Someone else's mom yelled at me today. Oops.

While leaving the YMCA after my workout today, I passed a young kid, writhing around on the ground and screaming at the top of his lungs. It didn't take long for me to realize that he was, indeed, throwing a rather professional temper tantrum. Despite looking completely mortified, his mom was standing above him, holding his coat, and repeating the line, "Put on your coat. Do it now."

As I quickly side-stepped him and made my dash for the door, the kid bolted upright, pointed directly at me, and screamed, "BUT SHE ISN'T WEARING ONE!"

As if the death stare she immediately cast in my direction wasn't enough, here was the mom's catty response: "She's an adult. She can make her own bad decisions."

Awesome. Thanks, kid. Calling me out in public? Not cool. Re-directing your mom's wrath toward me? Even worse. If I see this kid in the next few weeks, running around and wreaking havoc on the Young Men's Christian Association, I will nonchalantly stick my foot out in an effort to trip him.

Speaking of tripping, the Pens beat the Lightning (and superstar Steven Stamkos) tonight, 8-1. Thanks for stopping by, Tampa Bay. Tonight was also the final installment of HBO's 24/7. *tear* Despite the fact that it covered the end of Sid's glorious point streak and the Winter (not-so) Classic, it was amazing. What did I learn tonight?

- Matt Cooke is smokin' hot and his adorable interactions with his kids only make him hotter.

- I still hate Bruce Boudreau.

- Locker room shots, FTW. Pantless Max and shirtless Geno? Was I filming this? No. How can you tell? I would have gone into the showers.

- Mike Green sags his pants and doesn't care if the world sees his ass crack in high definition?

- Angry Sid: Part Deux. This time with no 'stache. Dropping more f-bombs, sassing the refs. Mommy like.

- Jordan Staal is the hottest blonde guy I've ever seen. I think.

- I'm sure the Winter Classic was an amazing experience (it looked amazing with the HBO cameras), but I'm kinda glad I didn't go. Not only did the Pens lose, but it rained...and I have glasses. Bleh.

- Ovechkin celebrating before the game was over makes me angry. Also, the Capitals reacted like they had won the Stanley Cup. It's only 2 points, boys. A meaningful 2 points? Sure, but 2 points, nevertheless.

- Evgeni Vladimirovich Malkin, never leave us. Every single thing he did on this series made me 100 times more obsessed with him...and if you know me at all, you know I was already pretty obsessed. The instant he starts talking, I die inside.



I'm not entirely sure what I would do if I ran into him on the street. Assuming I'd be in Pittsburgh, I think I would hug him, start to cry, and ask him to come to my hotel room to explain to me how the Russian government works...and be naked. #hecancrashmynet

...that akward moment when you realize there's no such thing as a sexy, poly-sci major...

Countdowns and Winter not-so-Classic moments.

I can't get enough 2010, so I decided to make a couple lists. What do you think about my picks (not in order)?

Top 10 Movies of 2010

The Town

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 1

Toy Story 3

Inception

Black Swan

Eclipse

The Social Network

I'm Still Here

Knight and Day

Get Him to the Greek

Top 10 Songs (popular) of 2010

"Teenage Dream" - Katy Perry AND Glee

"Kings and Queens" - 30 Seconds to Mars

"Over" - Drake

"Telephone" - Lady Gaga and Beyonce

"Dog Days are Over" - Florence + The Machine

"Rude Boy" - Rihanna

"Deuces" - Chris Brown

"The Only Exception" - Paramore

"Teach Me How to Dougie" - Cali Swag District

"Firework" - Katy Perry

My two favorite CDs of the year are definitely John Mayer's Battle Studies and Diddy-Dirty Money's Last Train to Paris. Both are AMAZING.

Warning: If you don't like hockey, stop now.

Tonight was the NHL Winter Classic. Ugh. All of the anticipation, the hype, the commercials, and HBO's 24/7 made the game seem like more than just a game, but that's all it was. A regular season game. That's what I keep reminding myself.

The Penguins lost to the Capitals, 3-1, at home on Heinz Field. Murr. Here was my gametime uncensored stream of consciousness:

- Sidney finally shaved the 'stache. Small miracle. Look at that sex hair. Unf. Ohhhh Canada is right.

- Honesty hour: I hate seeing Bruce Boudreau for even one second.

- Watching Ovechkin trip for no apparent reason on what seemed to be a breakaway was my 2nd favorite part of the game.

- My favorite part? Geno's amazing goal and his celebration afterward.

...and how he flexes...

...and how he looks in that Winter Classic hoodie...

Please excuse my fangirl-ing, but he's the best imaginary boyfriend. Ever.

- I want to punch whoever was in charge of choosing the camera angles. Why didn't they realize how utterly impossible it was to see and follow the puck? Those angles might be good for kick returns in the NFL, but NOT for a hockey game.

- Jordan Staal is back...and ready to conquer the hockey world. He was on a serious mission and I would imagine he will only get better. YAY!

- The commentator made some remark about how everyone should be excited that Sid and Ovechkin are in the same place at the same time "in the same solar system." WTF does that mean? ...as opposed to the other solar systems that Ovechkin hangs out in?

- Pens didn't shake hands with the Caps. I'm sure they'll be criticized endlessly for this, but I don't blame them. I physically punched my dad when he cheered for the Caps' 3rd goal, I cried, and I tweeted something filled with more profanity than I care to post on my beloved blog...and I didn't play in the game. So, I'm gonna guess that avoiding the ceremonial handshake is probably the healthier coping mechanism.

At any rate, the game is over. The regular season can continue. The Pens still face the Caps two more times before playoffs. So, we'll get 'em. No worries.

*uncontrolled sobs*

I = Bad Luck.

I should have known better than to write that 'stache skit last night.

Sure enough, I jinxed Sid and his lucky 'stache. The point streak ended tonight. At 25 games. The 11th longest in the history of the NHL. Murr.

I know this has absolutely nothing to do with me, but I do find it coincidental. I can't help but feel that my 'fanhood' dooms teams and individual players. Ohio State lost 2 national championship games. The Bengals have lost in the play-offs (twice). Brian Urlacher missed ALL of last season after an injury suffered in the first game. Miami hockey lost the national championship game and in the Frozen Four the following year. Chris Cooley suffered a concussion during the Washington Redskins game I attended. Enough said.

BUT, in order to cheer us all up, HBO aired the third installment of 24/7 tonight. What did I learn this week?

- Penguins' head coach Dan Bylsma is amazing, even without the juxtaposition against awful Bruce Boudreau. You can tell he truly loves the players. He gives them chances and allows them to coach themselves. *sigh*

- It truly pains me to admit how attractive Mike Green and Brooks Laich from the Capitals (AKA the dark side) are. I tried to deny it for two weeks, but I can't anymore. Those...eyes...

- I want to have Geno's Russian-American hybrid babies. On second thought, I've known that for quite some time.

- Sidney Crosby cusses. Like every other professional athlete. He dropped the f-bomb about five times in tonight's episode...and for some reason, I loved it. Probably because he was showing some kind of emotion, rather than the boring nothing-ness he typically exudes in interviews. Meow.

In totally unrelated news, I am dreading New Year's Eve. Does anyone else find New Year's to be completely over-rated? I am sad to say that I haven't had a truly fun New Year's Eve celebration since the 6th grade. I kid you not. Unfortunately, this year doesn't seem to be an exception. I have no plans yet. Uh oh.

A whole lot of nothing.

Tonight, absolutely nothing has struck me as particularly blog-worthy. Unfortunately, I am plagued by this looming sense of obligation - I feel obligated to post an entry every weeknight. So much for high-quality, riveting entries, eh?

At any rate, you are in for a real treat tonight. Why? Because I came across a website called Cats that look like Hitler. They are affectionately called Kitlers, of course.


Yes, friends. This actually exists. I am convinced that nearly every fathomable concept exists, somewhere on the internet.

Do you want further proof? How about Putting Weird Things in Coffee? Or what about Goths in Hot Weather? I'm not kidding. If you can think it, I bet you can find it.

...and, on a completely unrelated note, the Pens won tonight (5-2 against the Florida Panthers). HBO also showed its second installment of 24/7. Aside from my usual loathing of the Washington Capitals, Alex Ovechkin, and their coach, three specific things struck me in this episode.

1. During post-game footage of the Monday night game I attended, Geno gave a little locker room speech. In this speech, he used the sentence, "It's us game." Now, Geno has a perfect excuse. He has come a LONG way and has learned an incredible amount of English in his few years here. That being said, I would like to take this opportunity to extend an invitation to Mr. Malkin for some free personal English tutoring. Those of you who read my blog regularly might remember when I offered to teach Brian Urlacher the 8 parts of speech. I think I can be a very effective, hands-on teacher that provides a little something more than Rosetta Stone. Just saying. ;)

2. Mike Green of the Capitals drives a Vespa...in loafers. Yep.

3. This.


http://www.genoishung.com/iwanttobeonyou

Oh, look at that. A website that DOESN'T exist...yet.

But seriously, this picture makes me feel like:



Thank you, HBO.

NHL Winter Classic Preview?

Oh yeah - I almost peed my pants when they showed the NHL Winter Classic commercial during the Steelers vs. Ravens game tonight.

I may or may not have rewound it 10 times.

I may or may not have found it online already.

I may or may not have paused and print-screened something for your viewing pleasure. I'm going to try to keep it PG-13...but seriously - inside, I'm like...THOSE LIPS!!! AHHH!!! ADAM'S APPLE!!!! AHHH!!! then something horribly raunchy about stick-handling and sticking it in the five-hole... (For the non-hockey fans: the 'five-hole' is a nickname for the area between a goalie's legs)

I must admit - I feel bad for Sid and Ovie for a number of reasons. Many non-hockey fans sum up the entire league by merely mentioning those two names. That puts them under a little bit of pressure. The media, of course, has created this rivalry between the two players...and that rivalry has created the whirlwind of excitement surrounding the Winter Classic.

That being said, there ARE other players on the teams. Surprise! I hope 24/7 isn't 100% focused on the two headlining superstars. (Although I wouldn't mind a TV channel completely dedicated to Sidney Crosby coverage)

I also REALLY hope that the Penguins win the game. The Capitals are having a great season, but so are the Pens. AND, if you really want me to focus solely on the Sid-Ovie comparison, Sid has outplayed Ovechkin thus far. At this moment in time, despite my obvious bias, I think it's fair to say that Sid IS the best hockey player in the league (and certainly the one most crucial to his team). I just hope that on the national stage, when so many non-followers are actually watching the game, Sidney and the rest of the Penguins get the credit they deserve.

Taken from the January 2011 issue of Vanity Fair

...plus, I'm sick of having the Crosby/Ovechkin argument with people. Let's finally put it to rest. ;)