I was absolutely blown away by the convenience, activities, and amenities on the ship itself. We set sail on Royal Caribbean's Allure of the Seas and now I feel downright spoiled by the experience. There was no shortage of things to do on the ship and it took us a few days to even see the entire thing!

Today, I'll focus on the ship itself. My sister and I shared a room while my parents shared the room next to us. We each had a balcony overlooking the boardwalk with a view of the back of the ship and the AquaTheater. When I say the ship was crazy, I mean THE SHIP WAS CRAZY. Here's what we could do on our glorious days at sea:

- Pools and water park. We spent most of our pool time in the adults-only, relaxing solarium, but there was also a legit water park for kids. Throughout the cruise, the crew hosted dance parties and other events on the pool deck and that was also my go-to spot for soft serve ice cream. There was a FlowRider surf simulator that we didn't have time to try, but we did watch the experts perform a show on it.

Solarium.

- AquaTheater. This theater hosted two different water-related, Cirque du Soleil-type shows that featured high diving and acrobatics. It also boasted an enormous projection screen that was used to show movies throughout the day.

- Ice skating rink and comedy club. We didn't have time to skate ourselves, but we attended an impressive ice skating show one evening and watched some stand-up comedy another night.

- Gym, spa, and outdoor track. Jamie and I admired the ocean views and did quite a few laps on the outdoor track that followed the perimeter of the entire ship.

- Bars and restaurants. Too many to name. Some included in the price of the cruise, others not. Some buffet-style, others a la carte. A 24-hour pizza place, a bakery, a Ben & Jerry's, a Mexican restaurant, a steakhouse, an upscale Italian spot, a candy shop, massive buffets, Starbucks, a sushi joint, Johnny Rockets, a hot dog restaurant, and more. The bars were just as varied - a salsa dancing bar, a piano bar, an English pub, a sports bar, a champagne bar, a dance club, a bar that moved up and down from one level to another, etc. Anything you can imagine was probably on this ship.

Sample menu from one night at dinner. Different options every night!

- Main Theater. This indoor theater hosted a Broadway-quality production of Mamma Mia!, a Beatles tribute band, a Newlywed show, and original shows put on by Royal Caribbean.

- Outdoor sports park. This area of the ship had basketball and volleyball courts, putt-putt golf, ping pong tables, an enormous rock climbing wall, etc. There was also a zip line that went from one side of the ship to the other, but we didn't have time to try that.

- Casino, arcade, library, and art gallery. Pretty self-explanatory. The art gallery hosted art auctions a couple times throughout the cruise.

 - Carousel and Boardwalk. Channeling a Coney Island-like feel, this part of the ship (which we could see from our balcony) housed a big carousel, the Johnny Rockets, the candy shop, the Mexican restaurant, and the hot dog restaurant.

- Central Park. This stunning part of the ship honestly looked like an outdoor park with massive trees, garden tours, and piped-in cricket sounds for the full effect.

Live music. Tons of trivia shows. Towel folding classes. People dressed as characters (Jack Sparrow, Puss in Boots, etc.). Wine tasting. Dance lessons. Outdoor movie nights. Cooking classes. Game shows. Parades. Scrapbooking. Themed parties. Bingo. Shopping on the promenade. Karaoke. Unlimited Diet Dr. Pepper.

That's the bar that traveled up and down between various decks.

We also happened to be on the cruise during Cinco de Mayo, so the culinary staff made the biggest cake I've ever seen in celebration. There was also a Cinco de Mayo fiesta on the promenade.

You truly didn't have enough time to experience everything on the ship.

...and the dinners. Oh, the dinners. We chose to set reservation times for dinner in the main dining room each night. We had a table to ourselves, the same hilarious waiter every evening, and a delicious three-course meal (that you could order seconds of!).

Have I convinced you to peruse the Royal Caribbean site yet?

I'll be back soon with a post on the ports we hit.

I touched Marcus Mumford.

Here's the deal with my Charleston posts - I don't have the pictures on my ridiculously slow laptop yet. They're on Wheat's computer, but he's currently gallivanting around the country with the Pacers, so those posts will have to wait. Instead, you get a post about some of the fun things I've done lately because, as I mentioned in my last post, this blog is a mostly narcissistic venture.

On St. Patrick's Day weekend, Jenn came to visit and we spent most of our time talking, laughing, eating, and seeing My Favorite Murder live for the second time. The show, which was held at the Murat, was even better than the last one we attended, partly because I was already vaguely familiar with one of the stories. They discussed the Richmond Hill explosion (which happened shortly after I moved to Indianapolis in 2012) and the 1977 murder of eccentric millionaire Marjorie Jackson. Though our seats were in the stratosphere this time, we loved spending a couple hours with Karen, Georgia, and a couple thousand of our fellow murderinos.

After I complained about not having plans last weekend (crybaby much?), Wheat made a spontaneous decision to buy us tickets to see my queen, Kelly Clarkson, on Friday. Brynn Cartelli, the season 14 winner of The Voice who was on Kelly's team, opened followed by Kelsea Ballerini. I don't know many of her songs, but she was an enjoyable opener before the main event.

As always, Kelly was stunning. Her voice is unbelievable and she's had such a long, successful career that her concerts are just a journey through her biggest hits. She's also very funny and relatable, so I can't wait to check out her talk show that's coming out this fall. Blame it on the pregnancy hormones, but I even found myself crying during her performance of "Piece by Piece." Here was her awesome setlist:

A Moment Like This
Meaning of Life
Walk Away
Love So Soft
Whole Lotta Woman
Behind These Hazel Eyes
Breakaway
Piece by Piece
A Minute and a Glass of Wine
Rise Up - Andra Day cover
Run Run Run (with D.R. King, another season 14 member of Team Kelly on The Voice)
My Life Would Suck Without You
Heat
Heartbeat Song
Miss Independent (with Brynn Cartelli and Kelsea Ballerini, who was wearing a Kelly Clarkson t-shirt!)

It's Quiet Uptown - Lin-Manuel Miranda cover (from Hamilton)
Never Enough - Loren Allred cover (from The Greatest Showman)
Stronger
Since U Been Gone

Already completely reeling in concert heaven, Wheat and I also had tickets to see Mumford and Sons, one of our absolute favorite bands, on Monday. Guys, words are not sufficient to describe the show. For me, Mumford is almost a spiritual experience, one where I get completely caught up in the music and lose track of time and place. We splurged for good seats this time around and it was honestly the best decision we've made in a while. Cat Power opened the show nicely, but nothing could have properly prepared us for Mumford's phenomenal set. The stage was placed in the center of the arena, which allowed the band members to move around and give us different vantage points. Just like last time, Marcus Mumford's voice melted me into a puddle on the floor and I was amazed by his ability to seamlessly switch between guitar and drums throughout the show.

Earlier that day, Mumford played a small, private event at a record store in Broad Ripple and though I tried desperately to win tickets, it wasn't meant to be. However, during "Ditmas" at our show, Marcus jumped into the crowd and ran up the aisle in the section next to us. He continued up the stairs to the concourse and actually chose to GO BACK DOWN OUR AISLE. Side note: Luck would have it that we had the aisle seats. Not only did he decide to use our aisle on the way back down to the stage, but he actually stopped RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME to sing for a bit. I'm still not entirely sure if I survived the event. This could be my ghost writing now. Like a total creep, I reached out and touched his back and then promptly blacked out for the next two songs. Oops.

View this post on Instagram

When Marcus Mumford makes your life and gives you a heart attack. Yes, I touched him. 😍

A post shared by Brittany Hotchkiss (@blettany) on Mar 25, 2019 at 6:45pm PDT

The show had everything you'd ever want - pyrotechnics, an over-zealous upright bass player, foot-stomping anthems, and confetti rain during the final song. Our poor child probably has whiplash from all the bouncing around I did. Here was the setlist:

Guiding Light
Little Lion Man
Holland Road
The Cave
Beloved
Tompkins Square Park
Ditmas
Lover of the Light
Believe
Picture You
Darkness Visible
The Wolf

Timshel (performed around a single microphone in the club level)
Forever (performed around a single microphone in the club level)
Hurt - Nine Inch Nails cover
If I Say
Slip Away
Awake My Soul
I Will Wait
Delta

Just ridiculous and I'm still recovering. The last couple weeks have also involved me battling a cold, Jordan Peele's Us, a losing trip to the local casino, an overdue pedicure, and lots of sleep. Lots of exciting things coming up, so I'm just trying to hold on for dear life.

Oh baby, baby...

I know I promised you Charleston posts, but today, I'm going to be very self-indulgent and give you a pregnancy update instead. Having a blog in the first place is a pretty narcissistic venture, so why not give the people what they want? ...and by the people, I mean me...to look back on someday as a keepsake.

I am quickly approaching 23 weeks pregnant(!). For those of you who don't know what that means (like me five months ago), I'm a little over halfway done cooking. My due date is July 13th and so far, so good. I feel like I can't complain because it has been relatively smooth physical sailing. A little nausea in the first trimester, but virtually no throwing up. I can't brush my teeth without gagging, I get winded walking up the stairs at work, and I feel like someone gave me a horse tranquilizer every morning, but that's about it.

Unfortunately, I am having some blood pressure issues, but it's being managed closely by an army of doctors and I'm hopeful we get the right medication combination soon. I had high blood pressure before pregnancy, but it was always managed appropriately with medicine. The entrance of this tiny one threw things out of whack and I'm sure this is just the first of MANY things she'll be rearranging in our lives.

I feel her kicking around in there a lot these days and Wheat has been able to catch it a couple times, too. It still hasn't really sunk in yet that there is a tiny human being inside of me, but maybe it never will.

We finally opened a registry for her last weekend and oh my word. Talk about overwhelming. How can there be so many choices for strollers? How do they possibly manufacture that many different baby monitors? How do you know you're picking the right one? The nice lady at the store told us you can't really make the wrong choice, so I'm banking on that being true. Fingers crossed.

I only cried once while walking through Buy Buy Baby and it wasn't because I was overwhelmed by cribs and diaper pails. In the front of the store, there was a display with top books for babies and one of them, How Do I Love You?, caught my eye. My mom gave it to me a few years ago as a gift. Just because she loved me. A children's board book with padded covers and bright, colorful illustrations. She gave it to her 20-something daughter to tell her how much she loved her. I still have it in my bedroom at home. I absolutely lost it. I can't believe I'm doing this without her. I can't believe she isn't here to walk this road with me and show my daughter how much she loves her, too. It isn't fair.

So far, the biggest challenge for me during pregnancy has been my emotions. I've heard women talk about pregnancy hormones and mood swings (and I'm sure that isn't helping matters), but that's not what I mean. I just feel...crushed. I constantly think about my mom and how badly I need her. When I do experience a moment of joy, I'm almost instantly sucked back into grief because she isn't here to share it with me. When does this start to feel better? When do I find peace in her absence, understanding in my pain? I'm a motherless daughter about to have a daughter of her own.

The only solace I can find is in the knowledge that everything I do as a mother (or an expectant one) will be because I learned it from her. She is, and will always be, part of me and how lucky is that? I literally have the most magnificent mother and teacher in my genes...so I'm bound to figure this out, right? The greatest gift I ever received was being her daughter and I can't wait to show mine what she showed me.

...and now I'm sobbing, so I'll close with a more traditional bumpdate. Oh yeah - it's a total bummer being pregnant and overweight because NO ONE CAN TELL YOU'RE PREGNANT. It's obvious to me, but no kindness from strangers in the airport, no cute baby bump pictures each week. Here's what you get instead:

Taken at our first appointment (10 weeks)

Food Cravings/Aversions: Sour cream at first, but that's always a craving for me. I'm really digging fruit, fries, and Indian food. So strange. No aversions really. I feel like I'm hungry all the time.

Maternity Clothes: Yep. Caved and bought a pair of stretchy jeans from Lane Bryant a couple weeks ago.

Sleep: Always. I'm able to fall asleep at the drop of a hat and I haven't been too uncomfortable, either. I do wake up in the middle of the night to use the restroom now, though.

Travel: Since finding out I was pregnant, this baby has been to Kansas City, Raleigh, Cincinnati, and Charleston for our babymoon. Starting her early.

Gender Reveal: We went to my dad's house and Wheat kicked a football filled with pink powder while we video chatted our loved ones in other states. It was simple, but perfect for us.

Looking Forward To: Setting things up for her in our one-bedroom apartment. At first, I felt very worried we wouldn't have enough space, but I'm feeling better now that we've registered for some major items.

Missing: Besides my mom? Deli meat sandwiches. I think I'm the only person on the planet who is daydreaming about Subway.

Wheat: Is a rockstar, but is anyone surprised by that? He's even more doting than usual - which is saying a lot - and he talks to my belly every day. I cannot wait to see him be a dad.

The Buck Stops with Patrick Mahomes.

When Wheat and I plan a trip somewhere, this is normally how it goes:

Me: I wanna go somewhere.
Wheat: You always want to go somewhere. Where do you want to go?
Me: I don't care. Somewhere new. Get on Southwest and see what's cheap.

**end scene**

This is literally how we decided on Kansas City. Once we started our research, we realized we would be in town during a Chiefs home game and we were sold. Superhero quarterback Patrick Mahomes was my fantasy quarterback and I was amped to see him do his thing at Arrowhead Stadium. Supposedly, Arrowhead is one of the loudest NFL stadiums and I can definitely confirm it seemed that way to me.

In the end, the Chiefs defeated the Arizona Cardinals, 26-14, in a game that was much closer than we anticipated it would be. It's always fun to check out new stadiums and it felt good to mark another one off the list.

When the game was over, we decided to head back to the art museum and take a deeper dive into the galleries. I mean, this place has Monet's Water Lilies and Caravaggio's Saint John the Baptist in the Wilderness, not to mention a nice collection of Warhol art. We also took the opportunity to play outside in the freshly fallen yellow leaves.

After a brief break in the hotel room, we made our way to dinner at a...YOU GUESSED IT...barbecue place. This time, we went with the one all our Uber drivers were suggesting, Jack Stack. It still didn't quite live up to Joe's for us, but can you go wrong with this?

The next morning, we had a little time to kill before our flight home, so we decided to check out our third presidential library together, the Harry S. Truman Presidential Library in nearby Independence, Missouri. As usual, these history nerds had a blast learning about his presidency and life, from his service in WWI to his decision to drop the atomic bomb. Like the other libraries, this one also had a recreation of his Oval Office, as well as notable personal items on display (including his 1941 Chrysler Royal Club Coupe). Highlights for me included the famous "The Buck Stops Here" sign that resided on his desk and an original copy of the mistaken "Dewey Defeats Truman" headline from the Chicago Daily Tribune. He and his wife (Bess) are both buried on the grounds and there is an eternal flame on display, as well.

...and just like that, our dreamy whirlwind trip was over...and I started inquiring about the next one. Soon to come: Charleston, South Carolina!

What up, KC?

If you've known me for some time, you've probably heard me say, "There are hidden treasures everywhere." I say this because it's remarkably true! You don't have to be in New York, Las Vegas, or Chicago to find something awesome to do. Kansas City was the perfect case in point...

Our second day in the city started with a trip to the Negro Leagues Baseball Museum. As sports fiends, we enjoyed wandering through the museum and learning about the history of the Negro Leagues and its notable players - names like Josh Gibson, Satchel Paige, Cool Papa Bell, Rube Foster, and of course, Jackie Robinson. By happy accident, we happened to be there on the 107th birthday of Buck O'Neil, a famous player for the Kansas City Monarchs who later became the first African-American coach in Major League Baseball. In honor of his birthday, the museum was hosting an event with speakers that discussed him and his impact on baseball.

Once we'd worked up an appetite, we made our way to the next barbecue joint on our list - Gates BBQ. We definitely preferred Joe's, but it probably means something that I'd already eaten half of my food by the time I remembered to take a picture. Oops.

With full stomachs, we decided to check out the Power & Light District, a dining and entertainment district downtown. It should come as no surprise that our first stop while there was The College Basketball Experience, the interactive home of men's college basketball that also houses the National Collegiate Basketball Hall of Fame. This place was half museum, half basketball gym and we spent most of our time shooting around and doing drills. Wheat loved the exhibit on Cinderella teams, which, of course, highlighted Davidson and Steph Curry.

After working up a sweat, we decided to cool down with a stroll through one of KC's crown jewels - the Nelson-Atkins Museum of Art. I had no idea, but this is one of the best art museums in the country and it didn't take long to figure out why. I was absolutely blown away by the world-class galleries and the beautiful grounds (which included the famous shuttlecocks). We arrived shortly before closing time, so we vowed to make a return visit before heading home.

There was a special exhibit on the Day of the Dead that really hit home for me. You could leave messages for your departed loved ones and we made sure to leave a couple for my mom. In fact, she became the first person to know we were expecting. There were butterflies and flowers, two of my mom's favorite things, all over the display and it truly felt like we stumbled across it for a reason.

When the museum closed, we went back to our hotel to rest before heading to Chuy's for dinner. We ended the night with another soak in the whirlpool while watching Saturday Night Live.

As promised, I'll condense the next two days into one post. I told you - Kansas City has a lot to offer.

It's a...Trip to Kansas City!

Well, we got some big news this weekend...

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Brittany Hotchkiss (@blettany) on Feb 23, 2019 at 3:59pm PST

More to come on that later, but in the meantime...

There's nothing you love more than a vacation recap that's three months late, right? Well, you're in luck...because three months ago, Wheat and I ventured to Kansas City for some history, football, and barbecue. We actually found out we were expecting the day that we boarded our flight, so we spent the next three days enjoying each other's company and letting the exciting news sink in. Side note: It still really hasn't.

We started our first real day in the city the best way I know how: EATING. And we chose an absolute gem for our first barbecue of the trip. The original Joe's Bar-B-Que is actually situated in a gas station and the line stretching out the door and around the building is your first clue that you've made the right choice. Anthony Bourdain named this place one of the 13 places you need to eat before you die and with good reason. I went with the pulled pork sandwich and Kansas caviar while Wheat opted for the Z-Man (brisket, cheese, and onion rings) and the most delicious french fries I've ever had. Folks, that's high praise.

Once we'd had our fill, we made our way to the Federal Reserve Bank of Kansas City to walk through the money museum, check out the coin collection, and get our souvenir bag of shredded cash.

From there, it was a quick walk over to the National World War I Museum. We happened to be in town for the 100th anniversary of Armistice Day, the day that marks the end of World War I, so admission was half-price and there were several special events scheduled to mark the occasion. The museum was incredible and I'd say it's a must for anyone visiting the city. We spent several hours wandering through the exhibits, learning about the political climate and events that led to the war and feeling pretty mortified by the horrors of the conflict. Museum highlights for me included the trenches they've recreated to put you in the shoes of the soldiers and the haunting field of poppies that reference John McCrae's famous war poem "In Flanders Fields."

When the museum closed, we walked to Union Station to check out the gorgeous interior and Christmas decorations before getting ice cream at Crown Center nearby. As we left to call an Uber, we noticed that poppies had been projected onto the facade of the World War I museum in honor of Armistice Day, a sobering tribute to those lost in the Great War.

The rest of our night was spent at a romantic dinner at The Melting Pot (can you believe I'd never been there before?!) and soaking in the whirlpool in our hotel room.

I'll try to condense the next couple days into one post because Charleston posts are also on the horizon. See what you get when you take blogging breaks?

Where to begin...

**taps mic**

Is this thing still on?

The prospect of writing this post has been hanging over my head for months. I'm honestly not even sure how to approach it, but I had a rare dream last night that involved me blogging, so I figured it was time.

The last six months of my life have been...unbelievable. Unfortunately, I don't mean that in the good sense of the word - I mean I simply CANNOT BELIEVE OR ACCEPT WHAT HAS HAPPENED. Life has the strangest way of sending you to the most fun amusement park, filling you with delicious ice cream, then forcing you to ride roller coasters that flip you upside down and spin you around until you're puking your guts out and wishing you'd just stayed home in the first place.

At 6:11 AM on September 11, 2018, my Mommles died. My best friend, my hero, my teacher, my person. She died after spending nearly a month without food in hospice, thanks to the stage IV colon cancer she'd been fighting for the past five years. My sister and I were there with her when she left, but the last week of her life traumatized me in a way I didn't know was possible. I simultaneously have so much to say and nothing to say at all and I've learned over the last few months that that dichotomy is exactly how grief works.

Oh yeah, and I'm almost 20 weeks pregnant. You know that life has been chaos when your FIRST EVER pregnancy is the second thing you mention in a life update. Wheat and I are beyond thrilled to be parents, but you know that dichotomy I mentioned up there? The journey has been bittersweet so far, to say the least. We found out we were expecting less than a month after Mommles left and my heart shatters to think she won't be here for this.

I hope to write a lot more about both of these things, but man - life doesn't stop for anything. You have no choice but to move forward. It isn't the way you want it to be, it isn't the way you thought it would be, but you have no choice. Everyone moves on and even though you're drowning in grief, you wake up and go to work. You do your chores and run your errands and smile at strangers because that's what you have to do. You have no choice.

...and this barely scratches the surface of my life for the last few months. Here's proof:

• I met Wheat in Las Vegas for a few days during NBA summer league.
• We went to Chicago to celebrate Hannah's baby shower and spend time with friends.
• Wheat and I attended the 100th PGA Championship at Bellerive in St. Louis.
• I joined a six-week grief group for young adults and it was a wonderful decision.
• We met Wheat's parents for one night in Cleveland, which we filled with an Indians game and a trip to the Pro Football Hall of Fame in Canton.
• The weekend we found out we were pregnant, we went to Kansas City for lots of barbecue, history, and whirlpool soaking.
• I went to Raleigh for a long weekend to visit my sister and Denny and see their new place.
• Wheat and I spent our babymoon in Charleston - posts to come.
• We saw Dave Matthews Band (twice), Book of Mormon, A Christmas Carol, Maroon 5 with Julia Michaels, One Republic at Big Ten Fest, Chris Kattan (in Raleigh), and Clint and Breann get married.

So, this roller coaster keeps rolling and I'm just trying my best to keep my food down. I'm going to try to start blogging again because Mommles loved my little corner of the internet and I know you've missed me and all my sexy metaphors.