I'm bacon myself hungry.

Guys, you aren't going to believe it, but I'm alive. I'm not entirely sure what happened back in September, but apparently, I decided that blogging was too much of a drain on my already limited supply of energy and creativity. Now, of course, I regret that because I haven't documented so many important things that have happened between now and then.

Like what, you ask?

Well, my best friend got married. My sister got engaged. My mom's latest scan was completely clear and showed no signs of cancer. My amazing Grandmom passed away. I completed another trip around the sun and turned 29. My greatest fear came true when Donald Trump was elected president. Wheat and I celebrated one year of marriage and spent our first Christmas together. You know, life.

Wheat mentioned this abandoned space yesterday and I suddenly felt a longing to return. So, here I am again with no promises. And what better way to dive headfirst into blogging again than by sharing my experience at Indy Bacon Fest this weekend? You're welcome, carnivores.

On a whim, Wheat and I decided to attend the third annual event, which was held this year at Pan Am Plaza downtown, and it was exactly as dreamy as it sounds. For $30/person, we were given a drink ticket and four food tickets that we could use to exchange for bacon- or pork-inspired creations from local restaurants and vendors. We were a little worried that the samples might not be big enough to fill us, but we were very wrong. We ended up mostly sharing each sample, so we were able to try a wide variety of dishes.

Some highlights? Wheat and I agreed that the thick strips of seasoned bacon from the Pint Room might have won the day simply because the focus was the bacon and it practically melted in your mouth. However, I also really loved the bacon corn chowder from Sysco Indianapolis and the bacon ball donuts from Jack's Donuts.

Clockwise from top left: Crispy pork belly with pickles and BBQ sauce from North End BBQ; chocolate bacon pot au creme with chocolate and marshmallow ganache from Three Sisters Cafe; chocolate fountain for bacon dipping from Kroger; Wolf Pack Bacon Mac from Wolfie's Grill

A couple local radio stations emceed the event, there were plenty of giveaways (including the little flying pig key chain I won in the picture above), and a massive pig ice sculpture from Hardee's served as the centerpiece of the room. I should also mention that as we were leaving, we passed a guy protesting the event by handing out free samples of veggie bacon outside. Mark my words: I would have tried it if I wasn't already filled to the brim. Wheat and I are huge fans of Top Chef and this felt about as close as we're going to get to attending one of those awesome tasting events on the show. In other words, we're definitely on board for going again next year. Any takers?

From top to bottom, left to right: Seasoned bacon slices from Pint Room; Bacon Fest signage; bacon ball donuts from Jack's Donuts; bacon corn chowder from Sysco Indianapolis

After catching our breath and recuperating for a couple hours at home, we headed to the Murat for a Coen Brothers double feature. I won a pair of tickets to the event the day before and since we'd never been to a Murat Movie Night, we decided to check it out. The movies are projected onto a screen in one of their concert halls and attendees are welcome to bring blankets and chairs to spread out. In other words, it's the winter equivalent of a drive-in theater. We enjoyed The Big Lebowski followed by O Brother, Where Art Thou? and somehow found room to split a pretzel and popcorn. Unfortunately, I couldn't convince Wheat to buy the specialty drink of the night: The Dude's White Russian.

I promise I'll step up my picture-taking game.

...and so, I'm already counting down to next weekend and Super Bowl Sunday. Remind me again why the day after the Super Bowl hasn't been declared a national holiday yet?

23 Days!

It doesn't seem possible, but my best friend is getting married in 23 days. As in, a little over three weeks.

It feels like yesterday that we celebrated her engagement with a surprise party in our hometown, but it was actually a year and a half ago. Time flies when you're so busy you can barely breathe.

Speaking of time flying, her bridal shower was at the end of July...and I still haven't blogged about it. Forgive me, blog gods, for I have sinned.

The bridal shower, which was hosted by her mom, sister, and aunt, was absolutely perfect. They rented out a beautiful community space at her aunt's apartment complex and transformed it into girly, bridal shower heaven. Balloons, pictures, a mimosa bar, more food than you can imagine, the works.

I felt particularly special because I had the distinct honor of delivering the woman of the hour to her own party. We played games, including a hilarious one where we wrote a story about Jenn and Paul with each guest adding a sentence after only reading the one immediately preceding theirs. We ate tons of food - I set up shop near the brownies and lemon bars. Jenn opened gifts, which included, but was not limited to, a whip and handcuffs from her future mother-in-law. It was a blast.

At this point, Jenn's family has basically become mine, so it was wonderful to catch up with them and celebrate one of our favorite people together. Several of our college housemates were there, as well as a couple dear friends from high school, and I left wondering why there aren't more perfect opportunities to gather all your close friends together and party in the middle of a Sunday afternoon. Oh, and my precious niece was there, so it was a real party.

Am I the only one that thinks Jenn looked gorgeous enough in that white dress that it could pass as her actual wedding dress? I can't wait to share pictures of her in the real thing because it's AH-MAZ-ING.

Life keeps moving.

While I've been taking an eternity to finish blogging about our honeymoon, lots (and lots! and lots!) of other awesome things have been happening around us. In fact, I get kinda overwhelmed when I think about all the things I've neglected to share on this blog lately. Between my best friend's bridal shower and bachelorette weekend, concerts galore, visits with family and friends, the Summer Olympics, my high school ten-year reunion, HBO's The Night Of, and random events and festivals, I feel like I've been drowning in a pool of busy happiness. That's not the worst thing, right?

Several of the aforementioned things deserve their own posts, so bear with me on those. For now, here's a quick rundown of some of the cool, but concise things that are hanging out in my memory and phone:

- My mom's cancer is in check and maybe, just maybe, even nonexistent? I'm not sure if I even shared this, but we found out that my mom's cancer was back in a couple spots in January. Her oncologist switched up her chemo drugs and since then, she's had two scans confirming that the spots were shrinking. She had her latest one a couple weeks ago and the news was excellent. The spots were so tiny that the technician who read the scan called them "insignificant." Needless to say, we are beyond thrilled with the news and relieved to see that her weekly chemo regiment is doing its job.

- My sister came to town. I miss her even more than I miss The Walking Dead (hint: that's a lot), so I always try to soak up as much time with her as I can when she's back home. We did a pretty awesome job during her last visit. We hit up our quaint, little hometown's monthly summer block party, enjoyed a bonfire at my brother's house, and went canoeing on the Little Miami River, where I was thoroughly disgusted that I was sharing the same water with fish like the one pictured below. She and my mom also came to visit us in Indy and we spent the night eating, laughing, and marveling over the ridiculous amount of people playing PokemonGo on the canal.

-  Wheat got us free tickets to check out Toruk - The First Flight, the Cirque du Soleil show based on Avatar. Though the show was way more plot-driven and featured fewer acrobatics than other Cirque shows I've seen, I was absolutely blown away by the spectacular, intricate set, which included mountains, valleys, rivers, waterfalls, and trees. The story itself was just okay and I didn't feel very emotionally invested in its outcome, but it was definitely an entertaining date night and I had a child-like freakout when the narrator came near us. Can I please be Na'vi for a day?

- As part of the IndyFringe Festival (a 10-day theater festival on Mass Ave), we bought tickets for an absolutely hilarious Jurassic Park parody called Hold On to Your Butts. Pictures weren't allowed and I don't think I can accurately describe it, but it was basically a live, shot-for-shot remake of the movie done by two actors, a foley artist, and some props. I'm a huge fan of the movie, so I found the jokes where they strayed from the original script or exaggerated certain aspects of the original hilarious (ex. pulling their shorts up and showing lots of man thigh when portraying Muldoon, the British game warden who says, "Clever girl"). I really can't describe it - I mean, they became the T-Rex by strapping a traffic cone to their back - but it was amazing.

- We also made our annual trek to the Indiana State Fair. This year, we got in for free, thanks to our AAA membership. What does that mean? More money to spend on fair food, of course. We rode the ferris wheel, ate buttery corn on the cob, admired a sculpture carved out of cheese, and left with a birthday cake funnel cake and some cherry limeade in tow. I'm glad this thing only happens once a year.

We also saw the Indians take on the Norfolk Tides, screamed while Michael Phelps won all the medals, enjoyed an outdoor stage production of Shakespeare's The Winter's Tale at White River State Park, took a dip in our apartment complex's pool, fell in love with Simone Biles and all the girls, and laughed at all the drama on Bachelor in Paradise.

I'm pumped for fall, but clearly, this summer has treated me nicely. Slow down, Father Time.

The Highly Specific Dos and Don'ts of a European Honeymoon

Not that anyone has asked me for advice on European travel (there are FAR better sources for that), but I've decided to share some, anyway. Ever since our trip ended, I've been thinking about the things we did right, the things we did wrong, and the things that worked out perfectly even though we didn't plan them at all. It's amazing how that works sometimes.

Please enjoy my highly specific advice on honeymooning in London/Amsterdam/Munich:

DON'T ask a stranger to take your picture using your "fancy" camera. Chances are they can barely handle doing it with a cell phone camera.

DO take the time to watch the Game of Thrones season finale on an illegal streaming website. You know it's going to be spoiled for you if you don't.

DON'T go inside the cute London telephone booths. Since pay phones aren't a thing anymore, they've become urinals for homeless people.

DO eat dinner before boarding an overnight train. You might think there will be a fun trolley cart of food passing by (Harry Potter-style), but you're wrong. You're gonna be stuck with a cold hot dog for dinner.

DON'T think you can just show up at a local bar and find a seat while England is playing in an international soccer tournament. You're sadly mistaken.

DO keep an eye out for hilarious artwork. Thank you, tiny Donald Trump look-a-like. You're amazing.

DON'T plug a surge protector into a travel adapter then into the wall. The hotel owner will have to come in on his day off to reset the fuse. Oops.

DO put a protective cover on your camera lens. Trust me.

DON'T tell the customs worker that you chose Munich as a honeymoon destination because you've "always wanted to go to a concentration camp." You'll get some horrible looks.

DO order dessert. You've walked all day, so the calories don't count.

DON'T look for too long at the naked sunbathers at Englischer Garten. They're 60-something-year-old men...unless you're into that kind of thing.

DO look both ways when crossing the street in Amsterdam. While you're at it, do a full 360º because there's undoubtedly a biker headed straight at you.

DON'T stay at Hotel La Boheme in Amsterdam if you have a cat allergy.

DO buy guidebooks from Rick Steves. The man is a saint and I'd really love to be his apprentice.

DON'T lean on the wall at Nymphenburg Palace...unless you like being scolded like a toddler.

DO wander around aimlessly. You might get lost, but you might also run into the Dutch Wayne Newton.

DON'T let the rain hold you back...because that might prevent you from doing anything.

DO keep your eyes peeled because your flight attendants might be staying in the same hotel as you. You also might run into them 20 times before you leave.

DO have the time of your life. You're super lucky to be experiencing the world with the love of your life, so cherish those memories.

Oh, and if you missed out on any of the fun, here are some links:

London: 1, 2, 3, and 4

Amsterdam: 1, 2, and 3

Munich: 1, 2, and 3

Boston: 1 and 2

UPDATE: Wheat made the most incredible video of our honeymoon. Check it out!

Pretending like our honeymoon wasn't over.

When we woke up on our final morning in Europe, I felt a sense of dread...and not just because of the seven-hour flight ahead of us. Our honeymoon was finally coming to a close. The months of planning and anticipation were finally over. Just like our wedding, it was over before it even felt like it started.

But we weren't going to let that fact (or jet lag) bring us down and we spent our final day on vacation crossing another major item off my bucket list on...

Day 12

Boston, Massachusetts

7,516 steps

Highlights: Fenway Park

After another hearty European hotel breakfast, we packed our bags and Wheat pushed me all the way to the Cologne-Bonn airport. Our flight, which was on EuroWings (a subsidiary of Lufthansa), left in the afternoon, so we weren't able to fall asleep at all. Instead, we paid for the unlimited media pass and filled the entire time watching movies on the seatback screens in front of us. How to Be Single, The Grand Budapest Hotel, and Burnt later, we arrived in Boston.

Take notes, American hotel breakfasts.

We took the shuttle to our hotel (the same one as our first stay), left our bags, and promptly bought tickets for the Red Sox vs. Rangers game that night. We'll sleep when we die, I guess. Taking an Uber to the game was probably the biggest mistake of our honeymoon. Not only was the traffic horrible, but we also weren't convinced that our driver had an actual driver's license. Nevertheless, we white-knuckled our way to Fenway without incident.

It didn't take long for me to see why everyone feels they must visit Fenway. The atmosphere was electric, the park was packed to the brim, and I kept having flashbacks to The Town every time I went around a corner. We sat in the outfield, which was nice once the sun went down a bit, and I spent the next couple hours snapping countless pictures of the park and the Green Monster. We ate a proper ballpark dinner, finished it off with ice cream, and made friends with the Boston residents next to us. Wheat, of course, made himself Boston's most-hated man and watched the entire Orioles game on his phone.

By happy accident, we attended a pretty great game for Red Sox fans. In the final year of his career, Big Papi David Ortiz hit his 20th home run of the season, which landed right next to us in the stands. It was his second-longest blast of the season. Dude is strong. The Rangers forgot they were playing a baseball game and made three awful errors in the second inning and things got out of hand really quickly. The Red Sox won, 11-6, and I left with all the baseball, sticky summer night, heart-eye emoji feels I could stand.

I honestly cannot think of a better way to welcome someone back to America than a good, old-fashioned baseball rout. Can you? I'll be back soon, Boston. Promise.

Auf Wiedersehen, Deutschland!

At this point in our honeymoon, we'd worn all of our clothes at least once, our feet were tired, and I was going through severe Chipotle and Dr. Pepper withdrawal. We were also dreading our flight home and the eventual return to reality. So, in an effort to ignore the fact that our dream trip was quickly coming to a close, we pretended we were professional tourists and dove right in to...

Day 11

 Munich and Cologne, Germany

12,857 steps

Highlights: Nymphenburg Palace, Cologne Cathedral

While researching for our trip, we realized that flying out of Cologne would be much cheaper than flying out of Munich, so we arranged for a train ride to Cologne on the night before our flight back to the States. This was all well and good, but that meant a super short last afternoon in Munich, which we didn't anticipate would be as big a bummer as it was.

Originally, I wanted to take a trip to Neuschwanstein Castle, but that was a two-hour drive from Munich one-way, so that plan was quickly scrapped. Instead, we decided to spend our last afternoon exploring the gorgeous, opulent Nymphenburg Palace, the summer residence of the royal Wittelsbach family. It felt like an appropriate alternative because King Ludwig II, who built Neuschwanstein, was actually born in Nymphenburg Palace.

We kicked off our day with a huge breakfast at the hotel, then left our luggage at the front desk before heading to the palace, which is easily accessible by bus. It was hard to tell how massive the palace was from the main road, but as we walked closer, we began to realize how impressive the building(s) was. The lawn and gardens were meticulously manicured and gorgeous, while the ponds and lakes on the property (complete with countless swans, geese, enormous fish, and even gondolas) were breathtaking.

Our trusty Rick Steves guidebook included a section solely on the palace, so we paid for admission and slowly meandered through the rooms open to the public. Fun note: Descendants of the royal family still live in parts of the palace! The main room, with a painted ceiling that belongs in a museum and chandeliers that would make Sia jealous, was staggering. We spent the majority of our visit in that room, trying to imagine what life must have been like for the royals with so many visitors and lavish parties. We saw the room where Ludwig II was born, Ludwig I's "hall of beauties," and several other impressive spaces before venturing outside.

As part of our admission ticket, we were also able to explore the royal family's mind-boggling carriage collection, which is housed in the southern wing of the palace. Seriously, the decadence in the carriages, sleighs, coaches, and even hearses was astounding. The carriage house (or Marstallmuseum) also included a taxidermy horse, who was one of King Ludwig II's personal favorites. From there, we wandered through the beautiful forested area behind the palace to Amalienburg, the royal family's pink hunting lodge. Again, it was stunning to see the opulence and detail that was used to decorate the building. Between one room decorated in only mirrors and another designated for hunting dogs (with individual houses for them), it was clear to see the family spared no expense when it came to their hobbies.

Hunting dog cubbies - so cute.

At this point, we were running out of time at the palace, so we soaked in our final gorgeous views of the gardens in the back. The grounds of the palace are free for anyone to explore, so I daydreamed about returning one day with a picnic lunch and a blanket. Instagram heaven.

We wanted a quick lunch before hopping on our train to Cologne, so we stopped at a small beer garden across from the palace. I finally ordered a proper wiener schnitzel and, though service was a bit slow, it was the perfect (delicious) way to cap our time in Munich. German food is no joke.

With full bellies, we hurried back to our hotel, picked up our luggage, rushed to the train station, and boarded our nearly five-hour train to Cologne. The ride was actually quite pleasant and provided some gorgeous views of the German countryside. We also had the foresight to download Sisters ahead of time, so we spent a couple of those hours laughing at Tina Fey and Amy Poehler.

When we arrived in Cologne, we were immediately greeted by the city's crown jewel - the beautiful cathedral situated right next to the train station. With promises to check it out later, we walked to our hotel for the night, Hotel Cristall. The room, which was definitely the most spacious of our entire trip, came with more gummy bear treats on the pillows and a hilarious Eastern European vibe complete with bizarre decor, a painting of a creepy man in the middle of the room, and bright green lights in the bathroom.

Russian bathroom rave, anyone?

We found dinner at a local Turkish place, then spent the next hour exploring the gorgeous exterior of the cathedral. Like everything else in Germany, it was also under construction, but we were still enthralled by the gothic architecture and dark color. Much of the building was destroyed when Cologne was bombed during World War II, but the twin spires never fell, possibly because they were used as a visual reference by pilots during attacks. Unfortunately, we were not allowed inside, but we did hear beautiful organ music emanating from behind the closed door. On our way back to the hotel, we also spotted the store that gave cologne (as in the fragrance) its name. The first cologne, 4711, was invented in and named after the city in the early 18th century.

I wish we'd had a little more time to explore Cologne, but hey - I'm always looking for reasons to go back.