Keep me away from story time.

Well, you can officially strike 'Children's Book Author' from my list of potential career paths.

This morning, I tweeted a list of children's books that I co-wrote ruined for everyone. Tonight, since I have more than enough time on my hands, I've decided to create some book covers for you.

The first couple highlight my ability to see the best in every situation.





The next one serves as a commentary on my sleeping hours.



I wouldn't be doing the children justice if I didn't share my writing niche with them.



I carefully instruct the children to follow in my stealthy footsteps...



...and finally, my personal favorite.



If you're wondering why a major media outlet hasn't hired me for my impeccable skills in MS Paint, I'm right there with you.

Still single.