Sawyer's birth story!

Warning: This post may contain details you don't want to read regarding the birth process. If you're squeamish, I'd suggest skipping it. You've been warned...

When we arrived at the hospital, our first order of business was registering and filling out paperwork. The process didn't take long, but I kept wondering how it would be handled if I was in active labor. A perk of having a scheduled induction, I suppose.

After checking in, we were taken to our hospital suite, which was actually the same room we saw on the tour during our Birth and Baby class. We settled in, I got into my hospital gown, and the nurses came in to hook me up to an IV. This, as always, was a nightmare. I must have the world's smallest, most stubborn veins because it took them FOUR tries to get it. I was in tears by attempt three, but they finally got it on my right hand.

At this point, they told me they were going to check my glucose level and if it was too high, they would have to insert another IV to start me on insulin. CUE THE PANIC. Had I known that was a possibility, I never would have eaten the table bread and mashed potatoes at St. Elmo's. Fortunately, my number was fine and I started wondering why I hadn't been eating potatoes the last couple months, instead.

The nurses also started me on Cytotec, a medicine inserted vaginally to soften the cervix and start labor. Once that was done, they checked my vitals and left us alone for a few hours. They came back every three hours to check my cervix and insert more Cytotec. We tried to get a little sleep - Wheat on a recliner and me in the hospital bed - but we were both so anxious I don't think we were very successful.

After three or four doses of Cytotec, my obstetrician arrived around 7:00 AM. She checked my cervix and I was only dilated 1.5 centimeters. At this point, I was feeling contractions and thanks to the Cytotec, there weren't any breaks between them. Instead of having time to relax and recover when one contraction ended, I was going straight into the next one. I asked for some pain medicine in my IV, which provided some relief but wore off very quickly.

Since I was only 1.5 centimeters dilated, my doctor decided to insert a balloon (Foley ball) to manually stretch the cervix. This was absolutely excruciating. I literally sobbed as it was placed. From this point, the next hour or two is a blur of tears, contraction pain, and the nurse gradually filling the balloon with water and checking my cervix. At some point, I was only dilated three centimeters and couldn't believe I had to get to 10 before pushing. The contractions were relentless and I laid on the bed crying as Wheat urged me to get the epidural.

He was right. It wasn't long before I caved and asked for the epidural. The procedure was much easier than I thought it would be. The anesthesiologist cleaned and numbed my back while I sat on the edge of the bed and leaned forward. He then inserted the needle and administered the epidural. I was amazed at how little pain I felt. It was mostly just pressure and discomfort...and worth every second. If there is one thing I can recommend during labor, it's the epidural. Once it kicked in, I felt like a brand new person, able to talk and laugh and rest.

At this point, the doctor started me on pitocin to really get labor rolling. She also removed the balloon and within an hour, I was seven centimeters dilated. I barely felt anything - just tightness in my stomach during the contractions. Again, epidurals are glorious.

Here's where the day got interesting.

My dad called to say that he'd arrived, so Wheat left to meet him. I was still feeling really good and wanted to spend time with him before I started pushing. My doctor came in and broke my water and by her reaction, I could immediately tell something was wrong. She started talking to the nurses about the blood and clots that came out. Around this time, Sawyer's heartbeat started to dip with every contraction. Suddenly, a team of nurses swarmed me and jumped into action. An oxygen mask was on my face, I got a shot in my arm to slow my heart rate down, and the doctor attached a heart rate monitor to the top of Sawyer's head to get a more accurate reading. Wheat and my dad tried to come in, but the nurses told them to wait outside. I was terrified.

Eventually, Wheat was allowed back in and the nurses told us they were worried about placenta abruption, an emergency situation where the placenta separates from the uterus. This was the first time they mentioned the possibility of a c-section. However, when they stopped the pitocin, Sawyer's heart rate got back under control. Things started to calm down and I tried to relax after all the chaos.

But the lull in the action didn't last long.

Periodically, the nurses would check my glucose level (thanks to the gestational diabetes). Since I hadn't eaten, my number was low and the nurse brought me grape juice. When I finished drinking it, she retested it...and my number was even lower. I had another grape juice. Fortunately, my number went up just enough to avoid another IV.

However, when they restarted the pitocin, Sawyer's heart rate began to dip again. At this point, the doctor was concerned about Sawyer and why she wasn't tolerating contractions. They told me I would need to have an unplanned c-section to ensure her safety. Again, I was terrified, but signed a consent for the procedure.

Nurses sprang to action, preparing me for surgery. Since I already had an epidural, the stuff necessary for numbing me was already in place. Another anesthesiologist came in and completely numbed my lower half. Wheat wasn't allowed to come with me for surgery preparation, so they told him to wait and get dressed in scrubs while they wheeled me into the operating room. At this point, I started to feel extremely nauseous and shake uncontrollably. I tried to warn the nurses a couple times before turning my head and throwing grape juice up all over myself and the operating room floor. Oops.

After what seemed like an eternity, Wheat was ushered into the room. They raised a curtain at my chest level and started the procedure. Everything felt like such a blur as I continued to convulse (they later told me it was all the hormones from labor that caused the shaking). I felt a lot of pressure and even a little pain, but Wheat kept talking to me and letting the anesthesiologist know how I was feeling. I was borderline out of it at this point, but I vividly remember Wheat saying, "Oh my god. She's here." as the doctor pulled Sawyer out. It was 3:41 PM.

She let out a scream and I finally felt a semblance of calm. The doctor announced that the umbilical cord had been wrapped around her neck twice, which was causing the heart rate issues during contractions. Thank goodness for adaptable, vigilant doctors and nurses, right?

It was still quite a while before I could even see her, but Wheat walked over to take a couple pictures of her as they cleaned her up and took her measurements. I still felt incredibly nauseous and was shaking, but eventually, they handed her to Wheat and he brought her over to me. I wish I could say a feeling of love and gratitude washed over me, but I was still completely overwhelmed and shell-shocked. The doctor removed the placenta (good riddance) and stitched me up, then they put her in my arms and let me hold her for the first time as they wheeled me back into our suite.

Next up: Our days in the hospital...and the complications that came.

Induction Day Date!

SHE'S HERE!

In fact, she's been here...for almost two months. Does it surprise you that I've dropped the blogging ball? On July 2nd at 3:41 PM, Sawyer Lynn made her long-awaited appearance at 6 pounds, 6.8 ounces and 20 inches long. But I'm getting ahead of myself.

First, I'd like to share how Wheat and I spent the day leading up to my induction. Wheat, always the hopeless romantic, came up with the amazing idea that we should both take off work and have a day-long date to celebrate our daughter's upcoming arrival. Swoon.

The morning we were set to report for induction, we woke up early so I could get a pedicure. I highly recommend this to anyone who is about to have a baby, as toe (and most body) maintenance falls by the wayside for a few weeks. With fresh toes, we rushed to the IMAX theater at the Indiana State Museum to watch Turtle Odyssey, a 3D film narrated by Russell Crowe that follows a green sea turtle from a hatchling into adulthood.

After the movie, we went to the mall food court for some Chick-fil-A before heading to the canal to rent a paddle boat. Although it was roasting hot that day, we had an amazing time paddling up to our apartment complex and back, admiring our backyard from a different vantage point. There was something so special about it just being us, taking in the gorgeous views of the canal that we walk along nearly every day and reflecting on the amazing life we've built together in that space.

Drenched in sweat, we decided to hop in our apartment pool before heading to dinner. Another thing I highly recommend to any heavily pregnant ladies out there - a float in the pool truly feels like you're defying gravity after carrying your belly around all day.

After a quick shower, we made our way to St. Elmo's Steakhouse for our celebratory "last supper." Once you arrive at the hospital for an induction, you aren't allowed to eat until the baby has arrived, so we decided to splurge for our last meal. We each ordered steak and mashed potatoes (despite my gestational diabetes), while I had navy bean soup as a starter and Wheat had lobster bisque. When our waitress asked if we were celebrating anything, it was fun to see the look on her face when we said we were reporting for induction in an hour. Thanks to my diabetes, we turned down dessert, but the waitress insisted and gave us a complimentary slice of peach-blueberry pie to eat when we got home from the hospital.

...and just like that, we were headed to the hospital with bags packed for a 7:00 PM induction. I was very anxious, but also so grateful to have closed out that chapter of our life in such a meaningful way - together, enjoying each other's company in the city where we met and the place we've made home.

Next up is the birth story, so buckle up.

A baby's coming!

Guys. On Saturday, I will be 33 weeks pregnant. 33 weeks.

To put that into perspective, the doctor said they will likely induce me by 38 weeks. That means Wheat and I have five more weeks to get ready. I REPEAT - FIVE MORE WEEKS.

Are we ready? Not even close. We're still slowly chipping away at the incredible baby shower gifts we've received, finding spots for them in our one-bedroom apartment and purging things we don't need anymore. Babies are small, but man, they come with a lot of stuff.

We haven't set up the bassinet, installed the car seat, or found a pediatrician for the little one. We've applied to day cares that have year-long waiting lists - I wish I was exaggerating. And though I'm totally freaked out by all the changes coming, I'm also starting to get excited.

27 weeks, 6 days. Poor girl might have her mom's overbite.

So, how is the pregnancy going?

My short answer is fine. When people ask me how I'm feeling, my answer is honestly good. I don't feel bad, especially compared to some of the horror stories I've heard. I'm not really swelling, I walk all the time, and I don't really feel like I can complain. I'm definitely slowing down - it's getting harder to stand up, bend over, walk around, etc. I'm feeling some pelvic pain and sleep is getting more uncomfortable, but in the grand scheme of things? I'm pretty lucky.

However.

A few weeks ago, I failed my glucose test. This meant I had to take another glucose test, one that lasted three hours and included four blood draws. Unfortunately, I failed that one, too, which means I've been officially diagnosed with gestational diabetes. The good news is that this goes away for almost all pregnant women once the baby is born. The bad news is that until she comes, I am pricking my finger four times a day and keeping track of my blood sugar. This also means I'm eating like a rabbit on a borderline keto diet and haven't had bread, pizza, fries, ice cream, etc. in over three weeks and counting.

I'll be honest - I had a bit of a meltdown when I was first diagnosed. I've never really paid attention to my diet and now I'm extremely limited on what and when I can eat. So far, I've been able to keep my numbers under control with diet and exercise (which means no insulin shots!), but it really sucks. Pregnancy cravings are a thing of the past.

The gestational diabetes, coupled with my high blood pressure (which is also being well-controlled with medicine for now), mean that I'm considered a high-risk pregnancy. Because of that, I have at least three appointments every week until the baby comes. As you can probably imagine, that's not very convenient for a person with a full-time job.

So, I guess the real answer to how my pregnancy is going is complicated. On one hand, I feel pretty lucky. On the other hand, I want to punch my placenta and pancreas and dive headfirst into a giant Wendy's frosty. The good news? I mentioned up there - only FIVE MORE WEEKS.

Some traditional bumpdate stuff because I'm nothing if not basic:

Food Cravings/Aversions: Yes, but I can't indulge them. I've been eating so many salads and here's a serious question - is there such a thing as eating too much avocado?

Maternity Clothes: Nope. Nothing more than the stretchy pair of jeans I bought a couple months ago. People are shocked I'm still wearing jeans every day. Perk of being overweight, maybe?

Sleep: It's getting tougher and tougher to get comfortable. I wake up several times in the night, but I read that that is my body preparing me for what's to come. Kinda cool.

Baby Shower(s): I already recapped the incredible Harry Potter-themed shower that Jenn threw for me. In addition, my awesome coworkers threw an adorable shower for me at work, complete with a taco bar, cake, and ice cream. I may or may not have indulged a little that day - sorry, blood sugar reading.

Looking Forward to: Getting completely ready for Baby Hotch. Nesting is something I love in my normal life, so it feels really good to get things prepared. Wheat and I assembled a dresser for her without killing each other, so that felt like a major achievement. We also start birth and baby classes next week, so I'm excited to tour the hospital and get some more info.

Missing: My mom. I just miss my mom. I still can't believe I'm doing this without her. She has three grandchildren on the way and she'll never meet them. It destroys me on a daily basis. Wheat and I went to the zoo on Mother's Day to honor my mom - she loved nothing more than animals.

Wheat: Still killing it. Surprised? He has been so supportive with my diet and exercise changes and did some major purging of our apartment. Anyone that knows him knows he'll be the best dad. I can't wait to see it.

The most MAGICAL baby shower!

A couple weekends ago, Jenn threw me (and baby Hotch) the Harry Potter baby shower that dreams are made of. When asked awhile back, I told her that I'd like a Harry Potter theme and she absolutely blew me away with the level of planning and effort she put into it. I literally felt like I was transported on the Hogwarts Express to the Great Hall. As soon as I walked in and saw the floating candles in the doorway, I burst into tears.

You can't BUY friends like this, folks. Not even with knuts, sickles, and galleons.

Seriously. Every detail was flawless. From the names of the food - Ravenslaw, the Charcuterie of Secrets, My Patronus is Pulled Pork, and my personal favorite, Sloppy Cho - to the amazing Honeydukes station filled with chocolate frogs, golden snitches, Bertie Bott's, chocolate and licorice wands, Fizzing Whizbees, and the cutest cookies I've ever seen, I was in heaven everywhere I turned.

She set up a Platform 9-3/4 and made the cutest prop with Daily Prophet headlines for photo stations. She even decorated the bathroom with Moaning Myrtle on the mirror and a sign for the Ministry of Magic posted above the toilet. To say this muggle was thrilled would be an understatement.

On top of all this, I had the most incredible friends and family come from all over to help me celebrate. My sister came from North Carolina, my mother-in-law came from Texas, and I had friends come from all over the state of Ohio to shower this baby with love. I even had a dear friend come just two weeks after having her own baby! My dad, who cooked the delicious pulled pork, and Wheat even came to the shower at my request, despite probably feeling strange as the only guys.

Initially, I was worried that not having my mom there would dampen the mood or cast a dark cloud on the event. But while I was painfully aware of her absence and wished so desperately she could be there, I felt so well-loved and taken care of. It was overwhelming. So many of the incredible women in my life, from high school friends to college friends to family, gathered together to lift me up, support me, and let me know I'm not alone. Instead of feeling sorry for myself, I just felt lucky.

...and man! We walked out of there with two cars loaded with baby necessities. Like I said, it was overwhelming. Someone must have had a little Felix Felicis potion for breakfast...

Oh baby, baby...

I know I promised you Charleston posts, but today, I'm going to be very self-indulgent and give you a pregnancy update instead. Having a blog in the first place is a pretty narcissistic venture, so why not give the people what they want? ...and by the people, I mean me...to look back on someday as a keepsake.

I am quickly approaching 23 weeks pregnant(!). For those of you who don't know what that means (like me five months ago), I'm a little over halfway done cooking. My due date is July 13th and so far, so good. I feel like I can't complain because it has been relatively smooth physical sailing. A little nausea in the first trimester, but virtually no throwing up. I can't brush my teeth without gagging, I get winded walking up the stairs at work, and I feel like someone gave me a horse tranquilizer every morning, but that's about it.

Unfortunately, I am having some blood pressure issues, but it's being managed closely by an army of doctors and I'm hopeful we get the right medication combination soon. I had high blood pressure before pregnancy, but it was always managed appropriately with medicine. The entrance of this tiny one threw things out of whack and I'm sure this is just the first of MANY things she'll be rearranging in our lives.

I feel her kicking around in there a lot these days and Wheat has been able to catch it a couple times, too. It still hasn't really sunk in yet that there is a tiny human being inside of me, but maybe it never will.

We finally opened a registry for her last weekend and oh my word. Talk about overwhelming. How can there be so many choices for strollers? How do they possibly manufacture that many different baby monitors? How do you know you're picking the right one? The nice lady at the store told us you can't really make the wrong choice, so I'm banking on that being true. Fingers crossed.

I only cried once while walking through Buy Buy Baby and it wasn't because I was overwhelmed by cribs and diaper pails. In the front of the store, there was a display with top books for babies and one of them, How Do I Love You?, caught my eye. My mom gave it to me a few years ago as a gift. Just because she loved me. A children's board book with padded covers and bright, colorful illustrations. She gave it to her 20-something daughter to tell her how much she loved her. I still have it in my bedroom at home. I absolutely lost it. I can't believe I'm doing this without her. I can't believe she isn't here to walk this road with me and show my daughter how much she loves her, too. It isn't fair.

So far, the biggest challenge for me during pregnancy has been my emotions. I've heard women talk about pregnancy hormones and mood swings (and I'm sure that isn't helping matters), but that's not what I mean. I just feel...crushed. I constantly think about my mom and how badly I need her. When I do experience a moment of joy, I'm almost instantly sucked back into grief because she isn't here to share it with me. When does this start to feel better? When do I find peace in her absence, understanding in my pain? I'm a motherless daughter about to have a daughter of her own.

The only solace I can find is in the knowledge that everything I do as a mother (or an expectant one) will be because I learned it from her. She is, and will always be, part of me and how lucky is that? I literally have the most magnificent mother and teacher in my genes...so I'm bound to figure this out, right? The greatest gift I ever received was being her daughter and I can't wait to show mine what she showed me.

...and now I'm sobbing, so I'll close with a more traditional bumpdate. Oh yeah - it's a total bummer being pregnant and overweight because NO ONE CAN TELL YOU'RE PREGNANT. It's obvious to me, but no kindness from strangers in the airport, no cute baby bump pictures each week. Here's what you get instead:

Taken at our first appointment (10 weeks)

Food Cravings/Aversions: Sour cream at first, but that's always a craving for me. I'm really digging fruit, fries, and Indian food. So strange. No aversions really. I feel like I'm hungry all the time.

Maternity Clothes: Yep. Caved and bought a pair of stretchy jeans from Lane Bryant a couple weeks ago.

Sleep: Always. I'm able to fall asleep at the drop of a hat and I haven't been too uncomfortable, either. I do wake up in the middle of the night to use the restroom now, though.

Travel: Since finding out I was pregnant, this baby has been to Kansas City, Raleigh, Cincinnati, and Charleston for our babymoon. Starting her early.

Gender Reveal: We went to my dad's house and Wheat kicked a football filled with pink powder while we video chatted our loved ones in other states. It was simple, but perfect for us.

Looking Forward To: Setting things up for her in our one-bedroom apartment. At first, I felt very worried we wouldn't have enough space, but I'm feeling better now that we've registered for some major items.

Missing: Besides my mom? Deli meat sandwiches. I think I'm the only person on the planet who is daydreaming about Subway.

Wheat: Is a rockstar, but is anyone surprised by that? He's even more doting than usual - which is saying a lot - and he talks to my belly every day. I cannot wait to see him be a dad.