My Sure Thing

After years of tears and complaints to my best friend, the moment I worried would never happen to me actually happened on New Year's Eve. In short, I'm engaged!

Over the course of middle school, high school, and college, I muttered the phrase, "I'm going to die alone" more times than I care to admit. Sometimes, it was spoken in the confines of my room, broken up by sobs and sniffles. Other times, it was followed by a short chuckle in an effort to disguise the actual fear in my voice.

I'm not exaggerating when I say this: I never thought I'd find someone who wanted to spend the rest of his life with me. Unlike other girls who daydream about the design of their wedding dress or the color of the flowers at their reception, I spent my nights wondering if that day would come, not when or how.

When I met Wheat, it took me five weeks to realize I wanted to marry him. Five whole weeks. It took considerably longer than that to convince him to take me on a date. However, my persistence paid off and a couple months after that first date, he told me he loved me and I actually felt the true weight of his words.

...and I know this probably sounds strange, but I knew from that moment that we would be married. I'm not a believer in soul mates, but I do know that Wheat and I are better together. We push each other to be the best versions of ourselves and we fit perfectly together when we cuddle or slow dance in the living room. Moments that I would have previously deemed unbearable became tolerable, simply because he was holding my hand. Choosing to hold his hand for the rest of my life was the easiest decision I've ever made.

On New Year's Eve, when he came home from his game with a dozen roses, I didn't think anything of it because that is typical behavior for Wheat. I got off the phone with my Nana, who I called to wish a happy anniversary, even though my Grandad passed away seven years ago. He sat me down on the couch, held my hands, and told me that he didn't want me to remember 2014 as the year my mom got cancer. He wanted me to remember it as the year she beat cancer and the year we got engaged.

And just like that he was on his knee, asking me to marry him. Although I knew it was coming at some point, I melted into a sobbing mess. In my emotional explosion, I forgot to answer him and opted instead with a hug. He asked if that meant yes. I exclaimed, "Of course!" then nervously asked if he was sure (as you can see, I still struggle with confidence issues). As I continued to gasp for breath, he reminded me that he was, in fact, holding an engagement ring, something that had until then gone completely unnoticed by me. Though I've told him time and time again that I hate jewelry, the ring he held was perfect - simple, elegant, and beautiful (in his words, just like me) - proving yet again that he probably knows me better than I know myself.

After informing our immediate family, we spent the rest of the night like a typical New Year's Eve. We met Manny and Elizabeth at Bourbon Street, our local haunt, for dinner. We sang along to '90s songs on the jukebox and toasted to each other at midnight. Back home, we split a bottle of wine, cuddled together on the couch, and fell asleep in a bizarre combination of giddiness and absolute peace. Fittingly, that's exactly how I'd describe my life with Wheat so far - unbelievably exciting, but also my one sure thing.