Don't get me wrong. It has also been really fun, but I'm not one of those girls who has had her dream wedding planned out since childhood. Sure, I have a secret wedding Pinterest board (I'm not some kind of wild animal), but that's about the extent of how much thought I'd invested in my seemingly long-off
Things We've Done
- Picked a date and booked the venue
- Bought my wedding dress
- Created a guest list and chose our wedding party
- Booked a photographer
- Scheduled a tasting of dinner options (basically the most exciting thing so far)
- Booked an officiant
Things I Think We Need to Do Really Soon
- Book a DJ
- Have our engagement photos taken
- Send out Save the Dates (which I think we'll be doing online because $$$)
- Secure a block of rooms at a hotel and a venue for the rehearsal dinner
I can't even begin to make a list of long-term things to do. My head starts spinning when I even begin to think about flower options, tablecloth colors, wedding party entrances, centerpieces, hotel welcome bags, and transportation. One thing at a time, yeah?
So, here are a few of my questions:
- I don't drink at all and Wheat's not much of a drinker, either. Will my guests be upset if I only offer them a couple kinds of beer and one red/one white wine for the reception? Because I'd much rather save my money or spend it elsewhere.
- A videographer. I desperately want one, but I'm not sure I can justify the cost, especially since I just spent a fortune on our photographer. Should I take the plunge? I know I'd love to have video of the day.
- Is it tacky to send out Save the Dates via email? My dad is trying to convince me to send the invitations via email, but I absolutely drew the line there. I want paper invitations, but is it lame to do online Save the Dates?
- Am I supposed to buy my fiance's parents a gift for the day? That's a thing, right? Any good, unique ideas for that?
- Dessert. Which would you rather have? One big cake, several smaller cakes of different flavors, or cupcakes? I know which is cheapest...While we're talking about cakes, what's the deal with groom's cakes? I know it's a fun way to do something cutesy and themed for your husband, but I feel like I'm missing something here.
I went to the gastroenterologist yesterday because I've been having stomach issues for a while now. While talking to him, he asked if anything stressful had been happening lately. I told him no (other than my mom and her treatment), but over the course of our conversation, he found out I was recently engaged. Instantly, he pounced on that as an explanation for stress-related irritable bowel syndrome. He explained that even though it's positive stress, it's still stress...and when I find myself knee-deep in bridesmaid dress options, song lists, invitation etiquette, tux rentals, and wedding favor ideas, I think I know what he means. :)
Here's the thing woman... it's your day. If you want a limited amount of alcohol at your wedding DO IT. It's about you and Wheat and no one else. As far as Save the Dates, consider if you actually NEED them. I sent them out and half of David's family was like "oh, what a great idea, I've never seen save the dates before." I think it's a Pinterest-provoked thing...
ReplyDeleteIf you want video of your day, I am offering my services as a wedding gift. I am in NO way a professional, so do not feel compelled to say yes. But I can certainly take some video and edit it together if you'd like!
Presents for your parents and his parents is certainly traditional, but don't go overboard. They know it's about you, so even a nice card will be more than thoughtful.
I'm no expert, but I told myself there was no way I was going to make wedding planning anything short of fun. So you decide whatever you and Wheat want and your guests will love you whether you have cakes, cupcakes, or no dessert at all!
I think beer and wine is totally fine...nothing that has to be super crazy or expensive.
ReplyDeleteFor our cake, we did a simple tiered cake and then sheet cake (that was hidden in the back). It is way cheaper and no one will know they are eating sheet cake and not your actual cake ;)
I have IBS too and stress definitely makes it flare up. I haven't found any great solutions but I do take Peptogest, a peppermint oil pill (amazon has it) and it helps slightly.
Erica is right- it is your day and you get to choose what YOU want! Just a few beer and wine options are totally fine- that's what we did! I think I told you this already, but if I could give any advice, I would say splurge the most on the photographer and videographer- I went cheap on these and have regretted it ever since. Unlike the cake, flowers, etc., those are the things you'll have forever so you want to love them.
ReplyDeleteAs for save the dates, I think an online version would be great! They make adorable evite type things now so I say go for it :) Parent gifts- we framed one of our engagement pictures for them and wrote a nice card thanking them for all that they've done for us- sweet, simple, and heartfelt! :) And cakes- so many people do a fake tiered cake now with sheet cakes in the back, and it's a delicious and easy way to save money. I think only the top tier is real because y'all will save that and eat it on your anniversary!
I love wedding planning so seriously text me anytime if you need help or advice! I'm happy to help! :)
Don't stress! It's your day and can be whatever you want!! Don't spend all your money on alcohol. A few wines/beers is FINE! You know my thoughts on a videographer. ;) I spent less on flowers and did simple arrangements. Think of ways to not use flowers in a centerpiece or make the center pieces at tables different to save costs. Presents can be thoughtful and inexpensive. Think photo book or framed pictures! Everything will be fine! Keep it simple. Keep it you!!!!
ReplyDeleteGiiiirl do not stress - hindsight is 20/20 and I can tell you the little things we stressed about hardly mattered. I'll do my best to help, though!
ReplyDeleteWith your drinks? Don't worry. Do what you can. If having a cash bar is what you can do, that's what you can do! Us personally? We had a dry wedding. It saved a TON of cash and just solidified that my friends and family can have more of a blast than other being totally sober ;)
Videographer thoughts: invest in a cheap video camera and give it to your MOH or the best man for the day. Buy iMovie and edit it yourself. We "hired" a guy from our church who was going to be at our wedding anyway...only $100 and he killed it!!! :) he dabbled in it already and its not like MOVIE quality but hey, its us...and you can tell we all had an amazing day. Again, don't break the bank over this! It's awesome but not a necessity!
Save the dates can be cheap if you find a good coupon. I don't even think we spent $100 and got ours from Magnet Street Wed! I don't think online save the dates are tacky at all... its FREE, after all! ;)
Ummmm.... in law gifts? I had no idea. #whoops
I didn't do a "Grooms" cake for Caleb. Now that I think of it, I didn't really get him anything for our day..since we paid for most of the wedding ourselves and we were on a very tight budget! ;) oh well. I'll tell you what we did! One smaller cake that would feed about 100 and then 200 cupcakes. I think it was like $300 total... but no one ate the cake. Literally. NO ONE. So, I would do one or the other ;)
Okay I'm done with my novel comment. Just make sure that at the end of the day...your wedding is a representation of YOU!!!!! :)
Let your man get his own giant cookie cake, that's his thing to worry about, not yours! Excited to hear about your engagement photos!
ReplyDeleteFirst off, it's YOUR wedding! Don't give a second thought to what your guests will like... WHO CARES?! If you don't want to spend the money on alcohol, DON'T! Especially when you aren't drinkers, or big drinkers anyway. Those who are coming to your wedding KNOW you and Wheat, and will understand why there's not endless varieties of drinks. You know? And again with the cake, do what you can afford! Not what you think everyone will prefer! We had one big cake and it worked out perfectly!
ReplyDeleteOur parents generation is all about the hand mailed crap. My mom wouldn't even let me print addresses on the envelopes via computer. It had to be hand written... since she was paying for it, I did it! But yes, email save the dates would be fine. Just don't ask the older generation for advice because they will always tell you mailed and hand written, ha ha!
The one thing I would go back and change about my wedding day is having a videographer. It's something that I would have LOVED to have and I'm actually really sad I don't! So it would have been worth the splurge for me... I just wish I would have realized it at the time! But Eric, Mia and I have done one family video and I'm obsessed. Watch it all the time with Mia! I wish I could show her a wedding video! So we will continue doing these little family videos because I'm just obsessed with them, ha!
Good luck, girl! Planning your wedding can definitely be stressful, but SO much fun! So try and enjoy it as much as you can! And once you start stressing about money? Cut something out! Don't worry about what anyone else thinks because.... are they the ones paying for it? Okay then ;)
Don't make it complicated- that is my advice :) I wasn't someone who had ANY clue what I'd want the wedding to be like in advance of being engaged. I will say- if your wedding is only 6 months away, I wouldn't even bother with save-the-dates. Our engagement was only 9 months long and we didn't send them bc it was an extra cost we just didn't think was necessary. We had a completely dry wedding reception and it didn't offend/upset/bother a single person. We danced all night long. If you guys aren't drinkers- don't serve it if you don't want to! The day IS about you two :) I do regret not having a videographer- but the costs were too much for us too. I'd at least ask a family friend to have a video camera and shoot the ceremony and then get some fun candid stuff at the reception. Even if it's not professional, it would be nice to have footage and you can give them a nice gift/gift card/cash for their help (instead of $$$$$$!) Also, we didn't do gifts for parents OR in-laws.... they got thank you cards after the event for all they did/helped with. No groom cake for us either- just a cake, although we thought of doing cupcakes too- just pick what you guys like! :)
ReplyDeletemost important thing is to enjoy the process! the best wedding is the kind that fits your personality, so you should do whatever feels most you. emailing save the dates? if that's most you, do it. same thing with beers/wine - whatever feels most you. i've had friends email STDs and I've also had friends have self-serve kegs at their wedding, and both were 100% fine. the most important thing - and what everyone really cares about - is watching you marry your best friend :)
ReplyDeleteI think Groom's cakes are a geographical thing, because I had never heard of it until I moved to Oklahoma. Everyone does it here, but people don't do it in Illinois! At least none of my friends. The answer to all your questions is: do what YOU want to do. We had a dry reception and no one was mad, or if they were they didn't tell me about it! We didn't have a videographer because I didn't care that much. But we paid good money for our photographer, and I don't regret it one bit. If you really want a video and will regret not having one, then I say go for it. We didn't have a cake at all.... I had cupcakes :) I love cupcakes!
ReplyDeleteI have no grand help, weddings were and still are just not my thing, but. . . I will say, if I could ever go back and redo anything it would be to pay the big money on a photographer and videographer. Our video is so bad, not once do you even see me face, the whole thing is ridiculously cheesy, and honestly ten years later, it's the one and only thing I would really like to have.
ReplyDeletewww.hollandsreverie.blogspot.com
so exciting! through all the stress just do your best to enjoy it because it's only once!! :)
ReplyDeletexo welltraveledwife.com