I haven't talked to my parents in two weeks. They've been on a transatlantic cruise, living my dream life. They were in Barcelona yesterday and tomorrow, they will be in Nice. Rough life. Since they've been gone, a tornado has touched down in town, a prisoner escaped from the local jail (and I got a phone call telling me to lock my doors), Prince got fleas, and I suffered my first flat tire.
Unfortunately, this also means I have missed my mom's birthday AND Mother's Day. So, I've decided to dedicate a coveted Man Meat Monday slot to my wonderful mom.
Instead of providing you with all the cliche, yet true Mother's Day phrases - like "My mom is my best friend" and "She is beautiful, inside and out" - I will share some lesser-known details about why my mom is the best human on planet Earth. Let's face it: It's always the little things that mean the most.
- When we were younger, my brother, sister, and I were pretty imaginative. We would pretend to be British adventurers, wandering through the lush jungle, hiding from dangerous animals, and building forts out of branches and sticks. Suddenly, we would stumble upon a random house (my house) and ask the landlord (my mom) if we could stay for a few nights. She would always play along perfectly, telling us that we could stay, that she would make us dinner, and that she had three kids that were roughly our sizes and we could wear their clothes while they were out of town.
- Every morning, when Prince wakes her up to go outside, my mom lets him out before going to the bathroom herself. Selflessness at its best.
- She is the only person on Earth that knows exactly what I mean when I say I like the way that Matt Damon chews gum.
- When I was in Girl Scouts, my mom became a co-leader for my troop. All of the girls loved her and she was great at coming up with cute activities for us to do. However, she was also a stay-at-home mom and had to watch my brother and sister. So, she killed two birds with one stone by bringing them to all of our meetings. They did absolutely everything with us. To this day, we never miss an opportunity to remind my brother that he was a Brownie.
- When my mom realized that hockey wasn't just a phase I was going through, she not only learned the rules of the game and most of the Pittsburgh Penguins' roster, she also memorized every single team in the NHL and made me quiz her on them.
- Whenever I called my mom to complain about exams or papers in college, she always ended our conversation with, "Well, if you have any coloring to do, let me know."
- My mom put a small note in my packed lunch every single day in elementary school. Everyone was jealous.
- Almost every weeknight, my mom watches Jeopardy with me. When I get Final Jeopardy right and she's impressed, I dance around while she sings, "Smarty pants dance, smarty pants dance, look at my Bibbles do the smarty pants dance." In fact, it's exactly like this, but I'm 24 years old.
- When Evgeni Malkin scored his 50th goal this season, she started to cry...and I didn't.
- She probably sees this blog post on Man Meat Monday as the highest form of flattery.
...and coming from me, she's right.
I love you, my wonderful Mommles! You're everything I am and I'm not even half the woman you are.
beautiful wahhhhhh <3 :'(
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