2014: The Year in Painful Review

In full disclosure, I've been absolutely dreading this post.

For me (and most of the people I know), 2014 has been rough. Like really terrible. For months, my mom and I have been talking about how we can't wait to kiss this year goodbye. But as I sat here, reminiscing on the last 365 days and compiling a list of the high(and low)lights, I actually started to feel weirdly grateful. This year, with all of its challenges and hardships, taught me some pretty valuable lessons. It showed me how strong I am, brought my family closer together (albeit not in a physical sense), and most importantly, it reminded me to cherish the time I have with those I love.

That's not to say that I took that time for granted before. I didn't. But when you're faced with the worst news you've received in your life, horrifying statistics, hospital visits, and more tears than I thought were humanly possible to shed by one person, it just internalizes in a way that I simply can't explain via blog post. Suddenly, weekends don't need to be filled to the brim with back-to-back plans. They are just as easily spent on the couch with family, friends, food, and a movie.

It's okay for me to say that 2014 sucked. By most standards, it did. My mom was diagnosed with stage four colon cancer after being misdiagnosed with ovarian cancer. She underwent two major operations, spent a few weeks in the hospital, lost her hair for no reason, got a colostomy bag, went through 12 rounds of chemotherapy, got painful blood clots in her lungs and a case of the shingles for good measure. My brother was deployed overseas, my sister moved to Arizona, and Wheat's grandmother passed away. I settled for a job outside of sports, underwent thousands of dollars' worth of my own medical exams, started taking antidepressants and anti-anxiety medication, and gained 20 pounds.

But you know what? We're still here...and I'm filled with more love than I've felt in my entire life. When faced with this battle, my parents seemed to fall in love with each other all over again. My dad quit drinking completely, shaved his head to match my mom, and for the first time in a long time, I'd spy them holding hands. My sister followed her heart to Arizona to be with Denny and though I miss her everyday, I'm so happy that she's making a life for herself. My brother moved back home and reminded me how much better life is with him around. It's incomprehensible the amount of encouraging texts, emails, phone calls, and blog comments I got from amazing friends and family around the country.

...and don't even get me started with Wheat. His patience and unfaltering love and support have single-handedly gotten me through this year. He has loved me at my lowest low, pulled me from the brink of insanity, and instead of leaving or getting frustrated, he embraced me and carried me through it...all while praying, loving my family, and calling me beautiful when I felt anything but. He is my greatest source of strength, the reason I love looking back, and the reason I'm excited to move forward.

Though this year is easily clouded by the bad times, it's amazing how many awesome things I've done. I've traveled - to New Orleans, Las Vegas, Nashville, Gatlinburg, Wisconsin, Iowa, Alabama, Louisville, Chicago, Oxford, and Columbus. I've grown professionally - I had a story published in the Cincinnati Enquirer, improved my interview skills, wrote for a professional hockey team, learned database support, and worked as an editor. I've explored Indy, had several visitors, and moved back downtown to an apartment we love. I've celebrated love - weddings for TJ and Tasha, Corbin and Andrea, and Blake and Ryan. I've enjoyed live sports - Bengals, Reds, Cyclones, Pacers, Fever, Penguins, Predators, Buckeyes, Redhawks - and concerts and plays - Dave Matthews Band (twice), CCR, The Sing Off Tour, Michael Franti, Cirque de la Symphonie, Nick + Knight Tour, Phillip Phillips, The Book of Mormon. See? It's been a pretty awesome year when you read that paragraph.

So, I suppose that's how life works. Things are never entirely good, but they're never entirely bad, either. If you choose to learn from the bad moments, they make the good ones even better. That's what I'm taking away from 2014. It's the sweet up and down, my friends. Until next year...