Man Meat Monday #34

I know my blog has been nothing but hockey lately, and I promise I'll try my best to cool it, but it's Monday. You know what that means.

...and I've spent WAY too much time near this hunk of Man Meat lately not to choose him. I'm VERY curious to see if anyone agrees with me on this one. At long last, I present...

Evgeni Malkin

Claim to Fame: Center for and Alternate Captain of the Pittsburgh Penguins

Birthday: July 31, 1986

Born and raised in Russia, Evgeni "Geno" Malkin played in the Russian Superleague for three years before literally escaping to the United States to play for the Penguins. In order to do so, he had to leave his family, friends, country, and comfort zone at the age of 19, moving to an unfamiliar place where not only did he know no one, but he didn't even know the language.

Six years, one Stanley Cup, and nearly every other hockey award later, Geno feels at home in the US, has learned plenty of English, and has completely melted my heart. On a daily basis, I vacillate between wanting to shower with him and just wanting to hug him. I really cannot decide. Coach Dan Bylsma has said that of every player on the team, Geno probably has the highest IQ. Even without knowing the language, he picked things up incredibly fast and is constantly reading and learning. He acts like a big kid - he tells funny jokes and constantly plays around with his teammates. He also tweets the most incredible things in broken English. Here are a few golden examples:

"Just read that the tomato = fruit?? True?" - October 1, 2011

"I am getting ready to Halloween" - October 12, 2011



He also included this picture, which means that a 25-year-old, Russian, professional athlete took the time to decorate his backyard for Halloween. It also means that I would sell my soul to be with him.

If his big brains, talent, and personality aren't enough for you, he also has a huge...heart. (See what I did there?) He hosted the benefit I attended last month to raise money for the families of the victims of the Team Lokomotiv plane crash. I dare your eyes not to water when reading what he did after playing in a Russian hockey game for charity:



Oh yeah - he looks like that, too. His hands, his smile, his clothes, his deep voice. He even has that big oafish athlete look that tends to kill me. Speaking of kill me:



Oh, no. Don't worry. I didn't need my ovaries.

Random Tidbit: Geno owns a prison-themed restaurant back home in Russia, complete with barred windows and plank-beds for seats.

Only downfall?: He loves the Steelers. Really, he loves them.

Please notice how confused he looks when Dan Potash compares him to a Mercedes. Yes, he does say, "He pass me."



...and in his native language...



Now, I don't speak Russian at all very well, but I'm pretty sure the interviewer asked him how he feels about me. He responded something along the lines of: "Brittany fulfills a piece of my heart that I didn't know was missing. She shows me the meaning of love, makes me laugh, and makes me want to be the best version of myself. There is absolutely nothing in this life that I love more....and the sex? Mind-blowing."

Like I said, I'm not fluent. Just a rough translation.

So, readers: It's your turn. Does Geno's adorable personality chip away at you like a Russian nesting doll?

I don't know about you, but he makes me feel like this: